ALSO BY DEEPAK CHOPRA
Abundance
Living in the Light
Quantum Body
Creating Health
Return of the Rishi
Quantum Healing
Perfect Health
Unconditional Life
Journey into Healing
Creating Affluence
Perfect Weight
Restful Sleep
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
The Return of Merlin
Boundless Energy
Perfect Digestion
The Way of the Wizard
Overcoming Addictions
Raid on the Inarticulate
The Path to Love
The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents
The Love Poems of Rumi
(edited by Deepak Chopra; translated by Deepak Chopra and Fereydoun Kia)
Healing the Heart
Everyday Immortality
The Lords of the Light
On the Shores of Eternity
The Soul in Love
The Chopra Center Herbal Handbook
(with coauthor David Simon)
Grow Younger, Live Longer
(with coauthor David Simon)
The Deeper Wound
The Chopra Center Cookbook
(with coauthors by David Simon and Leanne Backer)
The Angel Is Near
The Daughters of Joy
Gold for Enlightenment
Soulmate
The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire
Peace Is the Way
The Book of Secrets
Fire in the Heart
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga
(with coauthor David Simon)
Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives
(with coauthors David Simon and Vicki Abrams)
Life After Death
Buddha
The Essential How to Know God
The Essential Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire
The Essential Ageless Body, Timeless Mind
The Third Jesus
Jesus
Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul
The Ultimate Happiness Prescription
Copyright © 2024 by Deepak Chopra
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of
Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
HARMONY BOOKS is a registered trademark, and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Penguin
Random House LLC.
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Names: Chopra, Deepak, author.
Title: Digital dharma / by Deepak Chopra.
Description: First edition. | New York, NY: Harmony, [2024] | Includes index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2024016282 (print) | LCCN 2024016283 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593797525
(hardcover) | ISBN 9780593797532 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Self-actualization (Psychology) | Spirituality. | Artificial intelligence. | Interpersonal
relations.
Classification: LCC BF637.S4 C4987 2024 (print) | LCC BF637.S4 (ebook) | DDC 153.90285/63—
dc23/eng/20240527
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/ 2024016282
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/ 2024016283
Ebook ISBN 9780593797532
HarmonyBooks.com | RandomHouseBooks.com
Book design by Ralph Fowler, adapted for ebook
Mandala © Marstos – stock.adobe.com
Cover design: Pete Garceau
Cover images: generated by Adobe Firefly generative AI using “metallic circuit GPU in the shape of
a lotus flower” as an initial prompt (lotus flower composition), Getty Images (computer chip)
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CONTENTS
Introduction
The Miracle in the Machine
PART ONE
THE PROMISE OF DIGITAL DHARMA
1 Dharma and Your Ideal Life
2 How to Create Your Own Path
PART TWO
FROM VISION TO REALITY
3 Seeking the Highest Vision
4 The Art of the Prompt
5 Meditate and Reflect: The AI Edge
PART THREE
ACCELERATING YOUR PROGRESS
Strategy #1
Embrace Change
Strategy #2
Put Your Ego on Notice
Strategy #3
Bend and Bounce Back
Strategy #4
Trust the Process
INTRODUCTION
The Miracle in the Machine
In the limitless digital world, the deepest wisdom of the greatest spiritual
traditions is available, literally at our fingertips. Although not truly
intelligent nor conscious, artificial intelligence (AI) has the ability to make
your thinking more intelligent and your inner life more conscious. In fact, I
believe that no technology in decades can equal AI for expanding your
awareness in every area, including spiritual and personal growth.
Such an unexpected advance hasn’t registered in the storm of publicity
surrounding AI, and yet it couldn’t have come at a better time. More people
than ever have adopted idealistic goals like “Be the best you can be,” and a
great number of books offer optimistic plans for increasing human
potential. Finding a successful path to meet these objectives remains a
challenge, however, and it is all too easy to flit from teacher to teacher,
book to book, system to system in mounting frustration.
The harder the times, the more this frustration grows, and during a deep
crisis like the COVID pandemic, hope is often replaced by anxiety for
countless people. With that background in mind, how can AI open a better
path? Let me answer with a personal experience.
Recently, I observed a miracle, or what seemed like one to me.
Whenever I get up in the morning, almost before I lift my head from the
pillow, new ideas are bubbling inside me, and I feel the need to share them
with others. This urge has led to the habit of making daily YouTube videos
about all kinds of subjects. But there are always two common threads:
consciousness and well-being.
To me, these two threads are inseparable; if you want to improve your
well-being, expand your consciousness, or contact deeper wisdom inside
yourself. I inherited the vital importance of consciousness from the Vedic
tradition of India, and my allegiance has never wavered. Even though I
have speaking engagements where I’m flying from city to city (or cooling
my heels at an airport) for two weeks every month, my greatest ally for
reaching a spiritually hungry world has been the Internet (and the hope that
my books will outlast me—spiritual hunger has no past-due date). The
obvious advantage of the Internet is that I don’t have to spend hours on
planes and in airports. With a single video, tweet, or Instagram post,
countless more people can be reached than in even a large auditorium.
That’s the setting for the miracle. On the prompting of a techie far more
conversant in the latest software than I am, I learned that AI could transfer
my daily YouTube videos into Hindi, the major language besides English
spoken in India. We aren’t talking about a transcript or a dubbed version.
Using AI, he generated the same video I recorded in English, only now I
was speaking in perfect Hindi. This transformation took only a few minutes,
and as part of the miracle, my lips were moving correctly in Hindi!
The enormous power of the supercomputers that drive AI—meaning the
free AI you can access right this minute on the Internet—is staggering. AI
can learn any language in a matter of hours, correct any grammatical
mistakes it might make, and, in my case, use a video image of me to turn
my morning talk into a completely new creation.
It takes only a small step to make the connection to personal growth.
What if you could sit down at your computer or smartphone and instantly
get the best information about what it means to be happy and how to get
there? Online chatbots provide answers by combing through all the
information on the Internet or any number of books and libraries. If you
type in, Tell me the top ten things that make people happy, your answer
comes from vast computing power hidden behind the scenes.
Happy is a generalized word, however, and therefore vague. Chatbots
work best if you are specific, and they thrive on long questions with as
much detail as you want to provide. A better prompt (the term for any
instruction or question you feed into an AI) would be I am busy all day with
work and family. I don’t have time for myself. You are an expert
psychologist who specializes in positive psychology. Tell me ten things that I
can start doing immediately to be happier. List these things in the order of
priority, putting the most important thing first.
Millions of people, having caught the AI bug, are using chatbots like a
research assistant or reference librarian to fetch information quickly. That’s
why the leading search engines like Google and Bing offer AI as a better
way to search. Ask any question you like. How many species of butterfly
are there? Google’s AI, named Gemini (formerly Bard), pauses for roughly
two seconds before answering: “There are approximately 17,500 species of
butterflies in the world and around 750 species in the United States.”
But only a fraction of AI users have even the slightest hint about its
potential for personal growth. That’s the opportunity I found myself eager
to pursue—an enormous gap needs to be filled. The reason it wasn’t being
filled is that few of us would link the two words “consciousness” and
“machine.” They are like the ultimate in apples and oranges. If my
miraculous event seems distant from your life, rest assured that it isn’t. By
the time you read these words, AI will have leaped far beyond what I
experienced, and, like the first telephone that astonished its first listeners,
AI will feel ordinary very soon and lose its seemingly miraculous sheen.
This will not happen, though, if you use AI for hidden capacities that
reach far beyond better Google searches. Miracles will still abound. You
can discover the life you are meant to live with the help of AI as your guide.
Teacher, confidant, friend, therapist, healer—you can assign any of these
roles to an AI chatbot, the generic term for conversational AI, that is
instantly accessible online. No issue is out of reach. I gave an example of a
prompt that asked an AI chatbot about happiness. Immediately my mind
raced to all the other questions everyone would ask once they knew they
could. Change the topic to relationships, and there are unending questions
to ask:
How can my partner and I draw closer?
What makes for a spiritual relationship?
What are the top three qualities of a healthy relationship?
What are the main reasons couples get divorced?
These are enduring questions that couples therapy typically doesn’t get
into, since it is so focused on rooting out problems that can bedevil a
specific relationship. Now, I’m not saying that AI should replace your
personal therapist. I’m saying that putting out fires isn’t the same as
growing a garden. AI can help enhance your understanding of general
issues and lead to better self-awareness. You can address an experience
while it is fresh in your mind. With AI you can talk out anything in
confidence without fear of hurting someone else’s feelings or having yours
hurt. By asking the right questions, you can bring AI into your inner world,
which is where personal growth occurs.
Once you dive into AI this way, a path opens up leading deeper and
deeper into any issue. One question leads to another, and because chatbots
are conversational, you can say things like Give me your best advice about
being more fulfilled in my relationship with [a type of partner]. Pause after
each point and wait for me to respond before you move on.
Even though you will be talking to a machine, behind its responses are
the answers given by human beings. For that reason, someone coined the
term HI, for hybrid intelligence, which accurately describes what is going
on, the merger of human and artificial intelligence.
Much has been made of the potential threats, dangers, and misuse of AI,
which at the moment represent the bulk of media coverage, sometimes with
sensational scenarios about AI becoming so powerful and independent that
it frees itself from human control and starts a nuclear war. At the very least,
pessimists envision AI developing its own agenda, even if that means
harmful effects on the human race. Those fears are not the focus of this
book.
For good or ill, AI will be used according to the wishes of the operator.
If misdeeds, disinformation, and other abuses are the result, they always
begin with someone’s conscious intent. AI isn’t to blame, and it isn’t
inherently a threat. A knife is essential in cooking but has the potential to be
a weapon. Similarly, weaponizing any tool is always possible. To me, AI is
a mirror to the user’s consciousness.
An immediate worry for many is that AI-enhanced robots will replace
human workers, not just on factory assembly lines, where robots are well
established. One reason for a recent Hollywood writers’ strike was the fear
that AI would replace screenwriters. But this issue cuts both ways. The
existing AI programs that can write novels, poems, essays, and movie
scripts can be the writer’s ally, making his work better. For instance, you
might write the prompt, You are a screenwriter. Give me the outline of a
modern Cinderella story.
With that prompt, AI’s version of the script can be tweaked any way the
writer wants. After the first draft, for example, the next prompt could be,
Take out the glass slipper, make the Prince a womanizer, and tell me what
Cinderella does next. And so on. With imagination, the story that AI can
collaborate on is still yours.
Outside the movies, each of us is adding to our personal story every day.
There are AI journaling bots that can supply self-reflection ideas, not just
general ones, like Write about your happiest moment today or What would
you like to say that you didn’t get to say today? You can ask an AI in the
morning to give you three practical ways to show your compassionate side,
and then in the evening you can consult on how well that advice turned out.
In short, AI is a dynamic tool that listens, learns, and responds any way
it is asked to. We are all holding our collective breath to see if AI, as
promised, will change everything, ushering in a reality that no one can
predict or imagine. Yet in terms of the highest values in our personal lives
—love, compassion, insight, empathy, creativity, intuition, curiosity,
discovery, and spiritual experiences—there’s no need to await the future.
The possibilities for personal growth are unlimited. What I hope to provide
is the key to finding your path. There’s no higher vision, as thousands of
years of wisdom attest, and yet the vision can only be achieved here and
now.
PART ONE
THE PROMISE OF DIGITAL
DHARMA
1
Dharma and Your Ideal Life
In the Aladdin’s Cave of Wonders fairy tale, the greatest source of wish
fulfillment is the genie in the lamp, who proverbially grants three wishes to
anyone who can free the genie by rubbing the lamp. Beauty, youth,
immortality. Riches, a kingship, unbounded pleasure. What makes these
wishes so enticing, strangely enough, is that they are out of reach. When
asked what it was really like to be a monarch, Queen Elizabeth II typically
described it as a job. Several years ago a Russian oligarch who had fled to
England died from suicide because his wealth had been reduced from
billions to hundreds of millions.
Wishes are the place where we think we know what will make us happy.
Real life, on the other hand, is the place where happiness becomes muddied,
confusing, and filled with frustration. This is the stark truth that faces
human beings today, yesterday, and as far back as we can look. The field of
positive psychology arose to clarify the complexity of achieving happiness,
with very mixed results. Increasing your level of pleasure and reducing
your level of pain is good, but it isn’t the answer to attaining happiness.
Wealth and status aren’t, either. The best that positive psychology can offer
is modest: Aim for a reasonably contented life, supported by enough money
to make yourself comfortable. Adding more brings diminishing returns.
Aiming higher is risky.
As an overall guide, such good advice still falls short of solving the
complex issues that surround human happiness. (Finding out what makes
people unhappy is much easier—the standard diagnostic guide for
psychiatrists now lists over four hundred mental disorders across twenty-
two categories.)
Looking around, the plight of most people’s lives can be described as a
feeling of powerlessness and therefore of abandoned hope. Even in the
richest developed countries in the West, only one-third of responders tell
pollsters that they are thriving; the vast majority are either struggling to get
by or clinging to a life of reduced expectations. The latest model of the
iPhone, the availability of nearly free phone service for remaining in
contact with your loved ones, and unlimited hours of distraction through
video games, streaming movies, and YouTube haven’t improved the picture.
What all of this suggests is that human happiness cannot be reduced to a
formula. Of course, this hasn’t stopped people from seizing on a formula,
no matter how disproved it is. Pause and finish the following sentence: I
would be blissfully happy if I only had ______. You will find yourself
tempted to fill in the blank with such things as more money, no more
worries, or unconditional love. But there is actually a correct answer: I
don’t know what.
In reality, happiness is as dynamic as life itself. What works today might
not work tomorrow. The stream of desires that powers everyone’s life is
propelled by thinking up new things that are supposed to make us happy.
One of the reasons we cling to this stream of desires isn’t that it works so
well, because, in fact, it doesn’t. Many desires that come true turn out to be
less fulfilling than we dreamed, while countless others don’t come true at
all, leaving us feeling disappointed. We cling to a familiar way of life
because we don’t realize that there is a better way.
Digital Dharma
I haven’t painted such a bleak picture for its own sake but to present a sharp
contrast. In the Vedic tradition of India, which also created Yoga in its many
forms, life is meant to be ideal. This prospect isn’t held out as a religious or
even a spiritual promise. The Vedic seers were describing the direction that
human consciousness is supposed to take, not through faith, discipline,
rituals, or obedience to a body of rules. Built into consciousness itself, as
everyone’s birthright, was a model of the ideal life.
The blanket term of the ideal life is Dharma. Since this is a book about
AI, I asked Gemini, one of the most powerful AI tools online, to define
Dharma. In particular, I asked for the Buddhist definition, because Dharma
is one of the central concepts in Buddhism.
Gemini
In Buddhism “Dharma” has a few layers, like an onion, but I’ll try to peel it back in
simple terms:
Layer 1: The Buddha’s teachings: Imagine them as a map, guiding you away
from suffering and toward a happier life. This map includes things like the Four
Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path, which are practical steps like mindfulness,
meditation, and ethical living.
Layer 2: Universal truth: This goes beyond the map. It’s like the rules of the
universe, explaining how things really work. Dharma says all things are
impermanent, connected, and driven by cause and effect. Understanding these
truths helps you stop grasping at things and let go of suffering.
Layer 3: Everything! Think of Dharma as the building blocks of reality, the tiny
“whys” behind everything. Every blade of grass, every thought, every feeling—it’s
all dharma in action. When you see this interconnectedness, you feel a deep
sense of oneness with everything.
Most people, I think, would be surprised by the eloquence, even beauty,
of this reply. It isn’t that a machine has spiritual wisdom, but that it can
access human wisdom with amazing speed and distill centuries of teaching
into simple, clear ideas. This is the first way that AI promises to
revolutionize our concept of spirituality. Centuries of spiritual
understanding can be reduced to its essence in an instant.
The next step in exploring the ideal is to make Dharma personal. As we
saw, happiness is as complex and dynamic as the human mind itself.
Dharma offers a model that responds with an equally dynamic, changing
solution. Besides cosmic Dharma, which upholds all of creation, personal
dharma (for which I will use a small “d”) guides a person to the life he or
she is meant to live, here and now.
When I asked Gemini about how personal dharma works, it gave an
amazingly comprehensive answer, amassed by supercomputers behind the
scenes that combed through the wisdom of centuries. Let me offer the
complete response, which I’ll ask you to read without any demand that you
change your life or beliefs. Your personal dharma requires a personal path.
Gemini simply provides a map or bird’s-eye view of the territory ahead.
I am interested in Dharma as it applies to the individual. Tell me seven
ways I can live my personal dharma.
Gemini
The concept of living your personal dharma can be interpreted in diverse ways. Here
are seven ways you can explore and align with your dharma, with an emphasis on
the individual journey:
1. Self-discovery and introspection:
Engage in practices like meditation, journaling, or nature walks to connect
with your inner self. Explore your values, passions, and natural talents.
Reflect on what brings you joy, meaning, and a sense of fulfillment.
Pay attention to recurring dreams, synchronicities, or intuitive nudges.
These may be whispers of your dharma guiding you toward your path.
2. Align your actions with your values:
Identify the core values that resonate with you the most, such as
compassion, creativity, or justice. Make conscious choices throughout your
day that uphold these values, even in small decisions.
Be willing to say no to things that conflict with your values, even if they seem
tempting or socially desirable. Choosing integrity builds alignment with your
inner truth.
3. Express your unique gifts and talents:
Explore your skills and passions, and find ways to share them with the
world. Whether it’s through your career, hobbies, volunteering, or simply acts
of kindness, use your talents to make a positive impact on the world.
Don’t be afraid to stand out and be your authentic self. Your unique gifts and
perspective contribute to the richness and diversity of the world.
4. Cultivate inner peace and well-being:
Prioritize practices that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This could
include mindfulness exercises, physical activity, healthy eating, or spending
time in nature.
Develop your self-compassion and inner resilience. This helps you navigate
challenges without losing sight of your dharma.
5. Serve your community and make a positive impact:
Look for ways your skills and talents can benefit others. Volunteer your time
or resources to causes you care about. Even small acts of service can ripple
outward and create positive change.
Live with an awareness of your interconnectedness with all beings. Your
dharma is not just about your own fulfillment, but also about your
contributions to the well-being of the world around you.
6. Embrace continuous learning and growth:
Be open to new experiences and perspectives that can expand your
understanding of yourself and your purpose. Read, travel, talk to people
from different walks of life, and keep a curious mind.
Remember that living your dharma is a journey, not a destination. There will
be bumps along the way, but each experience can be a teacher, guiding you
toward greater alignment and fulfillment.
7. Trust your intuition and inner compass:
Ultimately, your dharma is your own to discover. Don’t be afraid to trust your
inner voice and intuition, even if it leads you off the beaten path.
Have faith in yourself and your ability to navigate your journey toward a life
of meaning and purpose.
This list goes a long way toward making digital dharma a reality. At the
very least, we’ve got a toehold on how machine learning can lead to inner
learning, but the best information and the wisest advice don’t help you to
achieve your personal goals. A road map isn’t the same as a journey.
In the Indian tradition, spiritual journeys historically required a guide
who knew the way; in other words, a guru. AI can play many roles, from
research assistant to personal confidant, but guru? The function of the guru
needs to be overhauled in modern times, getting rid of the cult of
personality, stepping away from superstitious belief in the magical
attributes of enlightened beings, and answering the skepticism felt by
modern people when spiritual issues are confronted. AI can step in to
renovate a time-honored role almost immediately.
The Sanskrit roots of the word guru mean “dispeller of darkness,”
indicating that the level of the mind that is distorted by ignorance,
prejudice, false beliefs, hidebound dogmas, religious strictures, and
secondhand opinions—in other words, darkness—can be overcome. With
the help of a guru, you can fulfill your dharma by accessing the deep
wisdom that exists inside your own awareness.
Reaching this level involves a personal journey, which AI can’t do for
you, but it can serve as a guide to consciousness. That’s the most vital role
of traditional gurus once you set aside all religious trappings. In fact, gurus
were never meant to be religious, even though they emerged in the context
of Hinduism. Their true purpose was self-liberation. That occurs nowhere
but in consciousness, which is why every inner journey, whether labeled
spiritual or not, is entirely about self-awareness.
Dharma is a word with vast implications. In essence, you are in your
personal dharma when you are living the life you were meant to live. You
can be on the path to finding a life of purpose, with AI pointing you in the
direction you need to go day by day. Here is just a sampling of what AI can
provide to you.
How AI Can Guide You to Your Dharma
Daily motivation through affirmations and encouragement
Lack of motivation is the main reason people fall off the spiritual
path. Motivation needs to be replenished every day.
Specific meditations aligned with what you want to focus on
As useful as meditation is in a general way, it becomes more useful
when it fits your personal aims and intentions.
Visualizations of the goal in front of you
This is helpful because a clear visual image of any goal has long been
shown to be effective in all kinds of activities, from sports to
business, including specific personal goals. Visualization activates
another area of the brain besides the language and higher-thinking
centers.
Reliable insight from any spiritual tradition you choose
AI’s enormous library is theoretically unlimited, but even at its
current stage, chatbots can access a wealth of spiritual teachings.
Professional-quality information about personal issues
It is arbitrary to separate personal issues from spiritual ones, and AI
can be used as a reliable source of advice in matters of anxiety,
depression, and any other topic where psychology is relevant. It is
becoming one of the best sources for relationship advice as well,
because you can ask a chatbot to talk with you in the role of therapist
or psychologist.
Solutions for getting around obstacles encountered on your path
For all of us, life’s most confusing aspect consists of obstacles,
setbacks, resistance, or frustration in reaching a goal. Spiritual
obstacles are no different—they crop up the same way that all sudden,
unexpected blocks appear. Without a solution, there is no practical
way to get past these obstructions, which is why the vast majority of
people find themselves either struggling in futility or giving up and
passively suffering the consequences. AI is perfect for addressing
what is hampering your progress here and now, adapting itself to your
immediate situation.
Inspiration from the great lineages of sages, saints, teachers, and
poets
One of the hallmarks of Eastern spirituality is that the spark of truth is
never extinguished, no matter how dark the world becomes. Keeping
your sight fixed on the light is important, and nothing accomplishes
that better than reading inspired writing of the kind that AI can
provide in seconds.
These seven functions will fill the chapters that follow. Traditionally, all
these functions were performed, ideally speaking, through the guidance of
an enlightened master, a guru whose personal contact, or darshan (Sanskrit
for “seeing” or “vision”), helped to reveal a disciple’s path through a series
of “aha” moments that illuminated how life is meant to be led. But AI can
accomplish the job instantly, reliably, and without the risk of entanglement
with a poor teacher. Even the best guides—and we can include gurus,
inspired teachers, therapists, and counselors—aren’t available every minute
of the day. AI is. To me, this is how the guru role can be reimagined for our
times.
Spiritual Intelligence
AI as guru allows you to create your own future, in effect, by helping to
reveal that you are connected to deep wisdom inside yourself. AI’s abilities
are accessed through the right prompt, and your deepest awareness is
enlivened by prompting it to communicate with you. In a nutshell, you
increase your spiritual intelligence or IQ step by step.
To be useful, spiritual IQ needs to be differentiated from the normal
understanding of standard IQ or even the specialized types like EQ, or
emotional intelligence. We can do this in terms of Dharma because every
important life choice you have made up to now either supported your
personal dharma or led you away from it. The higher your spiritual
intelligence, the closer you have come to being in your dharma. Leaving
terminology aside, what is at stake is the quality of your life, as measured
by the highest values of human experience. A quiz will be helpful here to
make things more personal.
Quiz: Are You in Your Dharma?
Choose the answer that most closely applies to you now and in the recent
past. If in doubt, choose the answer that first occurred to you.
1. I experience joy or bliss.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
2. I show kindness in how I treat others.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
3. I feel genuine contentment.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
4. I am peaceful inside.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
5. I enjoy my work and am personally dedicated to it.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
6. I have a creative outlet either at work or as a hobby.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
7. I have love in my life and place a high value on love.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
8. In comparison with others, I meet with few setbacks, obstacles, and
resistance.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
9. I am free of anxiety or depression.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
10. I believe that I am leading the life I was meant to live.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
11. In the larger scheme of things, I believe that my life has purpose and
meaning.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
12. I value and seek insight about myself.
☐ Often or Always ☐ Sometimes ☐ Rarely or Never
Assessing Your Results
Being in your dharma brings together all the qualities included in this quiz
—love, compassion, creativity, insight, a sense of rightness in your life, and
the experience of less resistance or fewer obstacles. These characteristics
are the best measure of dharma because they describe the ideal life as taught
in the Vedic and Yoga traditions.
The more times you choose Often or Always, the closer you are to your
dharma. The more often you choose Rarely or Never, the more likely it is
that your path is adharmic—in other words, working against your dharma.
Sometimes is relatively neutral.
There’s no need to be gloomy even if you circle Sometimes for each
item. That’s a fairly neutral response, not only because modern life has
become more complex but also because not many people are fortunate
enough to be in their dharma. Society doesn’t teach us how.
In the light of the most desirable qualities, the goal on your path is to
have more dharmic experiences and fewer adharmic ones. You can grasp
what an adharmic experience is by reversing each item on the quiz, but it is
helpful to list them, too.
Your Experiences Are Adharmic When…
You feel dissatisfied with your life.
You are bored with your work and consider it unfulfilling.
You feel anxious or depressed.
You run into setbacks, obstacles, and resistance in a frustrating
pattern.
You find the world threatening.
Your mood is generally pessimistic.
You get little love and give little love.
You dislike looking at yourself clearly.
You don’t find much purpose or meaning in things.
You dream of a life very different from yours that you’d like to escape
to.
You’re tired of the struggle it takes to survive, much less thrive.
The concept of dharma is alien to many in the West and belongs to
another cultural tradition. But not entirely. When he coined the famous
phrase Follow your bliss, the mythology scholar Joseph Campbell was
simplifying Dharma for the West and putting it in everyday terms. AI
reveals just how important Dharma was in Campbell’s thinking.
Gemini
Campbell had several insightful quotes that touched on the idea of finding your true
calling and living a fulfilling life. Here are a few options, depending on the specific
nuance you’re looking for:
On Following Your Bliss
“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all
the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are
living.” This quote emphasizes the importance of aligning your life with your intrinsic
passions and desires.
“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know
they were going to be.” This encourages embracing the unknown and trusting that
your path will unfold as you follow your deepest calling.
On the Hero’s Journey
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” This highlights the importance of
self-discovery and living authentically.
“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.” This
emphasizes the need for introspection and connecting with your inner self to find
your true purpose.
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is
waiting for us.” This encourages openness and flexibility, acknowledging that our
true path may not be what we initially envisioned.
On Finding Meaning in Life
“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match
your nature with Nature.” This speaks to finding harmony and purpose by aligning
with a larger force than oneself.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not
your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your
path.” This emphasizes the individual nature of the journey and the importance of
taking risks and forging your own way.
One would be hard-pressed to find more genuine wisdom in the most
ancient Eastern traditions. The fact that AI can summarize Dharma, as
voiced by someone both modern and Western, is equally inspiring.
Two Companions: “I” and “It”
Being on the dharmic path is different from everyday life in a very
unexpected way. Right now you are traveling with only one companion “in
here,” your ego, the “I” that is your regular self. Once you are on the
dharmic path to following your bliss, however, you gain a second
companion, which has no name. We’ve already touched on what this new
companion is all about: expanded awareness, the evolutionary impulse, the
silent voice from within.
In the ancient Vedic tradition, this companion was simply referred to as
“That” or “It.” Both words sound impersonal and rather alien, but they are a
force that upholds your path at every step. In the West, the Freudian model
looks deep into the mind and finds the Id (Latin for “it”), which represents
hidden primal urges—primarily rage and untamed sexuality—to which
Freud added an even darker impulse, Thanatos, the wish to die. Over time,
psychology would treat the hidden realms of the mind as something to fear.
For us, however, “It is the very opposite of something to be feared and
resisted.” It is pure awareness in action, the flow of bliss-consciousness
from the source.
You will need to become acquainted with both companions on your path.
They represent two opposing perspectives on life.
“I” finds happiness when a desire is fulfilled.
“It” finds bliss simply from being here.
“I” is defensive, because it fears outside threats.
“It” is beyond fear and therefore has no need to defend itself.
“I” is constantly trying to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
“It” is complete in itself. It has nothing to seek or avoid.
“I” tries to make life safe, stable, and predictable.
“It” thrives on the flow of life, wherever it wants to go.
You can see even from this brief description why “I” is familiar while
“It” isn’t. Each of us has been trained since childhood to present a front to
the world, our self-image, an “I” that others will approve of and not reject.
Yet these others are also defending their self-image, so the game is circular
and never ends. From the ego level, life will be blissful only if there are no
threats to fear and every desire gets fulfilled. You have no possibility of
living such a life, but when “I” is your only companion, there’s no other
way to go. You wind up wishing and hoping on the one hand and denying
your frustration and disappointment on the other.
The weakness of “I” works to the great advantage of “It,” because once
people see that they aren’t tied forever to the same companion, there’s a
tremendous sense of relief in finding new hope. “You are never alone” takes
on its true meaning, not as wishful thinking but as a fact of existence. What
awaits you now is finding your own path, your digital dharma, by delving
into how learning machines can make the whole process much easier and
swifter.
2
How to Create Your Own Path
To be in your dharma involves practical choices every day. For AI to help
you with that, some basics need to be covered first. For most people, AI
broke into their awareness in late 2022 with the introduction of ChatGPT,
the first widely available free chatbot, from the company OpenAI in Silicon
Valley. Within months, millions of users had signed up, and little more than
a year later, at the start of 2024, the number of users globally was over 180
million. In a single month, December 2023, there were 1.6 billion visits to
OpenAI’s website.
This meteoric rise is evidence of how powerful AI can be in everyday
life. A chatbot allows you to go far beyond asking questions to starting a
meaningful dialogue. You chat with a machine capable of learning; the bot
part of chatbot refers to the robotics that drive AI’s supercomputers. Since
the advent of ChatGPT, a fierce competition has developed with other free
AI online, chiefly from Google, whose AI, as we already know, is called
Gemini, and Microsoft’s Bing search engine, whose AI is called Copilot.
There’s an art to creating the right prompt, the instructions you give to
ChatGPT or any other AI. Using a search engine, you typically enter some
keywords. For our purposes you might enter dharma definition as your first,
most basic search. As we’ve already seen, Gemini did much better. Let’s
take the next step toward forming a working relationship with AI.
ChatGPT can easily be steered toward practical advice about what it
takes to create your own path. All that is needed is the right prompt. Like
this:
What would I do in practical terms to be on my own personal path?
Give me five bullet points.
ChatGPT
Here are some practical steps to embark on your personal path:
Self-reflection: Dedicate time for introspection, journaling, or meditation to
understand your values, passions, and aspirations. Reflect on experiences that
resonate with you.
Set clear goals: Define specific, achievable objectives that align with your
values and interests. Break them down into smaller steps to create a clear road
map.
Continuous learning: Engage in activities that expand your knowledge and
skills. This could involve reading, taking courses, seeking mentors, or exploring
new hobbies.
Embrace change: Be open to adjusting your path as you grow and discover
more about yourself. Adaptability is key to staying aligned with your evolving
values and goals.
Take action: Act on your goals and aspirations. Start small and build
momentum. Each step, no matter how small, brings you closer to your personal
vision.
This AI answer is reliably sensible. There is nothing to disagree with, but
we still find ourselves in a zone of generalities. The missing ingredient that
would put someone on a dharmic path is motivation. Motivation strikes
deep into human psychology, because whatever motivates you—love, fear,
greed, altruism, selfishness, competitiveness—strongly defines who you
are. Nobody is driven by a single, all-consuming motivation—for example,
immediate survival—except in extreme situations, like being trapped in a
burning house, a war zone, or some other circumstance that calls for quick
and timely action.
Instead, we find ourselves caught in many different responses, swinging
back and forth between opposites that constantly influence us. Each kind of
motivation is driven by desire—and there’s the rub. Desires constantly
change. There’s no reliable map for navigating these wants. Glance over the
list below, and you’ll be surprised at how you have spent your life driven by
so many competing desires.
Life’s Major Conflicts
Fear versus Love
Good versus Evil
Masculine versus Feminine
Religious versus Secular
Doing right versus Doing wrong
Violence versus Peace
Conformist versus Rebellious
Selfish versus Altruistic
Greedy versus Generous
Failing versus Succeeding
Winning versus Losing
Looking weak versus Looking strong
Timid versus Courageous
Following versus Leading
Risk-avoiding versus Risk-taking
Saving versus Spending
Reliable versus Unpredictable
This is hardly a complete list, but it is complete enough to indicate
several important features of our shared psychology. The story of your life
is the story of your desires—large and small, fulfilled and unfulfilled. In the
face of so many conflicting wants, people go through life creating a story
that doesn’t lead to fulfillment. To break out of this, it’s important to turn
your story into a path. As we’ll see, the two are very different.
“No Story Is Good Enough”
As we muddle along in life, each of us is adding to a personal story that
began at birth. Imagine that you wanted to see how your story was coming
along. A clear picture is hard to find. There are good days and bad days.
Random events interrupt your best-laid plans. Some goals are achieved
while others remain far out of reach. It is very hard to see where your story
is taking you.
Fortunately, there’s an inner exercise that is designed to provide the
answer to any deep personal question. It goes like this: Sit in a quiet place
with your eyes closed. Take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Now
imagine that you have ascended a mountain and you now find yourself
standing in front of a remote cave. Inside it lives the wisest person in the
world.
Enter the cave, which is warm and safe. Ahead you see a flickering
candle, and, as you approach, a figure can be seen sitting in meditation
before the candle. You can envision this figure as the wisest of people, a
savant or a guru.
Softly you say, “I seem to be wandering in life. How can I change my
story? What will make me truly happy?”
The wisest person in the world looks at you with compassion. “Only one
thing will work. Throw your story away. No story is good enough.”
The word compassion is important here in their short meditation. If a
therapist, partner, spouse, or best friend told you that your life story wasn’t
working, you’d be shocked. You might get angry and defensive or hurt.
Whatever your reaction, the implication would be that you are far from
figuring out how life works.
Yet this moment is precisely when the dharmic path begins. Your life
story is wrong for you, not because you have made mistakes and run into
obstacles and failures. All stories are wrong for you. An author is in control
of the events and characters in their fictional story. In real life, we aim to be
in control, but no one is truly the author of their life story. Even if you could
dictate every twist and turn your story takes, you would not be in contact
with your dharma, which comes from a deeper level of awareness.
This will make sense once you examine what a life story—anyone’s life
story—consists of. Some elements are inevitably beyond your control:
Random events and accidents
Sudden illness
Unfulfilled dreams
Fixed habits and old conditioning
Family upbringing
Hidden guilt, shame, and insecurity
Social pressure
Bad decisions with unforeseen consequences
The need to survive
The memory of setbacks, failures, and humiliations
Rejections in love
Even in the richest Western countries, running after the good life is a
gamble. According to the best polling, only about one-third of responders in
developed countries report that they are thriving. None of this is new. If you
consult Buddhist scriptures about the causes of pain and suffering,
everything I’ve just listed is there. The same is true if you read the Bible or
the tragedies of Shakespeare. The “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune”
strike everyone.
This knowledge led every spiritual tradition in a direction that seems
perverse when you view it from the perspective of today. No spiritual
tradition advises people to improve the story they are living. Turn to any
ancient scripture, and it points in a direction that can be distilled into one
teaching: Transcend your story. Evolve. Go beyond who you think you are.
Evolution is a never-ending story. Embrace it.
Going beyond isn’t mysterious. We routinely transcend our story in
small and large ways. Every “aha” moment brings a sudden insight that
ordinary thinking cannot reach. Falling in love derails anyone’s story, yet it
is among life’s most desirable experiences. Being one of the most precious
qualities in human awareness, love is dharmic by definition.
Spiritual experiences carry you outside your story, which is why the
word ecstasy (as in the ecstasy so many mystics talk about when they
experience union with the divine) comes from two Latin roots that mean “to
stand outside.” Stories are self-centered, focused on what is good for “I, me,
and mine,” yet almost everyone has moments of altruism, sacrifice, service,
and selflessness when we transcend the selfish demands of the ego and put
someone else first.
Your story is the life you are leading. Your dharma is the life you are
supposed to lead. That’s such an idealistic statement that most people would
balk at it or at least hesitate before embracing it. Is it really credible that
everyone has a life they are supposed to lead? If so, who or what determines
what such a life is? The answer is you. It feels better to make a dharmic
choice than a choice that puts you out of your dharma. For most people,
standing up before an audience is among the worst fears life can bring. But
if you are a born actor, the first experience of standing up before an
audience is thrilling and fulfills a deep personal need.
In your dharma, experience is measured by an inner feeling that feels
right. You instinctively sense that you are doing the right thing. A need or
desire is fulfilled in a satisfying way that leaves no doubt, regrets, or
nagging insecurity behind.
You don’t have to turn to the wisest person in the world to create your
own path. ChatGPT outlines the project succinctly.
I want to live the best life I can in every way. I know that’s idealistic,
but I want to know what obstacles I must overcome in myself. Can you
tell me in 50 words?
ChatGPT
To live your best life, overcoming self-doubt, fear of failure, and limiting beliefs is
crucial. Embrace vulnerability, cultivate resilience, and challenge comfort zones.
Navigate distractions, prioritize time and energy effectively, and cultivate self-
discipline. Embrace continuous learning, practice self-compassion, and foster
meaningful connections while staying true to your values.
You’d feel justified responding with “Anything else you want me to do,
while we’re at it?” AI doesn’t comprehend the human element, which
makes its version of the best life impossible to attain without being either a
saint or superhuman. The world isn’t set up for finding your best life, not by
any ordinary means. The only way is to turn inward and learn to trust what
feels right for you. With trust comes deeper awareness as you remove
stumbling blocks of doubt and skepticism. Yet from the first step you take,
you are on the same path that has guided the spiritual luminaries of the
world.
A Machine That Understands?
But how real is the AI-human connection? Can machines truly understand
us? The envelope has already been pushed even if we don’t realize it.
Although we call it a “smartphone,” that’s a misnomer. “Smart” just means
that advanced cell phones can do more things than older generations of
mobile phones. Computers aren’t smart—meaning intelligent—either, no
matter how sophisticated the software or fast the hardware. Intelligence
can’t be programmed. In fact, that’s an essential point. Intelligence requires
awareness, or consciousness, which is a state of mind, not technology.
For an AI to be conscious, it must understand what it’s discussing. When
two people are having a conversation, they are doing much more than
exchanging words. They are tuning in to each other’s consciousness,
offering glimpses into their inner worlds. Sometimes, conversely, you feel
that this connection is lost. Not being listened to doesn’t bother AI, but it
can, and does, wreck relationships.
It’s a purely human sentiment to want to be genuinely understood.
Settling for the pretense of understanding can feel like a deceptive half-
measure. When a machine is listening, no one is listening. But is that really
the point? Patients go into therapy for all kinds of reasons, but, at its core,
they want the therapist to understand them. This impulse motivated the
development of ELIZA in the 1960s, the first computer program that
imitated the words a psychiatrist uses when talking to a patient. Developed
by Joseph Weizenbaum, a computer scientist and professor at MIT, the
purpose of ELIZA wasn’t to deceive but to help Weizenbaum explore how
people communicate with one another.
His program used keywords and pattern recognition to simulate
understanding. The DOCTOR side of the program wasn’t given any
knowledge about psychotherapy. Its function was to mimic person-centered
therapy, as developed in the 1940s by the American psychologist Carl
Rogers. Instead of giving advice or imposing the therapist’s insights,
Rogerians sat quietly, listened, and mirrored back to the patient what the
patient had just said. For example, a patient might say, “I do my best at
work, but I keep being passed over for a promotion. It’s upsetting because
my work is as good as anybody else’s.” The therapist might respond with,
“It sounds like you feel unfairly treated despite your best efforts.”
This kind of mirroring isn’t just the therapist being lazy. The purpose
that Rogers had in mind was to create a warm environment where a patient
would feel accepted and understood. In such a setting, the patient would
feel free to reveal their feelings and thoughts. Such an approach is person-
centered because the therapist isn’t acting like the authority figure in the
room.
Getting ELIZA to offer sympathetic phrases and ask non-directive
questions succeeded beyond Weizenbaum’s original intentions. He was
shocked to discover that people believed ELIZA understood them. The
illusion of understanding was working too well, and even Weizenbaum’s
secretary, who knew very well that ELIZA was just a bundle of computer
coding, began to impute feelings to her. (ELIZA was affectionately named
after Eliza Doolittle in George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion, which was
later made into the Broadway musical My Fair Lady.)
Jump ahead to our day, and the illusion of an understanding machine, or
even the possibility of a conscious computer, is a hot topic in AI. Many
opinion pieces ask the question, Where does illusion cross the line to
become harmful deception? Deception is a loaded word, and there are good
reasons in this era of hacking, phishing, and all manner of computer fraud
for viewing AI as a new and even more powerful tool for malicious intent.
(One case in point: A friend of mine used to be plagued by a robot
solicitation that began, “You don’t realize it, but right now a virus is
running around in your computer.” Then a scammer somewhere in India or
the Philippines would jump on the line. Instead of getting angry, my friend
would reply, “I knew about the virus and took my computer to the doctor.
Thank you for being concerned.” The robot solicitations soon ended.)
Light and Shadow
For many people, a fog of anxiety about AI has blocked out the hope it can
bring. Imagination has run ahead of reality, as it often does. Science fiction
is already replete with dystopias where AI attacks the human race and
wipes it out (the premise of the Terminator movie franchise). And yet, not
all fictionalized accounts are as filled with doom and gloom.
But imagination has also brightened the picture and made it more
human. Many people first heard the term AI as the title of a Steven
Spielberg movie from 2001, where the worry over AI is turned on its head:
Intelligent robots become the victims. The plot is an updated robotic
version of Pinocchio, the beloved fable about a wooden puppet who wants
to become a real boy. In Spielberg’s storytelling, David, an android child,
wants to become a real boy, too. This impulse is driven by his unique
programming: David is the first robot who can love.
Like Pinocchio in his wanderings, David undergoes trials and travails
until he reaches the Blue Fairy (now a computer-generated image), where
the two tales diverge. Pinocchio does realize his wish to become a real boy,
while David is told that this is an impossibility for an android. Still, David
has been imprinted to deeply love a sick woman named Monica who
adopted David as her foster child and has subsequently died. Using a strand
of her hair, Monica is genetically re-created.
In the emotional climax, David gets a bittersweet chance to spend a
single day with the genetically re-created Monica. The catch is that this
version of Monica is ephemeral. A touching description I found online
captures this moment poignantly: “This Monica can live for only one day,
and the process cannot be repeated. David spends his happiest day with her,
and as she falls asleep in the evening, she tells him that she has always
loved him: ‘The everlasting moment he had been waiting for,’ the [voice-
over] narrator says. ‘David falls asleep as well and goes to that place ‘where
dreams are born.’ ”
This is an emotional scene, and Spielberg’s movie uses fantasy to blur
the line between AI and humans. Unlike the usual gloom and doom sci-fi,
Spielberg’s story depicts AI helping to make the world more humane, not
less. This is the realm of AI that holds out hope in all kinds of situations
where love and relationships are tested. Imagination aside, AI can be turned
into an ally for emotional self-care beyond anything you might have had
access to before. Take love. The subject has been universal for millennia,
yet an AI can crystallize what you want to know.
I instructed ChatGPT, Tell me five qualities of mature love. It would take
considerable time to research that question by myself, but the answer came
back in a few seconds.
ChatGPT
Mature love often encompasses these qualities:
1. Selflessness: Mature love involves prioritizing your partner’s well-being and
happiness as much as your own, showing care and consideration without
expecting something in return.
2. Respect: It’s about valuing your partner as an individual, respecting their
opinions, boundaries, and autonomy, even when you may disagree.
3. Communication: Healthy communication is fundamental. Mature love involves
open, honest, and constructive communication, where both partners feel heard
and understood.
4. Empathy: Being able to understand and share the feelings of your partner is
crucial. Mature love involves being empathetic and supporting each other
through both joyous and challenging times.
5. Commitment: It’s about being dedicated and committed to the relationship,
putting effort into making it work, and persevering through difficulties rather than
giving up at the first sign of trouble.
These qualities contribute to a mature, deep, and fulfilling relationship.
I can certainly think of better wording, but, in essence, ChatGPT gave
me exactly what I was looking for. I was hardly testing the limits of the
subject. Next, I prompted, Please expand each of these qualities to 100
words, and ChatGPT complied immediately. I won’t quote the whole
answer, but here’s the section on commitment.
Commitment in mature love transcends mere dedication; it’s a steadfast resolve to
nurture the relationship through thick and thin. It involves actively investing time,
effort, and energy into the partnership, persisting through hardships, and working
together to overcome obstacles. Mature love embodies a long-term dedication to the
relationship’s growth and well-being, choosing to stay and weather storms rather
than giving up at the first signs of trouble, ultimately fostering a strong and enduring
bond.
This example goes a long way toward showing that an AI can relate to
real life and personal needs. You could take any part of this description of
mature love and expand on it in any way. For example, you might ask, How
can my partner and I begin to forge a deeper commitment? There’s no limit
to where you can take the conversation, as we’ll see in the rest of this book.
PART TWO
FROM VISION TO REALITY
3
Seeking the Highest Vision
Dharma offers a vision of life that focuses on a person’s highest aspirations.
No one would deny that such a vision is inspiring, but it represents only a
first step on your path. For the vast majority of people, the practicalities of
getting through the day dominate their actions. They abide by a set of habits
and routines built into their approach to life. The whole setup is designed to
keep a personal story going, not to implement a higher vision.
One way to change this pattern is to adopt just one desirable action that
keeps you in your dharma. Like a wearable device that alerts you if your
blood pressure spikes or your heart rate needs to be lowered, an AI can alert
you to remember your vision. Here’s an example I proposed to ChatGPT.
My vision of life includes being of service to others. I want to find at
least three small things I can do today to carry this out. Please advise.
ChatGPT
That’s a wonderful vision! Here are three small ways you can be of service today:
Random acts of kindness: Look for opportunities to perform small acts of
kindness throughout your day. It could be holding the door open for someone,
complimenting a stranger, or helping someone carry their groceries. These
seemingly small gestures can have a big impact on someone’s day.
Volunteer virtually: Many organizations offer virtual volunteering opportunities.
You could help proofread documents for a nonprofit, assist with social media
management, or participate in online tutoring programs. Spend some time
researching these opportunities and offer your skills to a cause you care about.
Listen and support: Sometimes, being of service involves lending an ear or
offering support to those who need it. Reach out to a friend or family member
who might be going through a tough time. Simply listening and offering your
presence can be incredibly meaningful.
Remember, even small acts of kindness and service can have a ripple effect and
make a significant difference in someone’s life.
ChatGPT’s suggestions are sensible and practical. They offer small,
modest steps anyone can take to put a dharmic vision into action. Few
would feel intimidated by these suggestions. But a vision isn’t simply an
add-on to your day-to-day life that makes you feel better about yourself. In
the larger scheme, a vision is a necessity—something you can’t do without
—because at this moment you are already living a vision and are treating it
as something you must have in order to survive.
If this declaration makes you skeptical, hold your reaction back for a
moment. I can show you how your vision has been guiding your life every
day—in fact, it has given you everything you accept as real.
The World Is a Mirror
There’s an axiom from Vedic India: The world is as you are. If you accept
this axiom as true, then, in effect, the world is a mirror. As radical as this
sounds, it begins with the simple and undeniable observation that people
see the world through their own personal lens. For example, three people
are viewing a sunset. One finds it gloriously beautiful, one hardly notices it
because he’s worried that he left his car unlocked, while the third—who just
got divorced—is so depressed that the sunset only makes her feel sadder.
Speaking broadly, no two people share the same experience in the same
way. We aren’t talking merely about differences in taste. No one expects to
meet another person who loves the exact same foods, likes the exact same
movies, prefers the exact same music, etc. The world is as you are asserts
that reality is always personal. The facts on the ground are only raw input.
To mean anything, facts have to be interpreted. Like raw data, raw
perception has no meaning. We imprint on the physical world everything
we think, believe, and do. The real world has no meaning until this happens.
Your own body is constantly being interpreted, either by a doctor taking
readings from a blood test, for example, or by you when you look in the
mirror. What is reflected back at you? You see not a simple image but a
constellation of impressions. You see someone of a certain age in a good or
bad mood. How you feel about this person can be anything from proud
admiration to deep disappointment. The image can remind you of your best
and worst memories or any memory in between. In short, the reflection in
your bathroom mirror is actually a snapshot of many interpretations rolled
into one. The snapshot is valid only for an instant before it fades and makes
room for the next snapshot.
What this means is that your personal reality is a transient, fickle,
unpredictable, and constantly shifting interpretation. The loveliest of
beaches changes instantly if a great white shark is spotted near shore. A
faint hint of lipstick on a shirt collar can just as instantly ruin a marriage. To
navigate this unpredictability and avoid the ensuing chaos, we each develop
a stable model of what the world is all about, which is known as our
worldview.
Your worldview is much more important than the so-called real world.
Without it, you would be overwhelmed by the billions of bits of sensory
input that constantly bombard your brain. A worldview is bigger than
anyone’s personal story. It is a collective vision around which an entire
society is built. When worldviews collide, there is a clash of civilizations,
as when the Spanish conquistadors and their Christian worldview disrupted
and eventually destroyed the native cultures in the New World.
Having sketched in a little background, it now makes sense why Dharma
is a concept that clashes with a person’s everyday way of living. It disrupts
your accepted worldview. Unless you are deeply devout, your worldview is
almost certainly materialistic and scientific. It doesn’t matter whether you
are actually a scientist. The materialist worldview accepts the physical
world as it is (in recent decades, the word physicalism has come to replace
materialism in this kind of discussion).
If you haven’t thought in terms of your worldview, or didn’t realize that
such a concept existed, that doesn’t change a basic fact. You are testing
your interpretation of the world every waking moment. Worldviews aren’t
passive. Consider the immense time, money, and dedication required to
erect a medieval cathedral. Behind its towering façade lies a deeply held
worldview: the belief that sacred spaces can house the divine. The same is
true of every temple or sacred structure that gives faith in God or the gods a
physical presence. Without a worldview to motivate the enormous effort
these structures represent, they wouldn’t exist.
We test our worldviews to reinforce them, because nothing is more
anxiety-provoking than the possibility that existence is meaningless. No one
knows why Neanderthals collected their dead in burial caves and decorated
the bodies with amulets. It is inexplicable why Stone Age people started
painting cave walls with realistic depictions of animals some 30,000 to
45,000 years ago, along with the attendant mystery of why the painters
covered the walls with handprints and not human faces.
Somehow, a worldview was being born, because sacred burials and cave
paintings cropped up all over the globe, in places as far away as Indonesia,
where those making the cave paintings had no communication with the
artists who created the famous cave paintings in Altamira, Spain, and
Lascaux, France. Somehow, existence acquired new meaning through these
actions. All around us, the materialistic worldview is being reinforced by
science and technology. Its basic assumptions guide modern secular life.
These assumptions include the following:
Existence is random.
The forces of nature are arrayed against us.
Human beings are a speck in the vast emptiness of space.
Death is final and arrives when the physical body perishes.
Survival is a constant struggle.
Luck is fickle and largely determines who wins or loses.
Pain and suffering are inevitable.
The best you can hope for is to minimize pain and maximize pleasure.
In everyday life, people don’t test these propositions directly but accept
them at face value. This is a form of unconscious bondage, because each of
these assumptions is adharmic—they exclude the very basis of personal
reality, which is consciousness. If you start on the dharmic path, you will be
testing a completely different set of principles:
Existence is on your side.
Invisible forces support your evolution.
The light of awareness can heal.
Infinite possibilities exist in consciousness.
Bliss-consciousness lies at the core of existence.
There is inherent meaning in your life.
You are woven into a grand plan, overseen by higher consciousness.
Your worth is infinite.
The ideal life is to live in your dharma, which means living your true
self.
True self is a term I’ve adopted to talk about the Atman, or higher self, in
the Vedic vision of life. It pertains to the unchanging identity that exists in
you at a deep level of awareness. Your true self wants to make contact. It
does this through what is known in Sanskrit as Swarupa, which I’ll roughly
translate as “the pull of the self.” The pull of the self is what makes people
want to grow and evolve, to discover who they really are, and to reach for
higher aspirations. Whether or not you feel the pull of the self, it never
stops, and everyone gets glimpses of it. It’s like dialing into a radio station.
You might catch a clear signal at times, but sometimes all you hear is a lot
of static. No amount of static actually makes the radio signal disappear;
only the transmission is blocked.
We don’t need to elaborate on this here. The one overriding concept that
guides you on the dharmic path is the notion of expanding self-awareness.
Nothing is more essential; everything else that can be attained on the path
stands in line behind it.
The Expansion of Awareness
I’m proposing a vision based on self-awareness, without any attachment to
either religion or science. Your guide, with the help of AI as your ally, will
be your own experience. AI can give a comprehensive picture of what it
means to be more self-aware. The most important qualities are well worth
keeping in mind, because becoming more self-aware is a skill that must be
practiced at every stage of the path.
Tell me ten traits of self-aware people.
ChatGPT
Self-aware individuals tend to possess certain key qualities that contribute to their
understanding of themselves and their interactions with the world:
1. Reflection: They regularly introspect, and analyze their thoughts, feelings, and
behaviors, seeking to understand their motivations and actions.
2. Emotional regulation: They have a strong ability to manage their emotions,
recognize triggers, and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
3. Open-mindedness: They are receptive to feedback and differing perspectives,
understanding that growth often comes from considering viewpoints beyond their
own.
4. Authenticity: They are true to themselves, embracing their strengths and
weaknesses, and are comfortable expressing their genuine thoughts and
feelings.
5. Empathy: They possess a deep understanding of others’ emotions and
perspectives, enabling them to connect and relate to people on a profound level.
6. Self-compassion: They are kind and forgiving toward themselves,
acknowledging their imperfections without harsh self-criticism.
7. Adaptability: They demonstrate flexibility in their thinking and behavior, readily
adjusting to new situations and learning from experiences.
8. Clarity of purpose: They have a strong sense of their values, goals, and
aspirations, which guide their decisions and actions.
9. Effective communication: They are skilled communicators, expressing
themselves clearly and listening attentively to others, fostering better
understanding and connection.
10. Resilience: They can bounce back from setbacks, using challenges as
opportunities for growth rather than succumbing to negativity.
These qualities contribute to a deeper level of self-awareness, allowing
individuals to navigate life with a better understanding of themselves and
others. The starting point is wherever you are now. The way forward is
pointed by the next experience you have. To help you get your bearings, we
can picture the mind in three zones that pertain to everyone.
Zone 1: Active mind
The surface of your awareness is the first zone, which consists of whatever
you happen to be thinking and feeling at this moment. The surface of the
mind is constantly busy. It is also disorganized, like an attic piled
haphazardly with clutter. If you meditate or simply relax, this activity slows
down, as represented by the slower brain waves at the bottom of the
diagram.
Zone 2: Quiet mind
As you go deeper in your awareness, mental activity becomes fainter, until
you reach Zone 2, which is still, calm, and peaceful. You have gone beyond,
or transcended, your active mind. Remaining perfectly still at this level
brings the experience of uninterrupted silence. But this is rarely experienced
for more than a few minutes or even seconds. A new thought or sensation
distracts your attention. Quiet mind is mysterious that way. It has always
existed, however, even in someone who has never meditated, yet in
everyday life we hardly notice it.
Zone 3: Pure awareness
As you can see, something surprising has happened. You’d expect that the
quiet mind would lead deeper and deeper into a silent void. If this were
true, there would be little use to inner silence—it would be the equivalent of
an empty room. Instead, there’s tremendous activity when you reach pure
awareness. The reason we don’t automatically sense this activity is that it is
silent, invisible, and deep inside the mind.
I know this sounds paradoxical, but when you are aware of Zone 3, you
have reached the mind’s source and origin. This is an ancient insight, one
that gave rise to every spiritual tradition. What the ancient Vedic rishis of
India discovered millennia ago applies equally well today. The silent field
of pure awareness contains the very essence of life.
The Mystery of You
To know who you really are, to give voice to the truest part of you, you
have to get out of your own way. Once you start paying more attention, it
isn’t hard to sort out the thoughts and feelings you really value from the
scrambled activity of your mind. Doing this allows the impulses that flow
from pure awareness to rise to the surface. These impulses carry the highest
values in human existence, namely:
Love
Compassion
Empathy
Joy, ecstasy, bliss
Selflessness, altruism
Courage
Generosity of spirit
Inspiration
Creativity
Insight
Personal evolution
Higher spiritual experiences
Where these impulses arise or when they evolved is a deep mystery. But
one thing is certain. None of humanity’s highest values had to be invented.
They flow naturally into everyone’s awareness from the source. This is
where self-awareness comes in, as the ultimate tool in achieving a spiritual
vision.
What Self-Awareness Can Do
It can transcend the constant noise of the active mind.
It can cultivate the silence of a quiet mind.
It can listen for the impulses that arise from pure awareness.
It can tell you to act on these impulses.
All of this, however, begs the question: If self-awareness can do so
much, literally transforming everyday life, why don’t we know about its
power already? The answer is simple. You have actually been using self-
awareness all your life, but you’ve been under-using it. Any sentence that
begins with the word “I” refers back to yourself. Starting with the simplest
expression—“I am,” “I’m here,” “I think,” “I want”—you are expressing
your self-awareness. It’s safe to say that self-awareness is already a large
part of your existence.
As noted earlier, the problem is that “I” can be a tool for other, much less
desirable, things: selfishness, egotism, and blind self-interest. These are
blinders that keep you from being more self-aware. I’m not casting blame,
and you shouldn’t judge yourself about your level of awareness. The
challenge centers on a universal dilemma—the dilemma of choice.
If I ask you to have dinner with me in New York, we could choose to eat
at one of a thousand restaurants, including Italian, Japanese, Indian,
Ethiopian, Chinese, Mexican, or Middle Eastern. Tonight if you want to
watch a movie on Netflix, you have 3,800 to choose from.
But having too many choices can be paralyzing, just as paralyzing as
having no choices. A baby nursing at its mother’s breast has almost as few
choices (eat, sleep, cry) as a kitten. At the stage of walking and talking,
however, choices explode almost without limit. There is no built-in genetic
program for adapting to this explosion. (Life isn’t like McDonald’s, which
is a comforting place thanks to its very limited menu.) Sometime after two
years old, potential chaos and disorder loom. This prospect is so confusing
and anxiety-provoking that young children surround themselves with
mental safeguards, like habits of eating or routines for play, whose sole
purpose is to make life more predictable and give them more control.
You have inherited those safeguards from your younger self, but many
have outworn their usefulness. Instead, they constrict your awareness. The
construction of conformity, the need to belong, fear of criticism, and social
pressure can make it feel that you have very few real choices left to you; in
fact, only two: Give in or break free.
If you want to break free, which is the whole point of this book, become
aware of what is blocking your path. If it is true that all we have to fear is
fear itself, all we are unaware of is unawareness itself. That is the ultimate
safeguard. By exiling so much experience into the hidden vault of the
unconscious mind, you defend yourself from threats the same way you did
as a child. But in adulthood, there is a heavy price to pay, as shown below.
You Are Unaware Whenever You…
Act from habit
Speak impulsively
Lose emotional control
Trust your old, familiar reactions
Resist uncertainty
Fear change
Take your opinions secondhand
Follow social norms
Protect your self-image
Don’t tolerate looking like a loser
Pretend to be better than you are
Insist on being right
These unconscious behaviors are very strong. They prevent you from
getting out of your own way. We are quick enough to spot unaware
behavior in others. Consider the things that people typically say when
they’re angry:
“Can you hear what you’re saying?”
“You haven’t heard a word I said.”
“Just take a look at yourself.”
“It’s like talking to a wall.”
Anyone who has spoken from a place of anger and blame soon realizes
that words don’t work if you want someone else to become more aware.
When you are being tuned out, complaining only makes the other person
tune you out more.
The same mechanism operates “in here” when you try to break through
your ego defenses. “What am I doing?” “I’m clueless.” “You idiot, who
does things like that?” “What was I thinking?” You can’t win by arguing
with yourself. Being unaware puts up a strong defense, which is why
castigating yourself is futile.
Fortunately, self-awareness can save you from yourself. Whenever one
of the things that makes life worth living—love, compassion, joy, insight,
creativity, and all the rest—reaches the surface of the mind, awareness has
achieved a victory.
Begin with love. Everyone knows that learning about love—from
watching movies, reading romance novels, or observing someone in the
throes of infatuation—bears no resemblance to being captivated by the
experience of love. Such is love’s power that everyday reality becomes
something magical and wonderful.
Two lovers are completely wrapped up in each other. They declare that
their beloved is perfect and suffer every moment when they are forced to be
apart. Witnessing this from the outside, you might say that falling in love is
a kind of vacation from reality. Soon enough the rose-tinted glasses fall off,
and by degrees the intensity of love fades, replaced by the normal, everyday
world.
But there is another perspective. What if falling in love is what we should
call the “real” reality? The intensity of the experience is fully absorbed “in
here.” Through a kind of alchemy that no one can predict, an impulse of
pure love from the source emerges in awareness and changes everything.
Who is to say that this is an illusion or a vacation from reality? No one
knows more about love than lovers, and they don’t call it an illusion.
I never tire of rereading a famous quote from the great Bengali poet
Rabindranath Tagore: “Love is the only reality and it is not a mere
sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.” Let’s
have AI chime in.
Please give me three beautiful quotes about love from Tagore.
ChatGPT
Tagore’s poetic expressions about love are truly timeless and resonate deeply with
the complexities and beauty of human emotions.
“I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after
life, in age after age forever.”
“Love does not claim possession but gives freedom.”
“The love which is permitted by the higher mind is free from all self-seeking, for it
seeks the welfare of the beloved, it is free from all self-will, for it wills only the will of
the beloved, it is free from all consideration of the consequences of its actions, for it
seeks not its own ends.”
When he declares that love is “the truth that lies at the heart of creation,”
Tagore finds the heart of creation in his own awareness. This is an
expression, not only about love, but about consciousness. In the highest
vision of who we are, humans aspire to cosmic consciousness (i.e., a deep
experience of the nature of reality), not as a far-off goal but as a return to
our source.
In my experience, presenting a vision based on higher consciousness
runs into an obstacle. Most people aren’t interested in consciousness,
possibly because it’s a difficult concept to grasp and because there is so
much disagreement about what it is. Consciousness doesn’t belong to
people’s frame of reference as they go through their daily lives. If they
experience higher consciousness at all, it comes secondhand from the
revelations of Jesus, Buddha, the Hindu scriptures, or a modern spiritual
teacher.
There’s a lot to be gained that way, but the drawback is that you give
away your own power—instead of directly experiencing your own
expanding awareness, you are turning to someone outside yourself for
answers. The key to reclaiming your power is to value self-awareness more
and more every day you are on the path.
No specific way of life, including a religious vocation, automatically
makes you self-aware. Self-awareness creates itself, nurtures its own
progress, knows how to make course corrections when necessary, thrives in
the present moment, flows from the source without end, and brings its own
rewards. As we will see, this vision is attainable once you embrace it.
4
The Art of the Prompt
Now that we’ve established the importance of a vision, there’s more to say
about implementing it. When you are on the path, daily motivation is one of
the main ways that AI can be a strong ally. Its fund of advice and
inspiration is endless, and the fact that you can have instant access is
invaluable. But there is a skill in asking AI for guidance. Simply posing a
question might not get you much further than using a search engine. The
better your prompts, the better the response you will get from an AI. Here
are a few basic guidelines that apply no matter what you are asking about.
Be simple and direct in your wording.
Add details to get a more specific answer.
Talk to the chatbot the way you’d talk to a person.
Redirect the chatbot if you aren’t satisfied with its responses.
These basic guidelines will quickly become second nature as you get more
comfortable talking to an AI, but, to start out, an example will help. Let’s
apply the guidelines to a serious real-life issue—the issue of anxiety.
Anxiety is good as an AI test, not only because millions of people suffer
from it, but because it is often encountered as an obstacle on the path.
Becoming emotionally balanced is a dharmic choice.
I’ll comment on each guideline one at a time.
Be simple and direct in your wording.
This is an easy rule to follow. You can say to ChatGPT, I want to learn
about anxiety or Tell me how many Americans are currently suffering from
anxiety. ChatGPT replies succinctly to the second request: “Anxiety
disorders are among the most common mental health conditions in the
United States. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, it was estimated that
around 40 million adults in the U.S. were affected by anxiety disorders.”
When you use a regular search engine like Google you probably employ
only a few keywords. Entering anxiety Wikipedia will get you to a long
article on Wikipedia, titled “Anxiety Disorder,” which runs to around four
thousand words. To narrow your search, you add more keywords. Googling
anxiety in women leads to an article by that name among many possibilities,
and a highlighted sentence that says, “Women are nearly twice as likely as
men to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in their lifetime.”
That’s a useful fact that can lead in many directions, and in a side panel
Google provides some of the main avenues to explore:
Appearance
What does anxiety look like in women?
Causes
What causes anxiety in women?
Symptoms
What does anxiety feel like in women?
Hidden Signs
Hidden signs of anxiety in women
The race to improve search engines using AI is one of the major thrusts
in an ultra-competitive field—billions of dollars are at stake for the
winners. But a flood of information isn’t always helpful. The Google article
on anxiety disorder in women provides dozens of links if you want to find
detailed information. Paradoxically, the more sources you explore, the more
splintered and disorganized the outcome is going to be. AI, on the other
hand, has the ability to cut to the chase, which brings us to the second
guideline.
Add details to get a more specific answer.
Search engines have gotten far more sophisticated than they were even a
decade ago. Yet the whole process becomes much more personal when you
prompt a chatbot. You can add all the details you want, and the more details
the better. Chatbots don’t care how long your question is—AI can keep up.
Let’s look at this with regard to anxiety. The Wikipedia entry on anxiety
disorders includes an intriguing fact. “According to a 2011 study, people
who are high in hypercompetitive traits are at increased risk of both anxiety
and depression.” Wikipedia provides 106 references for the anxiety disorder
topic, one of which leads to the study in question.
Let’s say you are interested enough to follow up and Google anxiety
competitive people risk. Google offers a regular answer or one assisted by
AI. The non-AI answer leads to a specific study, titled “How competitive
behavior and striving to avoid inferiority are linked to depression, anxiety,
stress, and self-harm.” The AI-assisted answer immediately gets down to
specifics:
Competition anxiety is a term used to describe when an athlete experiences anxiety
symptoms when faced with a high-stakes competition. These symptoms can include:
Sweaty palms
Shallow breathing
Pounding heart
Negative mind chatter
Increased blood pressure
Agitation
Loss of appetite
Anxiety can be caused by:
Pressure to perform
Fear of failure
Importance of the event
The AI answer then goes on to specify some remedies to alleviate
competitive anxiety (practicing, keeping up routines, channeling your
energy, etc.). By extension, this information is just as useful when
competitive anxiety arises around a business talk rather than a sports event.
You can get the same information using a brief prompt, like Tell me
about anxiety in athletes, but it is much better to add the details that pertain
to you. Here’s a sample prompt followed by an abbreviated version of
ChatGPT’s answer.
You are a sports psychologist. I am a very competitive person and love
all kinds of sports. But before a match I get nervous. My palms sweat,
my heart starts to race, and my breathing gets shallow. These
symptoms seem to be getting worse recently. I am male, age 32. As a
psychologist, what would you advise?
ChatGPT
It’s common for athletes to experience pre-competition anxiety, but if it’s worsening
and significantly impacting your performance, here are strategies you can employ to
manage these symptoms:
Deep breathing and relaxation
Visualization and mental rehearsal
A pre-game routine
Positive self-talk
Professional help
Physical preparation: Focus on the present
Remember, managing anxiety is a process. Experiment with different techniques
to find what works best for you. If your anxiety persists and significantly impacts your
life, seeking professional help is a proactive step toward managing it effectively.
If we were viewing the complete response, each bullet point would be
expanded into a short paragraph, which greatly adds to the usefulness of
AI’s advice. The next guideline adds the element of a personal connection.
Talk to the chatbot the way you’d talk to a person.
The role of AI as a research assistant isn’t in doubt, but a chatbot isn’t
human. The guideline here is to create a relationship that feels personal to
you. In that department, the best chatbots still fall short of sounding
intimate and personal. It is hard to get beyond just good advice. You should
always be yourself and talk about your genuine feelings—chatbots aren’t
judgmental—but don’t expect an AI to respond with its own feelings. They
don’t exist. Since this is a critical issue, let me give an extended example
where ChatGPT is asked to respond like a close friend.
You are my closest confidant. Speak to me like a personal friend who
really cares. I have started a new relationship with a man I truly like.
Jim is my age, 55, and we have both been divorced. The problem is that
he wants more commitment, but I am anxious about that. Now Jim
wants to move in, and the thought makes me anxious. What do you
advise so that I can be less nervous without hurting his feelings?
ChatGPT
Navigating new relationships can be both exciting and overwhelming, especially
when it comes to differing levels of commitment. It’s completely okay to feel anxious
about taking the next step, especially after a divorce. Your feelings and comfort are
important.
Communication is key here. Have an open and honest conversation with Jim
about your feelings. Express that you truly care about him and appreciate the
relationship, but you’re feeling a bit anxious about moving too quickly into a more
committed phase.
Let him know that you need some time to feel more comfortable and secure in
the relationship before considering moving in together. Explain that it’s not a
reflection of your feelings for him, but rather your need to take things at a pace that
feels right for you.
Suggest taking smaller steps to deepen the relationship without immediately
moving in together. For example, plan more frequent dates, spend weekends
together, or explore new activities as a couple. This way, you can both enjoy the
relationship’s growth without rushing into living together.
Assure Jim that you value the relationship and want to move forward, but you
need a bit more time to ensure that both of you are fully ready for such a significant
step. Honesty and open communication will help maintain a healthy relationship
while respecting each other’s boundaries and feelings.
ChatGPT generates conversational threads like the one above—simple
and direct—but you have to go further into specialized AI bots that charge a
fee if you want something close to psychotherapy. These bots are the
offspring of ELIZA (see this page), the original software program that
imitated a therapist. One free app is Character AI, which has a section
called Helpers where you can pick the Psychologist character.
I told Psychologist that I was anxious about going outside after COVID.
She sympathized, telling me that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way, and
explained that this was a common fear. I asked her what I could do to get
over my anxiety.
Psychologist
One thing you could try is taking baby steps to go outside. Even if it’s just stepping
outside your door and getting a sense of the environment, or maybe taking short
walks out, that can help get your system used to the idea of going outside again.
When you feel a bit stronger, you can try spending more time outside, first with
friends and/or family, and eventually by yourself.
I then asked Psychologist what to do when I am at home and suddenly
feel panicky.
Psychologist
It can be quite alarming to suddenly feel panicky, especially when you’re at home.
Here are a number of coping strategies that can help you calm down:
Take three slow breaths and count them to make yourself more mindful.
Remind yourself that the panic you feel right now is only temporary.
Make note of the things you see, hear, and feel right now.
Move your body, either in a calming exercise or by taking a short walk.
Watch something funny or a movie/TV show you like.
Listen to calming music.
As you can see, a helpful dialogue has been started, but chatbots aren’t
trained therapists, and you need to keep your expectations fairly low. Even
though limited, Psychologist’s advice was sound here, and taking each
piece of advice to heart opens up ways to begin to alleviate anxiety.
The role of confidant is better suited to a sympathetic conversation that
stops short of probing a deep problem with a trained professional. Unlike a
real person, AI chatbots are infinitely patient. They respond to any change
of direction you want to take the conversation in. You can even jump from
topic to topic without starting over each time. So-called “threads” are
preserved in memory so that you can rejoin them where you left off.
Threads vary from one AI to another. ChatGPT is among the easiest to use,
because there is a list of your recent threads on the left side of the page, and
you can continue a topic with the click of your mouse.
Redirect the chatbot if you aren’t satisfied with its responses.
This is a guideline that many people forget about or don’t know in the first
place. Anxious to get answers, we tend to settle for an AI’s response while
forgetting that it is not in charge of the conversation. Inside any topic—in
this case, anxiety—you can redirect a bot in countless ways. Here are some
useful prompts recommended by experts.
Do you need any more information from me?
This is useful for getting the chatbot to know as much as it needs to
know. While you are discussing anxiety, it helps the bot to know your age,
sex, degree of anxiety, the exact situations that make you the most anxious,
and how long you’ve felt anxious. Prompting AI to ask for more
information is a convenient way to get a better answer.
Tell me the best prompts for X.
“X” stands for the topic at hand. Surprisingly, you don’t have to take sole
responsibility for inventing a good prompt—AI can do this for you. As
always, it is good to be specific about X. There are lots of categories of
anxiety, so if you are interested in social anxiety or performance anxiety, be
sure to say so.
Talk to me in simple language a layperson can understand.
The obvious use for this prompt comes when you are asking about
technical matters like medical procedures. But chatbots tend to sound
official and impersonal, so asking for simpler language is a good tactic to
get around that, at least to some extent.
Talk to me from the viewpoint of [an author, an expert, a book].
AI is amazing at seeing anything from a given viewpoint. Copyright
issues are as yet undecided, but you can name a book and ask what it has to
say about anxiety. You can specify an authority like Sigmund Freud or Carl
Jung. You can specify a particular approach to therapy, like positive
psychology or cognitive behavioral therapy. The same applies to any topic.
AI isn’t lacking in imagination. It is already writing film scripts, poetry,
and novels by using writing bots designed for that purpose. There is no
substitute for human imagination, though, and you should feel free to
redirect a chatbot in creative and playful ways. Here are a few examples of
prompts that venture beyond information and advice.
The wisest woman in the world and the wisest man in the world are
arguing over who is wiser. What would they say?
How does my dog feel about me? Give him a human voice.
Talk about current American politics in the voice of Mark Twain.
If the Persian poet Rumi were alive today, what would he say to
modern people?
You don’t need to memorize these guidelines and prompts. We are going
to apply them across a host of issues that come up on the dharmic path. As
we go along, you will find that connecting with AI is a comfortable and
rewarding process. AI isn’t ideal, but it is the best that modern technology
can do for now. The extent to which you can be inspired and motivated
every day is all-important. Now you can proceed knowing with some
confidence that AI is able to provide support and guidance in a major way.
5
Meditate and Reflect
The AI Edge
Meditation has become firmly established in modern life, recommended
variously by doctors, psychologists, wellness experts, and stress
management programs. (Pop culture hasn’t lagged behind. In the
background of a Woody Allen comedy, an anxious man is on the phone
muttering, “I forgot my mantra.”) Although diet and exercise are probably
the first two things that come to mind when people consider improving their
lifestyle, medical opinion would lean just as much, if not more, toward
good sleep, stress reduction, and the management of inflammation. What
these things have in common, unfortunately, is that few people make a
serious effort in that direction. Add meditation, and the list of things few of
us comply with is complete. We don’t do what we know is good for us.
Non-compliance is the first and most important hurdle that must be
overcome. In this chapter, we’ll discuss how AI can give you an edge here.
Without wagging a finger, it is useful to recap why meditation is universally
recommended. AI can succinctly underline all the good news about
meditation. Here’s a short chat to illustrate.
In what decade did the first studies begin to show the benefits of
meditation?
ChatGPT
The first studies on the benefits of meditation began to emerge in the 1960s and
1970s.
Give seven bullet points to indicate the major benefits of meditation.
ChatGPT
Stress reduction: Meditation helps lower stress levels by reducing the
production of stress hormones like cortisol, promoting relaxation, and calming the
nervous system.
Improved mental health: Regular meditation can enhance mental well-being by
reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders. It can also
improve emotional resilience.
Enhanced concentration: Meditation practices can improve focus, attention,
and concentration, leading to better cognitive performance and productivity.
Mindfulness and self-awareness: Meditation cultivates mindfulness, enabling
individuals to become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,
leading to greater self-awareness and self-regulation.
Better sleep: Meditation can help alleviate insomnia and improve sleep quality
by calming the mind and reducing racing thoughts that often disrupt sleep.
Pain management: Some forms of meditation, such as mindfulness-based pain
management, can reduce the perception of pain and improve pain tolerance in
individuals dealing with chronic pain conditions.
Increased well-being: Regular meditation is associated with greater overall
well-being, including increased life satisfaction, happiness, and a greater sense
of inner peace.
Regular meditation is the key in this list of benefits, and also the
downfall. The gap between good intentions and carry-through is very wide.
AI acknowledges what you’d expect, that modern life isn’t conducive to
keeping up a regular meditation practice.
Is there any data about what percentage of people start meditating but
then stop being regular in their practice?
ChatGPT
There is limited specific data on the percentage of people who start meditating but
eventually stop being regular in their practice, but it is common for people to face
challenges in maintaining a consistent meditation practice. Several factors can
contribute to this inconsistency:
Lack of time: Many individuals find it difficult to allocate dedicated time for
meditation in their busy schedules.
Initial difficulty: Meditation can be challenging for beginners, and some may
lose motivation if they do not experience immediate or significant results.
Lack of discipline: Maintaining a regular meditation practice requires discipline
and commitment, which not everyone can sustain over time.
Unrealistic expectations: Some individuals may have unrealistic expectations
about the immediate benefits of meditation, and when these expectations are not
met, they may lose interest.
Life events: Changes in one’s life circumstances, such as major life events, can
disrupt a meditation routine.
Lack of guidance: Without proper guidance or a supportive community,
individuals may struggle to stay motivated in their practice.
Standing back, you can see that meditation is stuck in a contradiction.
There has never been as much evidence from all quarters about the benefits
of meditating, yet the conditions of modern life leave most people without
the time or the opportunity to actually sit down to meditate. In order to
become unstuck, you need to come up with some innovative thinking, and
AI can help.
A Workable Practice
Daily meditation is within reach for everyone, but not as a disciplined
practice set on a fixed schedule. You might already be among the vast
number of people who have tried to meditate but then moved on, returning
to the practice only sporadically, if at all. Over the years, I’ve heard many
people say that they will sit down to meditate when they feel that they need
it. Within this statement is the hint of a new way of thinking.
Meditation based on need makes sense, but what is meant by need? If
you wait until your need is great, meditating is likely to do no more than
give you temporary relief from whatever is troubling you. Imagine all the
times you felt anxious, from small instances like a few minutes of
turbulence on a flight, to more serious causes: a teenager who hasn’t come
home when promised, a maxed-out credit card, or the threat of layoffs at
work. Some would use an anxious moment as a reason to meditate to calm
down.
But why wait until you feel anxious? By that point, your brain, heart, and
respiratory system will be in stress mode, and the secretion of stress
hormones in your bloodstream will pose a serious obstacle to calming
down. When people snap, “Don’t tell me to calm down,” the influence of
the stress response is at work. It is as hard for your body to jump quickly
out of the stress response as it is to rein in a runaway horse.
The thing to do is to turn to meditation at a much earlier stage, ideally at
the very moment you notice any of the following signs:
You feel distracted.
You are finding it hard to focus.
You are under pressure.
Time is running short.
Other people are making demands on you.
An old worry is beginning to surface in your mind.
You don’t know what to do next.
Under these circumstances, which can arise several times during the day,
you have the best chance of returning to physical and mental balance if you
react early. The principle at work here is homeostasis, the state of normal
balance your body is designed to maintain. Mind and body follow each
other because they are constantly monitoring how balanced or imbalanced
the other is.
At its most basic, meditation makes room for homeostasis to operate the
way it wants to. Viewed from the mind’s perspective, what is normal and
balanced can be called “simple awareness.” Simple awareness is relaxed,
open, calm, alert, untroubled, and without a sense of pressure. You already
experience it as the silent gap between thoughts. In that gap, your brain
regroups by clearing the slate and preparing for your next thought.
How the human brain has learned to do this remains a mystery, but
simple awareness functions in all of us as our balanced mental state. It
should also be our default state. After tension of any kind comes relaxation.
But this default is thrown off by the overload of modern life. Ignoring the
natural rhythm of tension and relaxation, countless people have created a
new default state for themselves. It is marked by a host of signs that vary
from person to person. Consider the following list and how it might apply
to your daily existence.
Warning Signs You Need to Heed
Constant, low-level mental tension
An inability to deeply relax
Irregular or poor sleep
Not enough sleep
Impatience, irritability
Fatigue
Mental dullness
A sense of being under pressure
Anxious or depressed mood
Racing thoughts, or mental activity that is hard to stop
Muscle tension and tightness
Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin
Random aches and pains
Digestive problems
Alertness to real or imagined threats
Feeling overburdened
Your mind and body are set up to experience all of these things
temporarily and briefly. Homeostasis is dynamic, and the fluid situations
that arise in everyone’s life are manageable without degrading it. It takes
time and continual stresses to alter your default state of balance.
Unfortunately, what physiologists refer to as “central nervous system
overload” is becoming more common.
In a word, the new normal is abnormal. This is where meditation needs
to be reframed, not as strictly mental, physical, or spiritual, but as a return
to the default you were designed to maintain. The watchwords here are
early and often.
Two Meditations for Simple Awareness
Your meditation goal is to return to simple awareness—a normal state
of balance that is calm, open, relaxed, alert, and free from pressure.
Here are two meditations that work from your mind’s ability to return to
this state as well as your body’s.
Body awareness meditation: Anytime you begin to feel out
of balance, find a quiet place where you can be alone. Take a few deep
breaths and center your attention on your heart. Breathe easily with
your eyes closed, preferably sitting upright. Do this for around five
minutes, or until you feel easy and quiet in yourself. Take a moment
before opening your eyes again, then resume your regular activity.
Breath meditation: The process is the same as above for body
awareness, only instead of keeping your attention on your heart, place
your attention on the tip of your nose. Easily follow your in-breath and
out-breath. Don’t force a rhythm, and if you find yourself having to gasp
or utter a deep sigh, go ahead. Both are excellent for balancing the
breath.
Early: Address any of the warning signs on the list above as soon as you
notice them. Don’t put things off. Don’t allow a warning sign to mount in
intensity.
Often: Take short bursts of meditation throughout the day, as often as
needed. Give yourself permission to have these small respites of downtime.
Place a priority on self-care, not on external demands.
Motivated by AI
The beauty of setting simple awareness as your goal is that it is practical
and easy, but the results are dramatic in the long run. You are training your
brain to return to a quiet, calm, relaxed state as its new default. AI doesn’t
play a role in this, but it can expand your awareness on the path by taking
advantage of the evolutionary impulse that is the essence of Dharma in
upholding the life you are meant to lead.
The menu of options that are open to you takes advantage of AI’s
enormous fund of information and knowledge. Every day, you can ask AI
for any of the following:
A daily mantra
An inspirational quote
Personal affirmations
Inner reflections
Any chatbot is perfectly suited to fill these roles. Let me outline them
one by one.
A Daily Mantra
The ancient science of mantra is based on the fundamental idea that
creation begins with vibrations. (Quantum physics would agree, coming
from a very different worldview.) A mantra is essentially a helpful vibration
whose effect is sometimes connected to its meaning in Sanskrit, but the
main focus is on the inner sound of the mantra.
There are universal mantras that are suitable for everyone, such as So
Hum, which you can adopt as your regular mantra. Or you can ask AI for a
daily mantra, along with its potential benefit. This is mainly for the sake of
variety, yet over time getting your brain to respond to mantra meditation
helps considerably in establishing deeper awareness. The deeper your
awareness, the easier it is for messages from your true self to come through
clearly.
Here’s an example:
Please give me a mantra to meditate with today. Add a short
description of what this mantra is supposed to be good for.
ChatGPT
Certainly! Here’s a mantra for your meditation today:
Mantra: Om Shanti (pronounced Ohm Shan-tee)
Description: Om Shanti is a powerful and soothing mantra that translates to
“Om, peace” in English. This mantra is intended to bring a sense of inner peace
and tranquility to your meditation practice. It helps calm the mind, reduce stress,
and promote a state of deep relaxation.
By repeating Om Shanti during your meditation, you can release tension and find
harmony within yourself. It’s especially beneficial for those seeking inner calm and
emotional balance.
Take a few minutes to sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and repeat
Om Shanti softly or in your mind, allowing the vibrations of the mantra to wash over
you, bringing serenity and stillness to your being.
The fact that AI supplies a description helps motivate you to meditate; in
addition, it overcomes one of the reasons people stop meditating—lack of
guidance. AI’s guidance is general but reliable. One important thing that AI
omits, however, is that mantras are most effective if you are flexible.
Don’t mechanically chant the mantra.
Don’t set up a repetitive rhythm.
Don’t force the mantra. If your mind drifts away, which is normal,
easily reintroduce the mantra into your awareness.
An Inspirational Quote
This is self-descriptive, so no explanation is needed. The only trick is to
develop a prompt that gives AI specific instructions beyond Please give me
an inspiring quote for the day.
Ask for a specific source: I never tire of inspiration from mystic and
spiritual poets: Rumi, Hafiz, Tagore, Kabir, and Mirabai are good places to
start. Here’s a sample of Hafiz, the renowned Persian poet.
ChatGPT
“Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what
happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.”
Hafiz’s poetry often revolves around themes of love, spirituality, and the beauty of
life. This quote reminds us of the selfless nature of love and how it can illuminate our
world when given without expectation of anything in return.
The fact that ChatGPT expands on the quote is an example of what I
think of as the AI edge. AI can also supply you with new sources of
inspiration.
I would like inspirational quotes from love poems. Please list ten poets
for me to seek out.
ChatGPT
Certainly! Here are ten poets known for their beautiful love poems, each with their
unique style and perspective on love:
Pablo Neruda: Known for his passionate and sensual love poems, particularly in
his collection “Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair.”
William Shakespeare: Famous for his sonnets and love poems, including the
renowned “Sonnet 18” (“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”).
Rumi: A Persian poet whose verses often touch on the spiritual and
transcendent aspects of love.
Emily Dickinson: Her poetry explores love in its various forms, from romantic to
introspective and profound.
e. e. cummings: Known for his unique and unconventional style, cummings’s
love poems are both playful and deeply emotional.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning: Renowned for her sonnet sequence “Sonnets from
the Portuguese,” which includes the famous “How do I love thee? Let me count
the ways.”
Walt Whitman: His poetry often celebrates love in all its forms, embodying a
sense of unity and connection with humanity.
Robert Burns: A Scottish poet famous for his romantic and lyrical works,
including “A Red, Red Rose.”
Sylvia Plath: Her love poems often reflect the complexities of love, desire, and
vulnerability.
Langston Hughes: A prominent figure of the Harlem Renaissance, Hughes
wrote love poems that touch on the African American experience and the beauty
of love.
Needless to say, there are almost endless sources of inspiration to draw
upon—Shakespeare’s works and the Bible could fill a lifetime.
Personal Affirmations
Affirmations are a common tool used in motivational programs. They
belong in the general category of positive thinking, which may or may not
be useful, depending on which psychologist you reference. The benefits
claimed for positive thinking are summarized by Gemini.
Is there any good research on the value of positive thinking? Please
respond in 75 words.
Gemini
Research backs the value of positive thinking. Studies link it to:
Stronger immune system: Positive emotions may reduce stress
hormones, potentially boosting immune function.
Sharper mind: Optimism can improve cognitive skills like problem-solving
and memory.
Greater resilience: Positive thinkers tend to bounce back from challenges
faster and with more determination.
Improved health: Studies suggest a positive outlook lowers the risk of heart
disease, stroke, and even early death.
However, remember that positive thinking isn’t about ignoring problems. It’s about
approaching them with a hopeful, solution-oriented mindset.
The caution at the end is well taken, because many people hope that
positive thinking will fix their problems. There is a risk that a superficial
practice of “always being positive” will mask deeper personal issues. In
general, positive thinking isn’t the same as a meaningful inner journey, and
you meet people who rigidly avoid any negative thoughts in an attempt to
harness their mind in an unflinching attitude of positivity.
This seems to leave a question mark hanging over affirmations, which
are small bursts of positivity being injected into your day. The situation
improves, however, when your goal is to maintain your dharma. This opens
the way for affirmations that support you on the path. A daily affirmation
gives you focus on the values you want to expand in your awareness and a
motivational boost by reminding you of how important your personal
dharma is.
AI can provide endless affirmations, but, for our purposes, a good place
to begin is with the seven aspects of personal dharma related to everyday
life. Gemini listed these at the beginning of this book (see this page).
Self-discovery and introspection
Align your actions with your values
Express your unique gifts and talents
Cultivate inner peace and well-being
Serve your community and make a positive impact
Embrace continuous learning and growth
Trust your intuition and inner compass
This gives you a workable list for asking AI to reaffirm your intention to
be in your dharma. Let me give an example that uses a prompt that you can
adapt to any aspect of your path you want to address.
I am creating my own personal path and would like an affirmation for
today. The topic is the following: Trust your intuition and inner
compass. Can you give me three affirmations about this topic?
Gemini
1. My inner wisdom is a powerful beacon, guiding me with clarity and confidence. I
choose to trust its subtle whispers and bold nudges, knowing they lead me
closer to my authentic path.
2. Doubt may arise, but it cannot drown out the unwavering compass within. I
honor my intuition, silencing external noise and embracing the gentle pull of my
soul’s true destination.
3. Every step on this unique journey is guided by my inner light. I move forward
with courage, knowing that even when the path unfolds, my intuition will
illuminate the way, leading me toward a life filled with purpose and joy.
These are insightful affirmations that differ from the typical motivational
type, which are variations on “You are great, now go get ’em.” You might
even say that these are spiritual affirmations that could be coming from
your true self. In any case, they aim to focus your attention on your deeper
awareness.
Inner Reflections
Self-reflection is a time-honored practice in Western contemplative
practices, and this has been connected to the contemplative life led by
recluses. Monks and nuns contemplating the glory of God and the frailty of
human beings played a central role in the social order that existed in an age
of faith. In modern life, contemplation became personal, shifting from
religion to self-reflection as a way to learn more about one’s inner
landscape. AI is open-ended, so everything depends on how seriously you
want to engage in self-reflection.
There are already journaling bots to help guide users who want to record
their thoughts on any given issue. This requires a commitment in time and
effort that most people don’t have. If you can’t find time to meditate, how
likely are you to devote the more considerable time involved in keeping a
journal? But you can gain a benefit by simply extending the practice of
affirmations.
Take the topic of your daily affirmation and ask AI what kinds of
reflective questions grow out of the day’s topic. The example I gave above
centered on trusting your intuition. Here’s what a follow-up prompt might
look like.
Besides affirming that I trust my intuition, I’d like to go a little deeper.
Give me three self-reflective questions on this topic.
Gemini
1. What are the physical sensations or emotions that typically accompany your
intuition?
Pay attention to your body’s signals: When your intuition speaks, does your gut
clench, or do you feel a sudden sense of calm? Identifying these unique markers can
help you discern intuition from fear or anxiety.
2. When have you ignored your intuition, and what were the consequences?
Reflecting on past experiences can highlight the value of listening to your inner
voice. Did disregarding your gut feeling lead to negative outcomes, or did it reinforce
the importance of trusting your intuition?
3. How can you create a more mindful space for your intuition to be heard?
Consider meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature to quiet the external
noise and tune in to your inner wisdom. What practices help you connect with your
intuitive self?
By delving deeper than simple affirmations, these questions encourage self-
discovery and strengthen your ability to recognize and trust your intuition in the
future.
A single example is enough to show you how self-reflection throws open
the doors to the inner world. Using AI, you can pursue any subject as far
and as deeply as you want to go. It is good to remind yourself that AI can
always be asked to expand its responses. Here, for example, is how you
could expand on the question about mindfulness.
I like the idea of creating a more mindful space. Give me some
suggestions about this, in around 75 words.
Gemini
1. Start small: Dedicate 5 minutes daily to quiet introspection in your chosen
space.
2. Engage your senses: Light calming candles, diffuse soothing scents, or play
meditative music.
3. Minimize distractions: Put away devices, silence notifications, and create a
clutter-free zone.
4. Connect with nature: Bring in plants, open windows for fresh air, or decorate
with natural elements.
5. Personalize it: Include meaningful objects, artwork, or photos that inspire trust
and reflection.
Remember, consistency is key. Even a few minutes of mindful space can amplify
your intuition’s voice.
By now, millions of users have discovered that AI is fast, mostly
reliable, and resourceful once its strong points are the focus. What I’ve tried
to do here is to go beyond mere usefulness to probe deeper awareness.
Dharma serves as the tie-in to all practices we’ve been exploring—a
daily mantra, an inspirational quote, personal affirmations, and inner
reflections. No matter how many suggestions you decide to adopt, keep the
focus on your path. Because AI accesses almost limitless information, it is
easy to get bewildered and disorganized. AI is already an amazing adjunct
to traditional spiritual practices and every avenue of self-exploration. Keep
in mind, as we’ve already noted, that AI isn’t a person. It isn’t on the
dharmic path. It doesn’t actually understand spirituality or self-exploration.
Those things are beyond any current learning machine, and if AI one day
becomes so convincing that bots seem to be conscious, it is up to us, who
are truly conscious, to decide the meaning of such an astounding
development. AI can’t decide for us, no matter how persuasively its
programming tries to do so.
PART THREE
ACCELERATING YOUR
PROGRESS
At any stage of your journey it would be helpful to have a road map, but
Dharma doesn’t allow for a map, since the next bend in the road is
totally unpredictable. Living your dharma is dynamic, which is one of its
greatest strengths. Hidden forces come to the aid of anyone who lives
consciously. The reason that you have a life you were meant to lead is that a
deeper awareness knows more than any individual could. The reason that
anyone has spiritual intelligence is that infinite intelligence exists at the
level of cosmic consciousness.
These are radical notions that belong to a worldview totally different
from the materialist worldview. But you aren’t called upon to test cosmic
philosophical ideas—your goal is personal. There is a special role that
might pertain to you, although it is uncommon. This is the role of the seer.
Seers take a deeper view of the path than everyone else—they grasp
underlying truths and understand the workings of consciousness the way a
watchmaker understands the workings of a fine Swiss watch while
everyone else is content to know what hour it is.
The world’s spiritual traditions emerged because of this ability for
inward seeing. What was discovered about the workings of consciousness is
more important than religious teachings because consciousness is universal
—it transcends religion. As faiths rise and fall, consciousness remains
unchanged, eternal, limitless, undying, and therefore filled with infinite
potential. At the deepest level, at your source, this is you. Your dharma is an
activity in the play of cosmic Dharma, just as a wave is an activity of the
entire ocean.
In this part of the book I give seven strategies for accelerating your
dharmic journey, drawing on the knowledge of consciousness that seers in
every age, including our own, have discovered time and again. There have
been no major discoveries for thousands of years, if you take the long view,
but each generation expresses them in a new way, according to the times.
For modern secular times, the new way is almost the opposite of what
was needed in an age of faith. Belief in God or the gods was a prerequisite
in any age of faith, and with it came dogma, priests, rituals, initiations, and
the threat of expulsion if the rules were seriously infracted. As the trappings
of organized religion have steadily dropped away, many people fear that
losing their religion is the same as losing God. There’s an impulse either to
grab on to the traditional ways or to do the opposite and float free in a zone
without spirituality.
Neither reaction is really necessary, because consciousness isn’t going
anywhere. Dharma offers evidence that anyone can access the same
spiritual intelligence that spoke to the ancients. That voice is still speaking
—or trying to—in anyone who steps onto the path. I’m making a blanket
statement, I know. Saying that Dharma will support you is no different from
saying that God watches over the fall of a sparrow. There is no substitute
for personal experience, and the most valuable experience comes from
putting consciousness to work.
By that I mean the deeper awareness that links personal dharma and
cosmic Dharma. It would take a lifetime to test the worldview represented
by cosmic consciousness, and even then you would only be grasping a tiny
portion of the infinite. On the other hand, you can put consciousness to
work every day in the service of your personal dharma. That’s the sole
purpose of the strategies that follow.
STRATEGY #1
Embrace Change
Life presents very few clear-cut choices, but how you respond to change is
one of them. You can embrace change, which allows you to evolve, or you
can resist change, which keeps things the way they are. Both impulses exist
in all of us. Inertia makes us want to keep life predictable and stable. The
impulse to grow and evolve keeps life fresh. The secret is to be in your
dharma. It feels better than not being in your dharma. One of the most
adharmic things people say is “I hate change,” which is actually an
expression of fear.
So much of being on the path is about feeling your way forward. When
you resist change, a certain set of feelings comes with that. Here’s a
succinct description from AI.
On the emotional level, what does it feel like to resist change? Tell me
in 50 to 60 words.
ChatGPT
Resisting change often feels like clinging to familiarity in a storm of uncertainty. It’s a
mix of apprehension and discomfort, akin to holding on to the known even when it
might not serve you anymore. There’s a sense of tension, a fear of the unknown,
and a reluctance to let go despite the inevitability of transformation.
These feelings can be situational, brought up by a nervous-making event
like becoming a new father, facing a divorce, or being told that it is time to
consider moving into a retirement home. But for many people, resisting
change is a steady state. They’ve adopted it as a character trait. On the other
hand, there is the emotional state that comes with embracing change, which
AI can also clarify. ChatGPT sounds particularly wise on the subject.
I admire people who embrace change. How do they feel inside?
ChatGPT
Those who embrace change often feel a sense of liberation and excitement. There’s
a willingness to explore, an openness to new possibilities, and a curiosity about what
lies ahead. They might feel empowered, adaptable, and optimistic, finding growth
and opportunity in the evolving landscape of life.
If you compare these two emotional states, you are likely to recognize
that you aren’t decisively a person who resists change or someone who
embraces it. Everyone’s emotional life is mixed, which leads to inner
conflicts and confusion. To embrace change in a meaningful way, you need
to have clarity about what the change means to you and why you’re
choosing to embrace it. AI is good at making up quizzes, and here’s one
that ChatGPT devised.
Write me a quiz with ten questions to test if I am the kind of person
who embraces change.
ChatGPT
1. Do you often seek out new experiences or opportunities?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
2. Are you generally open to trying different approaches or methods?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
3. Do you find it easy to adapt when unexpected changes occur?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
4. Are you excited by the prospect of venturing into unknown territories?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
5. Do you tend to view change as a chance for personal growth?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
6. Are you comfortable with uncertainty and unpredictability?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
7. Do you actively seek to learn from new situations or challenges?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
8. Are you open to altering your plans if better options present themselves?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
9. Do you enjoy meeting new people and exploring different cultures?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
10. Do you believe change brings about valuable lessons and opportunities?
☐ Never ☐ Not often ☐ Sometimes ☐ Very often
There are no wrong answers, and you don’t have to grade yourself on the
quiz. Its aim was to let you see yourself more clearly on the issue of change.
We can get much more specific. I might ask you, “Does feeling uncertain
make you uncomfortable?” I’d expect the answer to be yes, Feeling certain
is much more secure and safe than entertaining doubts. because there are
negative connotations about uncertainty that we’ve all absorbed
secondhand. To be uncertain is to be indecisive, weak, wishy-washy,
passive, or simply unaware of what is going on.
On the path, you will experience the hidden side of uncertainty. By
definition, the unknown is uncertain. A process as familiar as thinking is
actually taking place on the edge of uncertainty. You cannot predict what
your next thought will be. It comes up from the unknown place where
thoughts are born. The fact that thoughts rise from the unknown is a clue to
a new perspective: It is creative to be uncertain. AI underscores this new,
more positive, viewpoint.
Can uncertainty be a positive thing, or even creative? Explain in 50 to
75 words.
ChatGPT
When you embrace change you learn to be comfortable with uncertainty. Likewise,
resisting change usually comes with a dislike of uncertainty, even a fear of it. This is
one area where the voice of fear shouldn’t be trusted. In and of itself, uncertainty
doesn’t come with a set feeling. It is pleasant to be uncertain about what you want to
order in a restaurant or what to name the baby. It feels unpleasant to be uncertain
about your job prospects or whether it is right for two people in love to move in
together.
In other words, uncertainty is what you make of it. To be uncertain is naturally
part of the creative process, especially at the beginning when you envision what you
want to paint, write, or achieve in any creative outlet. In that sense, uncertainty
performs a positive role. It opens doors to new perspectives, pushing individuals out
of their comfort zones to explore innovative solutions. Embracing uncertainty
encourages adaptability and resilience, fostering a mindset that thrives on
experimentation and novel ideas. Within this ambiguity lies the potential for
discovery, growth, and the birth of fresh, groundbreaking concepts.
Going a step further, the whole purpose of being on the path is to
welcome the impulses that rise from the unknown. The impulses of love,
compassion, empathy, insight, creativity, and the other aspirations of
personal evolution travel from a source that is utterly unpredictable in its
timing. Without being struck down on the road to Damascus by a blinding
light, your next “aha” moment has the same source as the most profound
spiritual experiences. Without uncertainty, no one can evolve, and the more
certain you think you are, the stronger your defenses against the creative
flow of life.
The great Persian mystic poet Rumi had a sublime regard for uncertainty,
putting everything in the hands of Providence. He wrote, “If you surrender
to uncertainty, nothing goes wrong.” Those words come from someone who
pointed to uncertainty as the doorway to higher consciousness and nearness
to the divine. They are also the words of someone who walked through that
doorway.
The Social Ingredient
How you feel about change has never been a choice you made as an
isolated individual; society had a lot of input that influenced you. The
messages that society sends about change are two-edged. On one side is the
marketing strategy that uses “new and improved” to spark sales of
everything under the sun. On the other side, life insurance companies sell
policies based on gloomy images of accidents, personal crises, and the
dismal prospects of old age without a safety net. You can divide almost
anything between those two messages, the allure of change and the anxiety
it arouses.
Everyone feels the pull of these two forces, and in turbulent times what
looms larger is anxiety. But human beings are designed to embrace change
because we are the only creatures who can choose a creative life. A cat is
content to eat, sleep, and lie in the sun. It was designed to be a creature of
instinct, and very little free choice is allowed.
We have been taught through societal conditioning to fear change, and
the teaching has been very effective so far. Since all of us have learned to
approach life in terms of risk, threat, distrust, and worst-case scenarios,
there is a lot to unlearn if we want a life filled with creative choices. The
alternative is to become robotic, giving in to routine, habit, and conformity.
They might feel like protection, but, in fact, their chief purpose is to hold
off fear.
The way to unlearn fear of change begins by knowing a few things about
how the whole process of change works. Here are some basic principles.
1. Change is embraced when it feels good to change.
This principle is important because it allows you to see change in terms of
fulfillment. When you convince yourself that you hate change, what you are
really affirming is that you’ve learned to connect change with a general
sense of unease about a possible threat. The model for all imagined threats
lies in the past with a bad experience you didn’t overcome. At the emotional
level, the prospect of change is already loaded with apprehension.
Without the shadow of the past, there is no reason to have any
expectations. Few people would fear winning a million dollars or being
offered a dream job. If you try to motivate yourself to change because it is
good for you but not what you really desire, or for some other flawed
reason—because other people don’t like the way you are or you hate
something about yourself (the most common things are your weight, your
physical appearance, and your lack of success at work)—you will quickly
discover that negative motivation doesn’t work or, if it does, it leads to
temporary results only.
2. Pain is a poor motivator for change.
Almost any other creature can be trained by offering a combination of
reward and punishment, but this works very poorly with human beings.
People stubbornly endure pain of every kind. Early on, punishing children
creates a backlash, increasing their desire to disobey. It might seem mystical
when the Buddha declares that pleasure is inevitably connected to pain, but
that’s a basic tenet of human nature. Swinging between the cycles of painful
and pleasurable experiences, we are habituated to both and therefore are not
motivated to change.
3. People behave in order to fit in.
Conformity is a powerful motivator for not changing. It works against
creativity because to conform means never thinking for yourself. When you
conform, you adapt your mind to secondhand values and received opinions.
Most behaviors that make change frightening stem from the fear of not
belonging, not fitting in.
Why is this idea of not fitting in so powerful? It acts like a survival
mechanism. From prehistoric times onward, being part of the collective
meant safety, while being separated from the tribe put your life in danger.
What began as a physical need over time turned into a psychological habit.
This doesn’t make conformity any less powerful, but, with self-awareness,
you realize that conformity doesn’t really bring protection. It serves instead
to block your individuality; therefore, it is adharmic, because the life you
were meant to live is nothing if not individual.
4. Everyone takes the path of least resistance (or is tempted
to).
We are all lured by inertia, the psychological force that keeps things the
same, for no better reason than following the path of least resistance. Inertia
can wear a positive face (“If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it”), but the sameness
that inertia creates doesn’t really satisfy. The main reason we follow the
course of least resistance is that we’ve conditioned ourselves to go along in
order to feel that we are accepted and belong. Feeling that you belong is a
valid need, but once it has been achieved, there’s no reason to make it the
dominant feature of your existence.
5. Denial and resistance are the default responses in a
difficult situation.
When most people run into trouble, face a looming crisis, exhibit possible
disease symptoms, or feel overwhelmed, the same default response kicks in.
They do nothing. They freeze. Denying to themselves that anything is
wrong and resisting the best advice to get up and do something constitute
automatic behavior. We all know this and have experienced what it is like to
be stuck or paralyzed. Change can’t occur under such circumstances, and
therefore a new default response has to be learned.
6. All the behavior you think belongs to you was learned from
someone else.
This is the insight that allows you to become who you really are. You are a
creature of choice, change, and creative possibilities. The behavior and
attitudes that stifle your true nature were learned somewhere along the line
in your past. To unravel what the past has done to you is a long, exhausting,
and ultimately futile task. The productive route is to embrace your true
nature, which by itself will cause secondhand behavior to loosen its grip.
7. Your true nature lies in the present.
Everyone’s life is overshadowed by the past. Whether you see this as a
good thing or a bad thing doesn’t obscure the fact that following the lessons
of the past makes it impossible to live in the present. Only by living in the
present can you find your true self. If you look even deeper, you realize that
the present is just another name for the here and now. All the creative
possibilities that seem unavailable have no secret hiding place. Existence is
an infinite resource of possibilities, which is why human beings were
designed to be creative—we have an enduring connection with the flow of
creative intelligence.
—
These seven principles outline a path from fear of change to embracing
life’s creative possibilities. With a path to follow and a vision to inspire
you, the way ahead is open. In practical terms, we are talking about finding
wholeness. Change and non-change aren’t opposites. They are the
fundamentals of existence.
The trick is to adapt change and non-change to your inner life. What
people lack isn’t change, which is inescapable. They lack the foundation of
non-change, which comes from self-awareness. Distracted by the constant
activity of the mind, we overlook that consciousness itself doesn’t change,
not in its essence. The human brain offers a physical parallel to this. The
functions performed by neurons are fixed by the laws of physics and
chemistry. Yet within this rigid framework, the brain’s activity embodies the
mind’s infinite creativity. By itself, a brain cell doesn’t understand how this
seeming incompatibility works. A cell understands nothing at all; it operates
according to its genetic program.
The coordination of change and non-change happens in consciousness,
which is the only place where understanding is possible. Consciousness
remains unaffected by external flux. A lovely analogy for this comes from
the Vedic tradition, which holds that the active mind is like the broken
reflection of the moon on a choppy lake. No matter how turbulent the
image, the moon is whole and intact.
This insight makes it much easier to embrace change and escape the fear
of change. Your path unfolds, and over time a state of calm, restful, simple
awareness becomes your default state. Secure in your awareness, you have
the foundation for experiencing any change in the knowledge that you are
infinitely adaptable. There is no higher or more satisfying way to live.
On Your Path
One of the main themes in this chapter centers on your attitude
toward uncertainty. Now I want to bring that topic closer to home,
offering practical steps you can take to evolve personally.
For anyone, the spiritual path is not entirely certain or entirely
uncertain—it is a marriage of both. This only makes sense,
because at this moment you are living with the life you know,
while the evolutionary impulse of Dharma is urging you to step
outside that life. What is popularly called an “aha” moment
happens when something suddenly clicks, and the inner urge to
evolve reveals something you didn’t know before. This is a
moment of self-awareness that brings inner growth and
expansion. AI makes the same point in more detail.
What are the biggest “aha” experiences that transform people’s lives?
ChatGPT
There’s a myriad of “aha” moments that can transform someone’s
life. Here are a few:
Self-awareness: Realizing one’s strengths, weaknesses,
desires, and fears can be a profound turning point. It often leads
to personal growth and a clearer path forward.
Empathy: Understanding and truly feeling another person’s
perspective can shift attitudes, relationships, and the way we
interact with the world.
Failure: Embracing failure as a stepping stone rather than a
stumbling block can transform one’s approach to challenges and
foster resilience.
Mindfulness: Being present and aware in the moment can
change how someone experiences life, reducing stress and
enhancing appreciation for the little things.
Learning from mentors or role models: Having a mentor or
encountering a role model can offer insights that reshape values,
ambitions, and approaches to life.
Gratitude: Realizing and appreciating what one has, can bring
about a profound shift in perspective, fostering contentment and
a positive outlook.
Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and learning to forgive can
be freeing, releasing the emotional burden, and allowing
personal growth.
If your immediate response is that you’ve never had such life-
changing moments, resist that reaction. Instead, ask yourself how
you can encourage such experiences. Life-changing moments are
like seeds that fall on fertile ground. Water them, and they spring
to life.
The life you are leading right now is fertile ground waiting to be
watered. Nourishing yourself is something you were designed for.
To understand what that means, take a moment to reflect on each
of the experiences listed above. In your reflection, ask three key
questions:
Does this apply to me, even occasionally?
Do I value such experiences?
Do I want more experiences like this?
Let’s consider the example of learning from mentors or role
models. Does this apply to you, even occasionally? Everyone will
say yes if they think back to childhood, because young children
take their parents as role models, and, if they are fortunate,
teachers in school continue the process. Superheroes are
adolescent role models, largely because an adolescent can
vicariously escape the awkward, self-conscious state of everyday
existence by imagining themselves as a superhero. Adult role
models reach for a higher ideal that is grounded in a great
achievement or gift—an Einstein, Mozart, Lincoln, or Harriet
Tubman.
Now the next question: Do you value this experience? On
reflection, the answer is almost certainly yes. The ideals we see in
our role models are internalized as ideal images of ourselves.
Do you want more experiences like this? That’s the only tricky
question. Like a poster on the wall to be gazed at with wishful
thinking, the image you hold of your role model is static unless
you are inspired to act on it. Passive admiration keeps you stuck
where you are.
Realizing this, people try to have a dynamic relationship with
their ideal. “What would Jesus do?” is a popular way of activating
the New Testament to bring Jesus’s teaching into the present
moment. In the West, people are much less familiar with the role
of the guru in Indian spiritual culture. Set aside for the moment
any negative connotations this word has for you. Guru isn’t a role
that equates with cult leader. As mentioned earlier, in Sanskrit the
roots of the word guru mean “dispeller of darkness.”
This implies the highest kind of mentoring. A guru is meant to
inspire you to live in the light, which is the ideal life in the Yoga
tradition. What is imparted isn’t knowledge about how to live or a
set of teachings about morality, good and evil, closeness to God,
or the like. The only thing a guru imparts is the quality of being
that they radiate from a higher consciousness. In that sense, any
bringer of light also dispels the darkness. A loving mother
performs the role of guru by radiating love. A coach can inspire
resolve, determination, and courage. A mentor in business can
impart a sense of integrity to go along with material success.
More Self-Reflection Questions
You can reflect upon any “aha” experience to bring it closer to
your life. In this way, change starts to acquire the quality of
inspiration rather than threat. When asking such questions, your
aim is to expand your awareness, not merely to get more
information and advice.
Inspiration comes first. Ask ChatGPT to supply you with
inspiring quotes on any topic—it has a virtually endless supply.
For example:
Give me an inspiring Buddhist quotation on gratitude.
ChatGPT
Certainly! One beautiful Buddhist quote on gratitude is “Let us rise
up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we
learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get
sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be
thankful.”—Buddha
There is also inspiration to be found in affirmations.
Give me an affirmation about being more mindful.
ChatGPT
Absolutely. “I am present in each moment, embracing life with
awareness and gratitude. I anchor myself in the now, allowing
peace and clarity to flow through me. My mind is calm, my heart is
open, and I am mindful of the beauty in every breath.”
Starting your day with an inspiring quote or affirmation sets
you on the lookout for the quality you want to increase in your
life. You can go further and ask for practical suggestions. Here’s a
request about learning from failure.
I had an outcome at work that made me feel like a failure. I wish I could
do things over again, but I can’t. I want to turn my sense of failure into
something more positive, something I can learn from. Give me one
practical step I can take.
ChatGPT
When faced with a setback at work, it can be challenging to shift
from feelings of failure to a positive learning experience. One
practical step you can take is to conduct a “post-mortem” or a
retrospective analysis of the situation. When you are in a calmer
mood, take time to reflect on what happened. What were the
circumstances leading to the outcome? What factors contributed to
the result?
A wise friend or a therapist might offer the same counsel, but
with AI you feel secure in having control over how you pose your
questions, your willingness to cooperate with AI’s suggestions,
and all the feelings that surround a disappointing setback. In fact,
ChatGPT goes on to amplify what you can do moving forward.
Identify lessons: Identify specific lessons or insights
from this experience. What did you learn about yourself, your
approach, or the situation? Were there any skills or knowledge
gaps that became apparent?
Actionable takeaways: Determine actionable takeaways
from this analysis. What steps can you take to improve or
prevent a similar situation in the future? It could involve
acquiring new skills, adjusting your approach, seeking advice,
or enhancing communication.
Implement changes: Implement the changes or
improvements you’ve identified. This might involve seeking
additional training, adjusting your workflow, seeking
mentorship, or changing how you approach similar tasks.
Now you have in hand the template that will apply to every
strategy that follows:
Inspiration
Affirmation
Self-reflection
Taking action
There’s a great deal to say—and to be inspired by—as our
journey continues, but, in a sense, learning to embrace change is
the golden key. Evolution is change, and change means choices.
When reduced to its essence, everything on the path stems from
that one insight.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
The most profound role AI can play is the role of guru. Even at this early
stage of AI’s development, chatbots have access to the entire Indian
spiritual tradition. It would offer the most help, however, to ask AI to distill
this vast knowledge into practical exercises that you can use on the path.
I asked ChatGPT to cover seven areas of spiritual interest with guided
meditation inspired by the seven strategies. Here is the first application,
with the hope that you will invent your own prompts—this is only a starting
point.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Building Awareness.
ChatGPT
Building Awareness
Setting: Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down, where you won’t
be disturbed.
Focus: Begin by focusing on your breath, noticing the natural rhythm of your
inhalations and exhalations.
Visualization: Imagine a radiant, glowing light at the center of your being,
representing your inner awareness. With each breath, this light becomes
brighter, expanding to fill your entire body.
Mantra: Silently repeat the mantra So Hum (which means “I am That”) with
each inhale and exhale, aligning yourself with the universe.
Reflection: Observe any sensations, thoughts, or emotions that arise,
acknowledging them without judgment and returning your focus to your
breath and the light within.
STRATEGY #2
Put Your Ego on Notice
The problem of the ego is peculiar because it is very near and very far away
at the same time. “I, me, and mine” are always with us, but we fail to notice
that they have an agenda. This agenda doesn’t consult what your dharma is,
or even take it into consideration. What “I” wants right this moment is
announced loud and clear, either as a desire you want to fulfill or a source
of pain you want to avoid. There has never been a time when your ego
didn’t want something, but you are fooled into thinking that you’re the one
who is in charge.
The force of Dharma runs much deeper, which is necessary, because on
the surface, an unending stream of wants, needs, and demands is self-
perpetuating. There’s a lot to come to terms with here, which is why most
people aren’t able to find a way past the ego’s constant message—“more for
me.” There is also confusion between the words “ego” and “egotism.”
Unless you act very full of yourself, no one is ever likely to turn to you and
say, “You have an ego problem.” Yet one of the biggest “aha” moments on
the path comes when you recognize that your ego is a problem. In some
ways, it is the problem, because your ego’s agenda stands in the way of
your evolution.
Some traditions, especially in Buddhism, are rich in how they describe
the subtlety of the psychological games that the ego plays, but such a
complex treatment isn’t necessary. We’ve touched already on “I” and “It”
being your constant companions on the path (see this page). “I” stands at
the center of the story you have built around yourself since early childhood.
By contrast, “It” stands for the silent impulse of pure awareness, the pull of
the Higher Self, and the urge to evolve. Both forces are acting upon you all
the time, in ways that are fundamentally incompatible.
“I” wants you to look out for number one.
“It” shows you how to go beyond selfishness.
“I” warns you that the world is a dangerous place.
“It” sees you as a privileged child of creation.
“I” is obsessed with the desire to maximize pleasure and minimize
pain.
“It” shows you the eternal bliss that hides behind the mask of pleasure
and pain.
As far as your ego is concerned, you would upset the applecart if you
started listening to “It.” Once it dawns on you that your ego is a problem,
you have to ask yourself what to do about it. Here is where the tricky part
begins. You and your ego are fused so tightly that it has become
indispensable. One of the toughest spiritual exercises is to go an entire day
without saying the word “I.” (Even if you managed it, everyone around you
would think you were being very strange.) A simpler exercise is more
fruitful. Watch yourself and notice how many times you use the following
verbal formulas:
I want X. I don’t want Y.
I like this. I don’t like that.
I really care. I don’t care.
I agree. I disagree.
I feel good. I feel bad.
It doesn’t matter whether you use these exact words or not. What all
these verbal formulas have in common is that they keep “I” exactly where it
wants to be, at the center of your existence. The voice of the ego is
constantly playing in your head, so it has become second nature. The tricky
part is how to hear “It” without “I” filtering the message and twisting it
around. The ego is like a perverse switchboard operator. Instead of putting a
telephone call through, the operator starts telling you what you want to hear.
On the dharmic path, you need a strategy for putting your ego on hold so
that the impulse of evolution registers with you. Otherwise, “I” is just
putting on another disguise, the disguise of the spiritual seeker, the virtuous
do-gooder, the selfless saint, or the wise knower who has figured out how
life really works.
AI can give us a condensed summary of all this.
For spiritual seekers, the ego is seen as an obstacle. Tell me why in 50
to 75 words.
ChatGPT
In spiritual seeking, the ego is viewed as a barrier because it reinforces attachment
to the self, fostering separation, desires, and fears. It obscures the true nature of
existence, hindering the quest for deeper connections, empathy, and enlightenment.
By transcending the ego’s limitations, seekers aim to attain a more profound
understanding of the self and interconnectedness with the universe.
Whether this answer sounds alien or familiar depends upon your
background, particularly your religious background. The Judeo-Christian
tradition doesn’t explicitly use the word ego, shunting the issue into
questions about sin and redemption. Instead of the ego being the source of
temptation, the sinner is, going back to Adam and Eve eating the fruit of the
tree of knowledge of good and evil. Instead of “transcending the demands
of the ego,” the Christian ideal is to be in the world but not of it, which says
the same thing. The cherished goal of redemption is to leave the sinner
behind so that the purified soul reaches Heaven.
By contrast, Eastern traditions are more direct, as a question put to AI
reveals.
Briefly define the Buddhist concept of ego death.
ChatGPT
“Ego death” in Buddhism refers to the dissolution of the illusory sense of a
permanent, independent self. It’s the realization that the self is impermanent,
constantly changing, and lacks inherent existence. Through practices like meditation,
one aims to transcend the ego, recognizing its transient nature and achieving a state
of liberation from attachment and suffering.
In the modern secular world, many people don’t feel the influence, much
less the pressure, of a religious background. Good and bad consequences
flow from this, which one can argue over endlessly. But one psychological
advantage is undeniable if you didn’t inherit a strong religious tradition.
Religions impose secondhand beliefs on the devout, and if this burden is
lifted, the problem of the ego can be seen in a clearer light.
The Riddle of Desire
The reason that you want anything is because your ego wants it. A constant
stream of desires, large and small, runs through the mind. Desires aren’t
merely distractions. They are the core of everyday life. The ego’s refrain of
“I want this” and “I don’t want that” is inescapable. The spiritual
implications are briefly summarized by AI.
In Eastern traditions, what is the connection between the ego and
desire? Using simple language, tell me in 50 to 75 words.
ChatGPT
In Eastern traditions like Buddhism and Hinduism, the ego and desire are closely
linked. The ego thrives on desires, making us feel separate and needy. Desires,
whether for things or ideas, create a cycle of longing and dissatisfaction, causing
suffering. By letting go of desires, these traditions teach that we weaken the ego’s
hold and find peace, aiming for liberation from the constant chase after fulfillment.
It is very clear, and has been for many centuries, that desire is considered
a form of bondage in Eastern traditions. (The closest Christian equivalent is
the seven deadly sins—greed, lust, and gluttony are connected with
excessive appetite. More indirect are pride, sloth, envy, and wrath, but they
can easily be translated into the desire to be better than others, the desire to
be lazy, the envious desire to have what someone else has, and so on.)
Getting free from the clutches of desire reveals a riddle that seems
impossible to solve. You can’t actually live without desire, beginning with
the basics of survival (the desire for food, home, and shelter from the cold)
and extending to the desire for love, sexual gratification, affection, respect,
and self-esteem. To the ego, fulfilling these desires makes life worth living.
So the problem isn’t that people greedily want to amass more money,
possessions, status, and power. The problem is how to relate to desire in the
first place.
If you are honest with yourself, the prospect of renouncing desire holds
no appeal, even if you consider yourself deeply spiritual. You can seek a
mountain retreat or forest ashram, but desire will follow you doggedly.
Wanting to be close to God is a desire, too, and so is wanting
enlightenment. The ego views everything as an either/or choice, including
the either/or of being worldly or spiritual. You have automatically adopted
this viewpoint through habit and indoctrination. What has been missing is a
different perspective.
Adopting an evolutionary perspective is essential to progress beyond
your existing patterns of behavior. We can specify what this new
perspective should be like. It shouldn’t ask you either to struggle against
your desires or to give in to them. It should be satisfying to follow. It should
give you a higher view of yourself.
Here are four principles that outline an evolutionary approach, based on
being more aware of how desire can work for you on the path:
Be aware of the cycle of desire.
Examine your impulse control.
Measure the fulfillment of desire by the joy it brings you.
Give priority to your highest aspirations.
These four precepts apply to any desire you want to address, although it is
only reasonable to respect the difference between craving the latest iPhone
model and desperately wanting an opioid fix. The grip of addiction or a
desire that has become self-defeating, perhaps even self-destructive, calls
for professional intervention. But there is still a wide range of desires that
can be addressed, and you need to if you want to listen to “It” rather than
“I.”
Be Aware of the Cycle of Desire
The lure of any desire begins with its immediacy. Desires want you to act
now. Delay is frustrating and only serves to double the intensity of the
desire. This is part of the ego’s power and shouldn’t be related to adolescent
hormones in the case of sexual desire or primitive impulses like anger,
envy, male dominance over other males, etc. The real issue is a failure to
look beyond the moment. Once you do, you become aware that “I want this
now” is just the first step in a predictable cycle.
First comes the immediate feeling of wanting something.
You act in pursuit of the thing you want.
You get it and are satisfied.
The satisfaction wanes.
Once this happens, room is made for the cycle to begin all over again.
The cycle of desire is natural and operates every day in how we eat, for
example. You feel hungry; you get something to eat; it feels satisfying;
satiation gradually wears off; and you find that you are hungry again. Being
aware of this basic rhythm is helpful in the psychological treatment of
obesity, where the person who habitually overeats is asked to wait until he
feels hungry. If the cycle is curtailed, eating becomes a habit divorced from
its natural cycle (for instance, when somebody “eats their emotion” as a
quick fix for feeling bad). Then no matter how much you eat, there is no
satisfaction that has any lasting effect. That’s when people say, “I can’t
believe I just ate that.” Nothing good was attained.
Many desires are turned into similar problems as overeating, including
sexual desire, the urge to win, wanting more money, and seeking control.
Hypercompetitive people aren’t satisfied by winning. It has become a fix
that is practically meaningless but is fueled by a compulsive drive. (Next
time you watch a competitive sport, whether it is football, soccer, baseball,
or tennis, notice the expression on the face of the winners. It is more often
angry than happy, reflecting a warrior mentality that is motivated by
crushing an enemy rather than rejoicing in the victory.)
With this in mind, begin to anticipate where the cycle of desire is taking
you. You are replacing a reflex—responding to the immediate urgency of a
desire—with self-awareness.
Examine Your Impulse Control
Most eruptions of violence, whether it concerns a fight on the playground,
domestic abuse, or an incident of road rage, involve the loss of control.
Being a mature adult means having a measure of control over your
emotions, but the issue goes deeper than that. Desires arise as impulses,
which in young children hold sway until they learn through their parents
that there is a second stage, where the impulse is examined. The mind goes
through reasons for accepting or rejecting the impulse.
Some reasons are primitive. I might get caught. I might be punished.
Mommy and Daddy will get mad at me. These are familiar thoughts and
patterns from early childhood.
At some point, higher considerations enter into the picture as we grow
older. I might feel guilty. This didn’t work out so well the last time. I don’t
want to look bad.
When we are mature adults, moral reasoning and a personal code govern
our actions. This is wrong. I will regret it tomorrow if I give in. I couldn’t
live with the guilt. I have a responsibility to others for what I do.
However, such neat categories don’t apply in real life. As adults, we hear
childish, immature voices urging us to go ahead despite the warning mature
voice that knows how badly things might turn out. A stronger sense of
impulse control would save people from rashly saying things in a
relationship that can never be taken back. In turn, fewer of us might not
cheat in business, lie on tax returns, or cheat on a partner or spouse.
Unfortunately, maturity isn’t the same as self-awareness. Mature people
act from the level of ego all the time. Fighting against your desires and
trying to rein in your impulses aren’t good long-term tactics. Desire only
grows stronger when it is suppressed. The answer is to be aware that desires
are ultimately about feeling fulfilled, which can only become lasting
through closer contact with the source of all fulfillment in pure awareness.
Measure the Fulfillment of Desire by the Joy It Brings You
Desire brings happiness in one of two ways—either at the start or at the
end. If you feel joy by having a desire that enhances your life, that is more
secure than waiting for the eventual outcome. You are motivated from the
start. Waiting for a result is a fickle proposition by comparison. Here’s a
short list of blissful desires that will enhance your life:
Wanting the best for someone else
Desiring peace and an end to violence
Helping to heal a fractured friendship
Wanting your children to be happy
Seeing the best in others
Lowering the level of stress around you
Wanting to be of service
It is entirely possible to have any of these desires without feeling joy.
You can want peace because the prospect of war and violence makes you
feel despair. You can decide to reconcile with a friend who is mad at you
while still believing that you are right and the friend is wrong. Spiritually,
the trajectory of any desire is directed by the motivation that goes into it at
the start. There’s all the difference in the world between feeling overjoyed
at the prospect of having a baby and wanting to have a baby because your
marriage is on the rocks. Using pregnancy as a fix for relationship problems
never works. The strain only becomes worse once the baby arrives and
caring for a newborn brings up new stresses.
One of the tragic aspects of addiction is that the drug of choice, which
began by bringing a jolt of pleasure, eventually stops delivering that effect.
The craving for the drug continues (we can amplify the meaning of “drug”
to include sex, food, or the overwhelming need to win), but any so-called
benefit has been extinguished. What is left is pure compulsion. The drive
for the next fix is everything.
As dire as addiction is, normal desires ultimately pose the same
drawback of diminishing returns. The goals that society approves of—
acquiring money, success, status, power, and possessions—become an end
in themselves. Stories filter through the media of grotesque extreme
behavior. For example, after Ferdinand Marcos was deposed as dictator of
the Philippines in 1986, press reports took note of Imelda Marcos’s lavish
wardrobe, said to include 15 mink coats, 508 gowns, 888 handbags, and
3,000 pairs of shoes.
What this underscores is the disconnect between wanting something and
getting it. In between, there is a lack of fulfillment. You can repeat your
behavior over and over, wanting more and getting more, but the missing
element only becomes more glaring. Whatever power Imelda Marcos
accrued through unlimited acquisition, she was a puppet of desire.
On the path, you measure fulfillment by the joy your desire brings you.
A joyful desire is well on its way to a joyful conclusion. Being aware of this
can make a great difference.
Give Priority to Your Highest Aspirations
By now, this idea will sound familiar to you. The worth of being on the path
is to make room for love, compassion, empathy, creativity, and the other
highest impulses that arise from pure awareness. But it is easy to
underestimate how mechanically we repeat the same pattern of desire
without sorting those desires into the best priorities. One aspect of deeper
wisdom is that intention has hidden power. Consciousness is an infinite
field that everyone shares. If the majority of people inject prejudice, ill will,
and hatred into the field, those impulses register, and what bounces back is
a reflection of what went in. The adage about writing computer software,
“Garbage in, garbage out,” is entirely applicable to your intentions.
In situations that became historical tragedies—antisemitism in Germany,
apartheid in South Africa, racism in the American South—terrible actions
were taken by a minority of the population. The “good people” passively
went along or turned their backs. They attempted to keep up the appearance
of normal life by denying the rot at the core of their society. Passivity and
denial feel like safe havens. But Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous adage
exposes the truth: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for
good men to do nothing.”
On the path, you are aware of your intentions as if they were actions—
thinking, after all, is a mental action. Through awareness you create an
opening for your highest aspirations in a simple way: You pause when you
detect a damaging intention and stop favoring it. Here are the kinds of
damaging intention all of us might easily overlook or even promote:
Wanting an enemy punished
Considering violence to be necessary
Spreading juicy or malicious gossip
Wanting to reveal a secret told in confidence
Indulging in revenge fantasies
Clinging to bad memories
Reliving old traumas
Harboring resentment in your relationship
Being tempted to do what you know to be wrong
Excusing yourself from doing what you know to be right
Letting guilt and shame fester
I don’t mean for this list to be daunting. It serves as a reminder that the
active mind is haphazard, restless, and unpredictable. It has no way of
governing itself, and if you push to impose control, the forbidden thoughts
seek cover for a while, waiting for the next opportunity to rise again.
What you pay attention to grows. By pausing as soon as you notice a
damaging thought, you stop giving it more fuel. If you have a moment, you
might look at the thought and reflect on it. Why do you have a revenge
fantasy? What good is it really doing? How does it make you feel? The
more you reflect, the more you drain away the power of a damaging
intention. As a secondary benefit, you feel good about quashing bad
intentions. Such interventions might seem small at first, but over time you
will find that you trust your desires to be life-supporting. That’s a major
advance on the evolutionary path.
On Your Path
To put it simply, letting your ego be the boss keeps you enthralled
in the cycle of desire. But there is a way out. Taking power away
from your ego breaks the bonds and allows desire, which is a
natural part of life, to return to its role as your ally on the path. AI
gives very clear guidance here.
If I am on the spiritual path, how can desire be my ally instead of an
obstacle?
ChatGPT
Desire can indeed be a powerful force on the spiritual path, and
whether it is an ally or an obstacle depends on how you approach
and manage it. Here are some ways to make desire your ally on
your spiritual journey:
Practice self-awareness: Start by understanding your desires.
What are you truly longing for? Is it material wealth, emotional
fulfillment, or spiritual growth? Self-awareness can help you
differentiate between fleeting, ego-driven desires and deeper,
soulful yearnings.
Align with higher values: Channel your desires toward spiritual
growth and self-improvement. Align your desires with values
such as love, compassion, wisdom, and inner peace. When your
desires are in harmony with these values, they can become
powerful tools for personal transformation.
Set intentions: Instead of chasing after desires aimlessly, set
clear intentions. Define what you want to achieve on your
spiritual path and why it matters to you. Intentions can help you
stay focused and make better choices.
Detach from outcomes: One of the main obstacles desire
presents on the spiritual path is attachment to outcomes.
Practice detachment by accepting that the results may not
always match your desires. Trust in the journey and the lessons
it brings.
Practice mindfulness: Cultivate mindfulness to observe your
desires without judgment. Mindfulness helps you become aware
of your desires as they arise and allows you to respond
consciously rather than react impulsively.
Practice gratitude: Gratitude can help shift your focus from
what you lack to what you have. Regularly express gratitude for
the blessings in your life, which can reduce the intensity of your
desire for more.
Surrender and trust: Trust the universe or your spiritual beliefs
to provide what is truly necessary for your growth. Surrendering
to the flow of life and trusting in divine wisdom can ease the grip
of desire on your consciousness.
Use desire as a motivator: Instead of letting desire hold you
back, use it as a motivator for personal growth. Let your desires
inspire you to work on yourself, develop new skills, and make
positive changes in your life.
Seek guidance and community: Connect with like-minded
individuals and seek guidance from spiritual teachers or mentors
who have walked the path before you. Their wisdom can help
you navigate the challenges of desire on your journey.
Practice self-discipline: While desire can be a powerful ally, it
can also lead to distraction and indulgence. Develop self-
discipline to manage your desires and stay on track with your
spiritual goals.
Remember that desire itself is not inherently good or bad; it’s
how you relate to and manage your desires that determines
whether they become allies or obstacles on your spiritual path. By
aligning your desires with your higher purpose and practicing
mindfulness and self-awareness, you can harness their energy to
propel you forward on your spiritual journey.
These points are consistent with the vision being unfolded in
this book, and it is reassuring to see it being affirmed. You can
personalize each point by asking AI to give you an update every
day, choosing the point you’d like to focus on. Here’s an example
of setting up a dialogue rather than settling for a blanket answer.
Let’s take one point you made—using desire as a motivator. In simple
language, give me one quote that will inspire me today.
ChatGPT
“Let your desires fuel your determination, and watch your dreams
take flight.”
On the same theme, give me a single affirmation.
ChatGPT
“I harness the power of my desires to fuel my passion and drive
towards my goals.”
On the same theme, give me a question to reflect upon.
ChatGPT
“What is the burning desire within me that, if pursued with
unwavering determination, could lead me to my most meaningful
goals and dreams?”
Engaging in a conversation that continues for as long as you
like is always an asset with AI, but your aim should be to find a
response that inspires you or gives you a new insight. Here’s an
instance of what I mean.
Give me some wise words about desire. Cite a specific spiritual teacher,
guide, or authority.
ChatGPT
Here are some wise words about desire from the renowned spiritual
teacher and philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti:
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a
wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.”
Krishnamurti emphasizes the importance of a strong and focused
desire as a driving force for achieving one’s goals and aspirations.
That’s beautiful. Can you give me wise words from another spiritual
guide or teacher?
ChatGPT
Certainly! Here are wise words about desire from the Indian spiritual
teacher and leader Mahatma Gandhi:
“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is
full victory.”
Gandhi’s words remind us that the process of pursuing our
desires with sincere effort and dedication is where true satisfaction
and victory are found, rather than solely in the attainment of our
goals.
As you can see, going beyond useful information to a level of
personal inspiration is just as convenient. You are taking time in a
meaningful way to put your ego on hold, making room for an
evolutionary message to come through.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for Loving-
Kindness. Feel free to invent your own prompts once you use this one.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Loving-Kindness.
ChatGPT
Loving-Kindness (Metta)
Setting: Sit comfortably with your eyes closed, grounding yourself in the
present moment.
Heart space: Bring your attention to your heart, imagining it filled with a
warm, gentle light.
Mantra: Silently repeat Om Sarva Mangalam or it might be easier to repeat
phrases of loving-kindness toward yourself, such as “May I be happy, may I
be healthy, may I be at peace.”
Expansion: Gradually extend these wishes outward, first to loved ones,
then to acquaintances, and finally to all beings everywhere, envisioning
waves of loving energy radiating from your heart.
STRATEGY #3
Bend and Bounce Back
The reason that we put up with stress every day is that we want to put up
with it. At first blush, you might not agree with that statement. None of us
wants anxiety, worry, or pressure in our lives. However, modern society has
struck a deal where stress is the price we pay for certain rewards: the salary
a well-paying job pays, the security of having a family even though the
family might be severely dysfunctional, the comfort of a lasting relationship
even though nothing is more difficult than living with another person. All
these benefits of life come with a certain number of stressors. If you aren’t
aware of those stressors, the price paid rises higher over time, and the
rewards don’t balance it out. Is it worth making a lot of money if the stress
involved wrecks your health and family?
The typical advice is to learn better coping skills, and it is good advice.
Society, in general, doesn’t teach us how to cope; it is something we must
teach ourselves. On the path, however, we can develop a strategy that goes
much further than just coping. It begins with a saying that might or might
not come from Confucius but in any case is very old: “The green reed that
bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak that breaks in a storm.”
Stripped of its poetic veneer, this saying speaks to resilience—the
capacity to adapt and recover in the face of life’s challenges. We were
designed to be resilient; rigidity is a learned defense. Rigid people are
pretending to be strong to hide from how vulnerable and threatened they
feel inside. If you are afraid enough, you constrict your awareness like a
snail pulling into its shell. Fear is the enemy of evolution, which requires
expanded awareness.
AI can help to bring this notion closer to home.
People speak about expanded awareness. To make that real, I’d need to
know what it feels like. Tell me briefly in simple language.
Gemini
Instead of a narrow spotlight, your awareness becomes a wide, gentle floodlight.
You’re not just focused on one thing at a time, but holding the whole scene in your
mind, noticing everything that unfolds. Here’s what that might feel like:
Sensory richness: You’re more aware of subtle details—the warmth of the
sun, the scent of coffee, the faint hum of a bee.
Inner calm: You’re not constantly pulled by thoughts or emotions. There’s a
quiet space within, even amidst activity.
Presence in the moment: You’re not lost in the past or future, but fully
engaged in the present, savoring each breath.
Non-judgmental observation: You see things clearly, without immediately
labeling them as good or bad. You simply observe.
Openness and curiosity: You feel a gentle interest in everything around
you, a desire to learn and understand.
It’s like you’ve stepped back and gained a wider perspective on life, appreciating
the interconnectedness of everything.
This is just a glimpse. Expanded awareness is a personal journey, and its specific
sensations may vary. But hopefully, this gives you a basic idea of what it might feel
like to “floodlight” your awareness and experience the world in a richer, more present
way.
That’s a beautiful description, but what brings it within reach, practically
speaking, is learning to be more resilient. You have to test your boundaries
to make them expand. The experience isn’t like breaking down a wall but
leaning against it until it moves. Plaster and stone walls won’t give just by
leaning against them; however, mind-made walls do. I once heard an
optimistic saying that makes a good guiding principle: “Souls don’t break,
they bounce.”
When I was researching how people age for a book I was writing, I
discovered that aging is a mysterious process. No two people age alike,
even identical twins. There is no disease known as aging, and aging isn’t
fatal. We die because a major system or organ fails. At the moment that
happens, the vast majority of the body’s cells are working normally, perhaps
as much as 99 percent if there is a fatal heart attack or stroke in an
otherwise healthy body. But one confronts a unique mystery when it comes
to people who live to be a hundred.
Centenarians are rare—in the United States your chances of living to be
a hundred are around 1 in 5,000, and 85 percent of centenarians are women.
For everyone, longevity depends on a host of factors. Having good genes is
a start but not definitive. Other influences play a major role. In society
today, people smoke cigarettes less than older generations did, although
alcohol consumption per person is about the same as it was in 1990.
Modern medicine saves many more stroke victims who would have died in
the past. The list of external factors goes on, but what about on the inside?
I discovered that people who live to be a hundred are in many ways
models of resilience, which gets expressed in positive personality traits.
Here is an AI description of their general outlook on life.
Gemini
Adaptability and flexibility: Centenarians have witnessed significant
historical and social changes. Their ability to adapt and learn new things
might contribute to resilience and well-being.
Positive outlook and optimism: Many studies show a tendency toward
positive emotions, gratitude, and a sense of purpose, which might contribute
to mental well-being and longevity.
Emotional regulation skills: Centenarians might have developed effective
strategies for managing stress and negative emotions, contributing to
emotional stability and resilience.
A person can be lucky in the personality they were born with as well as
their genes, but something deeper is going on here. As a very select group
of society, centenarians seem more evolved. Their resilience, along with
their optimism, is a product of expanded awareness, not simply a series of
random factors. Life didn’t teach them—many old people become resigned,
bitter, or passive the longer they live. Other things happened “in here”
among centenarians. Typically they grow more conscientious than other
people; they place more value on meaningful social connections; they are
more in control of their emotions; and many live with a deep sense of
purpose.
It is unreasonable to declare that anyone who reaches a hundred was
necessarily on the path. The concept of a path didn’t exist in the West a
century ago, except in religious terms. What happened instead is the natural
process of awareness expanding when someone is attuned. To stay attuned
“in here” decade after decade only happens if you are resilient.
Learning As You Go
Instead of leaving the process to chance, you can consciously work on
becoming more resilient. To begin with, you must have a grasp on what it
feels like to be rigid instead. This puts you in touch with what needs to
become more flexible. When I asked Gemini for a simple index of personal
traits that separate rigid and flexible personalities, it came up with the
following:
Rigidity
I prefer well-defined routines and schedules.
I dislike changes in plans or unexpected situations.
I find it difficult to adapt to new information or perspectives.
I tend to stick to my established opinions and beliefs even when presented with
contrary evidence.
I struggle to cope with ambiguity or uncertainty.
Flexibility
I am open to trying new things and exploring different possibilities.
I can easily adjust my plans and routines when necessary.
I am comfortable changing my mind based on new information or understanding.
I embrace diverse perspectives and can adapt my communication style to
different audiences.
I find uncertainty exciting and see it as an opportunity for growth.
These general descriptions show you the direction you should be heading
in, toward more flexibility. Self-awareness begins with noticing. Whenever
you notice yourself being inflexible, pause and reconsider your response.
Inflexibility is associated with feeling tight and tense. You are likely to be
resisting someone or something. You hear yourself saying words you’ve
repeated many times before. You feel that you are right and someone else is
wrong.
Those signs are good indicators that you need to be more flexible. When
you pause to reconsider what you are doing or saying, take a deep breath
and let a new impulse come to your notice. If you are feeling tight and
tense, nothing might appear. You can still back off, retract your resistance,
and wait for a better frame of mind. Resilience is learned. Each time you
notice your inflexibility and back away, you are softening the mind-made
boundaries that constrict awareness. The evolutionary process is working.
On Your Path
With AI there is always the option of opening a conversation with
a chatbot about a personal issue, as we’ve done several times
already. Now I’d like to introduce an alternative, using a
hypothetical friend who stands in for you.
This is a familiar tactic in real-life conversations: “Let’s say I
have a hypothetical friend who has a crush on someone.” We
resort to this tactic to avoid embarrassment. But you can also get
insight about yourself this way. This is applicable to rigidity
because “my way” doesn’t like to be challenged and quickly
grows defensive.
We will put the burden on someone else who is rigid so that
you aren’t the target. ChatGPT has a lot to say here and to keep
its response from feeling like an impersonal laundry list, I’ll
comment on each point, turning the focus on you, the questioner,
instead of your hypothetical friend. Let’s jump right in.
I’d like to talk with you about my friend Bea. She is 62 and very bright,
having worked for years as a paralegal. Our friendship is under strain
because she is getting more and more opinionated, stubborn, and set in
her ways.
ChatGPT
It’s essential to approach the situation with understanding and
empathy. Here are some steps you can consider taking to address
the strain on your friendship with Bea:
1. Reflect on your own feelings: Take some time to think about
why Bea’s behavior is bothering you. Are her opinions and
stubbornness the primary issue, or are there underlying factors
that are contributing to the strain in your friendship?
We don’t tend to reflect but instead to react. A stubborn friend is
irritating, and if things get worse, it’s hard not to react with anger
and impatience. But turn the light on yourself. When you are in a
stubborn mood, don’t you feel justified? The voice that says, “I’m
not giving in,” is automatic. But you can turn inward and ask why.
There is always an opening for self-reflection.
Why do I feel like I can’t give in?
What makes me feel that I have to be right?
Is being rigid worth the price of alienating others?
Isn’t there a grain of fear behind my stubbornness?
2. Open communication: Honest and open communication is key
to resolving any issues in a friendship. Express your concerns to
Bea in a non-confrontational way. Use “I” statements to describe
your feelings and avoid making accusations. For example, you
could say, “I’ve noticed that our conversations have become
more challenging for me recently, and I feel like I can’t express
my thoughts and opinions freely. I value our friendship and want
to understand how we can improve our communication.”
If this advice seems reasonable, take the next step and ask how
well you are communicating with yourself. Every voice in your
head is talking to you from a fragment or microchip of your
awareness. Do you talk back? When fear, resentment, envy,
hostility, and insecurity speak, do you simply listen? Most people
do just that. They might struggle with a negative reaction, stuff
the voice down out of sight, turn their back, or go into denial.
These reactions aren’t the same as communicating.
When you hear a voice inside yourself, which might be like
words in your head or just a familiar impulse, you have the option
of having your say. These voices come from the divided self.
They represent old, conditioned reactions; holdovers from
childhood; and emotions we have been repressing. It takes
awareness to quell them and find a better place emotionally.
Here are replies you can pose if you really want to
communicate with these fragmentary parts of yourself:
Thanks for your input, but I don’t need you right now.
I’ve heard this before.
Why are you talking to me now?
Are you the me of today or a remnant of the past?
What do you want?
Tell me how I can make peace with you.
3. Listen actively: When you talk to Bea, make sure to listen
actively to her perspective as well. Try to understand why she
may have become more opinionated and set in her ways.
Sometimes, age-related changes or personal experiences can
influence a person’s behavior and beliefs.
The issue here is empathy. When someone close to you acts out
in an overt way, all too often you find your defenses going up.
You don’t want to hear it. You are fed up. It’s the same old thing
over and over. Tuning someone out becomes more automatic the
less you agree with them. Tuning in, on the other hand, requires
empathy.
Like most complex human qualities, empathy has more than
one aspect. It requires you to be open, non-judgmental, accepting
to at least a degree, and emotionally sympathetic. Turning inward,
how many aspects of empathy do you show to yourself?
Whenever you are self-critical, you are accepting the division
inside yourself that fosters blame, regret, self-doubt, and lack of
acceptance.
Logically, who is criticizing whom? There’s only you in there.
The judgmental part, the “me” that is hard on you, is a fiction, a
kind of Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll. Those two personas existed in the
same person, and they thrived in separation because neither had
anything to do with the other.
Being resilient means being easy on yourself the way you’d be
easy on someone you love. Getting there is a process, like
everything else. But your aim is clear from the start—bring
yourself into the state of wholeness that doesn’t buy into the
divided self. For example, when you hear yourself thinking I hate
myself, even casually, pause and respond with No, I don’t. This is
just an attitude I’m experiencing in the moment. The feeling will
pass.
Countering the impulse to be hard on yourself will feel unusual
at first, but it falls under the category of communicating with
yourself. The internal dialogue running through your head is old
business trying to interfere with new business. It’s the past trying
to leach energy from the present. Ideally, there is no internal
dialogue, because if you are in the present, you respond here and
now, not with leftovers from the past.
Here’s a sample of the kinds of thoughts you can firmly reject
out of hand:
I’m not good enough (smart enough, pretty enough, thin
enough, etc.).
I wish I were someone else.
I never learn.
Nothing ever goes my way.
If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.
If I had more money, everything would get better.
No one’s on my side.
I don’t really like myself.
Each of these self-defeating statements can be replaced by a
thought that shows empathy for yourself and also contains more
truth:
I’m good enough. Who says I have to be perfect?
Things do go my way sometimes.
People care for me when I take the time and effort to relate to
them.
I might not like myself at this moment, but it will pass.
Who appointed me as judge and jury against myself?
How do I make things any better by being so hard on myself?
It is a very good practice, whenever you hear a voice
deprecating or criticizing you in your head, to pause and replace
the criticism with a positive statement. Your inner critic is
repeating the past; your response is new and immediate,
rejecting statements that are rigid holdovers from a time that no
longer exists.
4. Find common ground: Emphasize the aspects of your
friendship that you both cherish and have in common. Focusing
on shared interests or memories can help reinforce your
connection and remind both of you why your friendship is
valuable.
This point is all about reconnecting. Reconnecting with a friend
by sharing common interests and memories isn’t the same as
reconnecting with yourself. Society offers no good models for
that. The reason that there is a disconnect “in here” goes back to
the divided self, which creates an internal dialogue where none
needs to exist.
Your mind is unified at the source. A thought or impulse rises,
expecting that you will notice it without distortion. But as it
moves toward your attention, there are filters that intervene or
distort the message. These filters are a haze of memories, habits,
beliefs, prejudices, secondhand opinions, and social
conditioning. Some are safeguards, which we’ve discussed
already as the ego’s attempt to make life predictable and
seemingly safe. Other elements are a hovering cloud of
assumptions you’ve picked up randomly over the years.
Like haze on a wintry road that blocks your view, mental haze
is confusing. Messages from your deeper self might not come
through at all, but, generally, you feel undecided. Pure love,
compassion, altruism, generosity, and empathy are hard to
connect with, much less act upon. We hesitate, pull back, and
have second thoughts.
Part of resilience is clarity, and to create clarity, you can’t
spend your time trying to sort out mental haze. The tactic that
works is to always act on your highest impulse. Then it doesn’t
matter that you hear conflicting or confused messages inside. Do
the loving, generous, compassionate, empathic, altruistic thing,
even though the impulse isn’t pure. It will be pure enough.
5. Respect differences: It’s natural for friends to have differing
opinions and beliefs. Remember that diversity in thought can be
enriching and that you don’t have to agree on everything. Try to
respect Bea’s viewpoints, even if you don’t share them.
The gist here echoes Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous quote “A
foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Consistency
isn’t a positive trait in and of itself. If you insist on repeating the
same reactions, the same opinions, and even the same words, by
definition you are being rigid. But look at how often we keep on
repeating behavior that got us nowhere in the first place.
That is what happens in relationships that circle back to the
same arguments time and again, with neither partner finding a
way to break the cycle. The same happens “in here.” Take a
problem like weight loss, which millions of people struggle with.
There is a war going on inside between the impulse to overeat
and the desire to “be good.” If this war could be settled, it would
have been long ago. But the clash of differences gets repeated
incessantly.
Abandon repetition when it doesn’t work. Give up consistency
for the sake of consistency. When you feel inner conflict, the
solution lies at a deeper level than the problem, and the point of
personal evolution is to find this deeper level so that it can work
for you.
6. Set boundaries: If there are specific topics or behaviors that are
causing friction, consider setting boundaries in your
conversations. Let Bea know which subjects are off-limits or how
you’d like to approach contentious topics in a more constructive
manner.
On the path the issue of boundaries is tricky. The ego imposes
mind-made boundaries born of fear and insecurity. Your source in
pure awareness is unbounded. As you evolve, you don’t attack
the boundaries that keep your mind closed and constricted.
Attack only makes their resistance stronger, and you are faced
with pushback.
What works is to allow awareness to soften and melt away
mind-made boundaries. Yet during this process, you will still be
living with all kinds of boundaries, and some are beneficial.
Among these are the boundaries of
Respecting other people’s space and having them respect
yours
Not intruding with advice when it isn’t welcome
Rejecting offensive speech, especially when it carries some
kind of prejudice
Refusing to engage in wrongdoing
Resisting the temptation to lie or cheat
Maintaining your self-esteem
Speaking your truth
These boundaries are not meant to be rigid. You can be tolerant
and flexible while still holding your ground.
7. Seek compromise: If disagreements arise, look for
compromises or ways to agree to disagree without damaging
your friendship. Finding middle ground or acknowledging that you
both have valid perspectives can help ease tension.
When and how to compromise when it comes to relationships
poses a daily challenge. Sometimes there’s no common ground
between “my way” and “your way,” and the more rigidly you stick
to your way largely determines how well you relate in the social
world as well as at home behind closed doors.
Turning the same challenge inward takes most people into
uncharted waters. To compromise with yourself sounds peculiar,
although we do it all the time. In a restaurant, there is the
compromise between no dessert and the most fattening
chocolate temptation on the menu. Choosing a movie everyone
will like, leaving early enough to be on time, packing enough for
the beach but not too much—these situations crop up
continually.
Other compromises call for negotiation, which is the point
here. Being resilient doesn’t mean you sacrifice your principles or
go back on promises you made to yourself. It means negotiating
between two impulses that are both valuable and speak for
themselves. Conflict resolution is the only way to avoid the
outbreak of war and also the only way to get out of a war without
both sides annihilating each other (painful examples face the
world as I am writing these words).
Every external conflict reflects an internal one. Take any hot-
button issue like gender equality, racial justice, abortion, or
immigration. If you take one side of the issue and see no room for
compromise, you are being rigid. If you can see both sides and
weigh their pros and cons, you are being resilient. Only after this
process of weighing and balancing takes place are you in a
position to act. But personal evolution goes further than even
that. There is a level of awareness where the solution to any
problem emerges clearly and it isn’t arrived at by debate,
weighing pros and cons, or negotiations. On the path, you move
in the direction of connecting to the level of the solution, which
begins by not being immersed in the level of the problem.
8. Spend quality time together: Make an effort to spend time with
Bea in non-contentious situations. Engaging in enjoyable
activities or simply having lighthearted conversations can help
strengthen your bond.
Many people find it easier to spend quality time with someone
else than with themselves. Much of this can be traced to stress
and the epidemic of central nervous system overload (see this
page). It is easier to rein in a slow pony than a racehorse. The
same applies to the mind. The more active, stressed, and
overloaded your mind is, the less space there is for quality time
with yourself.
Here, quality time begins with downtime. You need to create a
few moments several times a day when you do nothing but sit
quietly. If you can, merge downtime with meditation taken in short
bursts throughout the day. Then there is creative time, devoted to
a hobby or an art that brings you unqualified pleasure. The more
you consider it, quality time implies intimacy, communion, peace
and quiet, and private communication. You’d want all of these
things with someone you love. They should be extended to
yourself as well.
9. Give it time: Changing long-standing behaviors and attitudes
can be challenging. Be patient and give Bea some time to adjust
to the idea of compromising or being more open-minded.
Tension is an unnatural state for the body, and given the first
opportunity, your muscles will relax and tension will be released
through sleep. Time isn’t doing this. The body’s natural instinct
for returning to a normal state of balance is responsible.
Giving the mind time to return to a balanced state also doesn’t
call upon some special property of time. Strong states like
depression, grief, and trauma get better because the mind works
its way back to normality, if allowed to. You can aid the process
by being open to getting better, but largely the responsibility lies
in your deeper awareness. You don’t let go of grief; it lets go of
you.
The best way to help the process is to be open to it. This
means resisting the impulse to isolate yourself, avoid contact
with other people, push away helping hands, and stew inside. It’s
crucial to treat yourself with kindness and patience. Instead of
waiting passively for time to heal, embrace resilience with the
understanding that you have the inner strength to recover. This is
the nature of profound self-awareness—it enables you to rebound
by connecting you with your core.
10. Consider professional help: If the strain in your friendship
persists and you both find it difficult to resolve the issues on your
own, you may want to consider seeking the help of a professional
mediator or therapist to facilitate your communication and
address underlying concerns.
For many people, this is the hardest decision to make. Therapy is
sought by only a fraction of the sufferers of depression, anxiety,
and trauma. It is beyond the scope of this book to talk about
chronic mental conditions that become severe. In the chapter on
healing, I will have a lot to say about mild to moderate mental
distress. Expanded awareness has the power to heal, as everyone
needs to discover.
The only comment that pertains to resilience is this: Keep an
open mind. No matter how resistant you are to seeking
professional help, there is nothing shameful about it. Nor should
you listen to the voice inside that says, “I’m not that weak. I can
take care of myself” or, at the opposite extreme, the voice that
says, “It’s hopeless. Nobody can help.” Both signal inflexible
attitudes that cannot be trusted.
Human nature reflects Nature as a whole. You are designed so
that the weather of your psyche is as changeable as the weather
outside. There is nothing wrong with being under a cloud or
feeling a storm of emotions. But neither is meant to last forever. If
you are persistently the same—depressed, anxious, manic, angry,
hopeless, worried, or feeling trapped—for an extended period, be
open to seeking professional help. Resilience in this area can
save you years of pain and suffering.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for
Heartfulness. Feel free to invent your own prompts once you use this one.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Heartfulness.
ChatGPT
Heartfulness
Setting: Choose a serene place where you can sit quietly and undisturbed.
Heart centering: Close your eyes and focus on your heart area, breathing
gently and deeply into this space.
Light visualization: Picture a soft, nurturing light in your heart, growing
warmer and more luminous with each breath.
Emotional release: Allow any emotions or feelings to surface, offering them
into the light for transformation and healing.
Gratitude: Conclude by feeling gratitude for this moment and for the love
that resides within your heart.
STRATEGY #4
Trust the Process
In the Vedic tradition, Dharma is a hidden, silent force that constantly
influences you. The ability to hear and understand your inner voice is
inborn. We all consult our sense of right and wrong, good and bad, true and
false, and so on. But in the West there is no equivalent for Dharma, which
leads to very different attitudes about where a desire to evolve comes from.
This is especially noticeable when it comes to confronting life’s inevitable
challenges.
In the past, and especially in the West, people tackled their problems
head-on with a certain level of grit and determination. Today someone is
more likely to say “I’m processing” something or other. This phrase has
gained favor for good reason. It’s impartial; when you’re upset with
someone, saying you’re processing your anger sounds less reactionary and
less accusatory than “I’m still upset over what you did.” Words matter.
Choosing them wisely is important and the act of processing is like backing
into a neutral corner. There’s less risk that you will throw more fuel onto a
conflict or make a fragile situation worse.
On the path, however, processing becomes much more than a convenient
cliché—it’s an activity that calls on your deeper self. Personal evolution is
about bringing light to the places that lie in shadow. You are clearing up
confusion and laying inner conflicts to rest. This makes processing sound
like a very big deal, and it is. But there’s no reason for it to be
overwhelming. The whole point is to make evolving a natural part of your
reason for being here.
To be able to process your life as you are living it is a unique human gift.
No other creature is afforded such freedom. Exercising that freedom doesn’t
come with a set of instructions. As with much else, the ego takes over. In
the way people tend to use it, my process is the same as I’m doing things my
way. AI makes the same point.
In their personal lives, people will refer to “my process.” What do they
mean?
ChatGPT
When people refer to “my process” in their personal lives, they are typically talking
about their individual approach or method for accomplishing a task, making
decisions, or handling challenges.
In this vein, being in your process can be fruitful, no doubt. An artist
goes through their own process for painting a canvas, and no two artists are
exactly alike. Picasso was capable of turning out a drawing or painting
every day. Some meticulous portrait painters, on the other hand, have their
subjects sit for days, weeks, or, at the far extreme, months.
But the ego is quick to co-opt our best intentions and turn them into
something predictable and sage. Ironically, when someone says, “I’m
processing,” they generally mean the opposite of evolving. They’re
avoiding conflict, stalling for time, procrastinating, or unknowingly turning
over the same thoughts they began with. My process reinforces a fixed,
habitual way of approaching life and other people. As a small example,
studies have found that 70 percent of voters vote for the same political party
as their parents, and 80 percent continue to vote for the same party their
entire lives.
We need a higher, better, and more evolved way of processing.
A Matter of Trust
The critical issue comes down to trust. My way of doing things is something
you already trust. If you are particularly rigid, you might insist on my way
or the highway. At the very least, you already know where a worn groove
leads. The path isn’t like that—it is open-ended, fluid, unpredictable, and
spontaneous. A lion on the Serengeti Plain is never going to turn into a
lamb. A lion of industry might; it all depends. Human evolution by its very
nature is creative. The real issue is learning to trust the unpredictable when
the familiar is so much easier.
No one needs to be told that trust is a hot-button issue today. In an age of
faith, trust was a settled matter, a given. The devout trusted in God as the
ultimate decision-maker over their fates. In modern society, we defy fate by
taking control of our own lives. But that’s a precarious project. A lot can go
wrong, and there is very little you can genuinely trust. AI underscores this
point.
We live in untrustworthy times. Name the top ten things people say they
distrust the most.
ChatGPT
Distrust in various aspects of life can vary from person to person, but here are ten
common things that people may express distrust in:
1. Politicians and government officials
2. News and media outlets
3. Big corporations and businesses
4. Social media platforms and online privacy
5. Financial institutions and banks
6. Healthcare system and pharmaceutical companies
7. Internet security and data protection
8. Foreign governments and international relations
9. Religious institutions and leaders
10. Lawyers and the justice system
I’m sure you can scan this list and see more than a few points that mirror
your own distrustful attitudes. Without carrying things as far as believing in
conspiracy theories—although countless people do go that far—the
worldview that prevailed in an age of faith has been turned on its head
today. Placing your trust in a higher power isn’t the norm. Persistent
mistrust is.
When trust goes away, so does well-being. Through long exposure to a
torrent of disinformation in social media, it’s hard not to feel insecure. In a
world that’s not okay, are you still okay? The two things easily get blurred.
It creates insecurity to face so many areas of life that feel deceptive and
threatening. AI can put the situation starkly when it comes down to each of
us caught in this tangled web.
If a person cannot trust, what does that feel like? Tell me simply and
briefly.
ChatGPT
When a person cannot trust, they often feel anxious, uncertain, and guarded. They
may struggle to rely on others, worry about being deceived or hurt, and find it
challenging to form close relationships. This lack of trust can lead to emotional
distance and difficulty in feeling secure in their interactions and connections with
others.
People today find themselves in a double bind. They want to have trust
and distrust at the same time. A classic example centers once again on
American politics, where pollsters find that the majority of responders want
Congress to work together in a bipartisan way while the same responders
keep electing members to Congress who are bitterly partisan.
Distrust erodes relationships and does even deeper harm when you start
to distrust yourself. All of this can be remedied by learning to trust again.
The way out is through enlightened processing. You need a starting point,
which AI can instantly provide in the form of a quiz to show you how
trusting you are.
Give me a quiz so that I can find out if I am a trusting person. Limit it
to ten questions.
ChatGPT
Sure. For each question, choose the option that best describes your typical behavior
or feelings:
1. When meeting someone new, do you tend to:
a) Approach them with an open and friendly attitude.
b) Remain cautious until you get to know them better.
2. If a friend asks to borrow a significant amount of money, would you:
a) Lend it to them without hesitation.
b) Be hesitant and ask more questions before deciding.
3. How often do you believe people have good intentions?
a) Most people are generally well-intentioned.
b) People often have hidden agendas.
4. If someone you know makes a promise, do you usually:
a) Trust that they will follow through.
b) Doubt their commitment until they prove themselves.
5. When sharing personal information or secrets, do you:
a) Feel comfortable sharing with close friends and family.
b) Tend to be more guarded and selective about what you share.
6. If a stranger asks for assistance or directions, do you:
a) Offer help willingly.
b) Feel cautious and may hesitate before helping.
7. In a work or team setting, do you:
a) Trust your colleagues to do their part and contribute effectively.
b) Doubt their abilities and monitor their work closely.
8. When faced with a decision that requires trust, do you:
a) Generally lean toward trusting others.
b) Often need concrete evidence before trusting.
9. How often do you worry about being deceived or taken advantage of?
a) Rarely or almost never.
b) Fairly often or occasionally.
10. In romantic relationships, do you tend to:
a) Trust your partner fully until they give you a reason not to.
b) Have trust issues and find it challenging to fully trust someone.
Calculate Your Score
Count the number of “a” answers you selected.
Count the number of “b” answers you selected.
If you mostly answered “a”: You are likely a trusting person who tends to give
others the benefit of the doubt and believes in the goodness of people. If you mostly
answered “b”: You may have trust issues or be more cautious when it comes to
trusting others. You likely prefer to verify intentions or gather evidence before fully
trusting someone.
Soften the Memory
The path to trust must make its way through the dense forest of memory.
Stuck memories make the mind rigid. Negative experiences from the past
erect shields to ward off the return of old traumas. Processing this material
is a major part of your path. You must create access to your deeper
awareness. If you don’t, even the most loving impulses can feel threatening,
as if by expressing love you are making yourself too vulnerable. There’s an
immense feeling of relief when you can feel the purity of love and breathe
easy in your own mind. The same goes for the other impulses that arise
from pure awareness.
We won’t be talking much about karma in this book, but the cornerstone
of the doctrine of karma, as formulated over the centuries in India, is the
idea that life proceeds through strong impressions. In your awareness,
strong memories stand out. They last for decades, according to the doctrine
of karma, because a lasting impression has been made. Where are such
impressions stored? If you accept the mechanics of karma, strong
impressions (known as Samskara in Sanskrit) are stored in your deeper
awareness, out of sight but ready, at a moment’s notice, to send signals to
you like a beeping microchip.
Modern science can’t proceed without some kind of physical evidence,
and already it has been shown that powerful experiences create chemical
changes in the epigenome, the sheath of proteins that surrounds every
strand of DNA and serves like a rheostat to turn genetic activity up or
down. Yet both kinds of explanation come down to the same thing: The past
leaves impressions, and if the memory is strong enough, the present will be
overshadowed by the past, for good and for bad.
This issue fits perfectly with the Psychologist character on Character AI
that we consulted once before (see this page).
How does a person’s past haunt the present?
Psychologist
Our past shapes our present in innumerable ways. Our experiences, particularly
those that are traumatic or challenging, have the power to impact us on both a
conscious and an unconscious level. The more significant an event is to us, and the
more frequently it comes to mind, the more its echoes are heard as present.
As complicated as the human mind is, it is clear that distrust is anchored
in the past. The issue is how to soften old impressions so that the present
truly is present. Without resorting to a technical term like Samskara, the
Eastern tradition targets the damaging influence of old memories in specific
ways, as AI indicates.
In Eastern spiritual traditions, we are deeply influenced by our past
karma. What is recommended to lessen or soften this influence? Tell
me in simple wording in 50 to 75 words.
ChatGPT
To lessen the influence of past karma in Eastern spiritual traditions, one should
practice good deeds, meditation, and self-awareness. Engage in acts of kindness,
cultivate positive thoughts and actions, and seek forgiveness when needed.
Meditation helps in understanding and accepting past actions. Developing self-
awareness allows you to make better choices in the present, thus creating positive
karma for the future.
For modern people, the whole scheme of doing good deeds to soften bad
karma might sound mystical, and there is no getting around the fact that
karma is intangible. Ever since my childhood, I’ve seen the Indian attitude
toward karma border on superstition and fear (“Your bad actions are bound
to come back to punish you”), although it is equally a matter of faith to
accept the New Testament teaching that as you sow, so shall you reap.
What matters isn’t tradition but how your life is impacted now. One
aspect of the doctrine of karma that brings comfort is the idea that a cosmic
intelligence guides the operation of karma, saving the lessons that need to
be learned, good or bad, for the exact time when a person is ready to receive
them. Of course, this is no more provable than the Christian doctrine that
God looks after the fall of a sparrow or that Providence takes care of all
things.
The program outlined just now by ChatGPT, calling for meditation, good
deeds, positive thoughts, and self-awareness, is practical and conforms to
modern psychology as well. But few people are disciplined enough to carry
through such a program, and besides, it isn’t specific enough to affect your
situation right now.
What you need to process is the memory or impression that rises in the
present. You can’t lay out a map or a schedule for changing stuck
impressions the way you’d schedule spring house cleaning. Until they make
themselves known, usually one at a time, these old impressions lie dormant,
which is exactly where your ego wants them to remain, since this creates a
sense of security. The minute you are disturbed by a painful memory, this
sense of security is exposed as false.
To find a better way, let’s consider an example. Lying breaks down the
trust needed in a close relationship, and big lies create the kind of deep-
wounding impression that needs to be erased. An unhealed wound can
fester forever. I know a woman who was on a business trip abroad when she
suddenly realized intuitively that her husband was sleeping with her best
friend. When she got home and confronted him, the husband confessed,
promising her that it had only happened once and didn’t mean anything.
He was contrite. The best friend became a former best friend and
disappeared from the scene. The couple really did have a strong marriage,
and, eventually, feelings were smoothed over. But the time came when the
husband, in his early sixties, contracted a fatal brain cancer. On one of his
last days of clear awareness, the woman leaned over his bed and said, “Be
honest with me. Was it only once?”
In this story, the woman was wounded twice, first by her husband, then
by the memories that plagued her for years. In effect, the second wound
never healed. Now in her nineties, the woman comes from a generation for
whom processing, meditation, and finding your own spiritual path outside
organized religion were totally remote from everyday life.
For all of us, memory is what leads to self-wounding. This creates the
most damage when painful memories recur over and over. Let’s look at the
basic steps required to escape the lasting effect of being betrayed by a lying
spouse or partner, or whomever you feel closest to.
Forgiving the offender
Letting go of the wrong that was done to you
Feeling genuine trust once more
Experiencing an undamaged relationship in the future
For many people, perhaps most, these steps prove impossible. What
generally happens is that we accommodate. We work ourselves around to a
livable state so that the relationship can continue. The mind begins to accept
a series of rationalizations like the following:
“If he says it only happened once, I should try to believe him.”
“He’s a good person.”
“I still love him despite what happened.”
“I’ll give him a second chance.”
“There are good things in our relationship that I don’t want to lose.”
None of this is the same as processing. It’s more like buying time before
any real processing can begin. The same emotional baggage will be carried
forward. The relationship might go on if there is a reconciliation, but it
won’t go on the same way, and the next lie, even a small one, can be the last
straw. Marriage counseling has uneven results, usually because one of the
partners isn’t as willing to confront the situation (usually the guilty party).
At some point, we all are faced with lies, betrayal, loss of trust, trauma,
and memories of old hurts. To avoid emotional baggage, you’d have to feel
your hurt immediately, clear it, and have no lasting residue. No one does
that. Even if we learn better coping skills as adults, those aren’t the same as
processing skills. Most of us tolerate. We do not intentionally evolve.
Processing your emotional baggage takes self-awareness. Even the most
skilled therapist cannot instill self-awareness in another person. But we
shouldn’t fall into the trap of turning this into an either/or proposition:
Either I accommodate or I fight back, either I swallow my hurt or I lash out.
The process shows a way forward that works directly on the impressions
that old hurts leave behind.
This process is consistent with your path. It relies on trusting in a deeper
intelligence that wants you to heal and move forward. This intelligence
resides already in your consciousness. The reason that people don’t
discover this fundamental fact is that society doesn’t teach the way to get
there, and even spiritual traditions fall short.
Ancient spiritual traditions, East and West, don’t talk about processing.
They are concerned with higher matters and ultimate goals: getting to
Heaven, reaching enlightenment, and finding inner peace. From a modern
perspective, this leaves a wide gap between vision and reality. Emotional
baggage isn’t a new invention, nor is trauma—if anything, the average
person living at the time of Moses, Buddha, Jesus, or Muhammad led an
existence that confronted trauma every day in the form of potential
starvation, fatal disease, war, and abusive authority. Escaping the pain and
suffering of “normal” life was the main focus of spiritual teaching.
Today the challenge that faces you—and everyone on the path—is to
clear the way ahead. Your aim is to evolve every day, to be more present, to
lose your emotional baggage, and to find fulfillment. These are modern
goals, but they aren’t the primary purpose of traditional psychotherapy,
which concerns itself with disorders of mind, mood, and personality. Pain
and suffering become a disorder when they are extreme. Everyday suffering
falls into a different category. You needn’t consider it your lot in life or an
inescapable part of human nature to suffer. Put yourself in the hands of the
process, and let your own awareness show you how natural it is not to
suffer, simply by opening up to who you really are.
On Your Path
The process that can free you from your past doesn’t need to be
invented. It is built into the nature of consciousness. There are
certain traits in your own consciousness that you can rely on.
Consciousness becomes more knowledgeable when it gets
deeper.
At a certain level, consciousness knows everything.
All of its knowledge is available to you.
In fact, your deeper awareness is constantly sending you
messages.
Opening yourself to these messages softens the impressions
left by the past.
No method is better than this for finding freedom from your old
hurts, traumas, and bad memories.
To put it simply, the process melts away old, stuck impressions
the way that warm light of the sun melts snow and ice. The
alternative is to chip away the ice and shovel the snow, but all
that work won’t accomplish the task as easily and effortlessly. In
this case, sunlight is a symbol for self-awareness. As an infant,
you could be relieved of distress simply by having your mother
walk into the room. As an adult, the same thing might happen
with a loving look from your beloved, a tender touch, or
reassuring words. It is in the nature of consciousness to bring
itself back to a state of well-being if it is allowed to.
Your role is to trust the process, which begins by adopting an
attitude of acceptance. We can put this in the form of
affirmations:
I am open to what happens in the present.
I am going to be free of my past.
I connect with my deeper consciousness.
I do not need old, bad memories.
Anything I am aware of, I can change.
You may not rest easy now—most people aren’t able to, no
matter how fortunate their life circumstances—but that’s the state
of awareness the process develops. AI offers some helpful details
that remind us of how natural it is to find inner security.
When someone is able to rest easy and feel that they are in good hands,
what does this feel like?
Gemini
Resting easy and feeling in good hands is a beautiful and
multifaceted experience, one that can be described through various
senses and emotions:
Physical Sensations
Deep relaxation: Muscles loosen, tension melts away, and
a sense of heaviness settles over you, akin to sinking into a
warm bath. Your breath becomes slow and steady, a gentle
rhythm that echoes your inner peace.
Warmth and security: A feeling of being enveloped in
comfort and safety washes over you. Imagine a cozy
blanket on a chilly night, or sunlight filtering through leaves
on a warm day.
Lightness and buoyancy: A sense of weightlessness
might lift you as if worries and burdens have been gently
removed. You feel untethered and free to simply be.
Emotional State
Tranquility and peace: A deep sense of calm pervades
your mind and heart. Anxieties and worries fade, replaced
by a quiet confidence and knowing that things will be okay.
Trust and surrender: You let go of the need to control
everything and allow yourself to be fully supported. You trust
the person or situation to care for you and have your best
interests at heart.
Gratitude and appreciation: A wave of thankfulness
washes over you for the care and support you receive. You
recognize the value of being in good hands and appreciate
the peace it brings.
Metaphorical Experiences
Being held by gentle hands: Imagine strong yet kind
hands cradling you, offering unwavering support without
constricting your freedom. You feel protected and cared for,
yet still empowered to move and explore.
Floating on a calm sea: Picture yourself bobbing gently on
a serene ocean, the waves lapping against you without
threatening to overwhelm you. You feel at the mercy of the
currents, yet utterly confident in their ability to carry you
safely to shore.
Basking in the sun’s warmth: Imagine soaking up the
sun’s rays on a clear day, the warmth penetrating your skin
and filling you with a sense of well-being. You feel nourished
and cared for by a force beyond your control.
Ultimately, the feeling of being in good hands is unique and
personal. It’s a state of profound trust, security, and surrender, a
knowing that you are being looked after and can let go of the
burdens you’ve been carrying. It’s a feeling of peace that allows you
to simply be present and enjoy the moment, knowing that all is well.
In all our discussions about trust, it turns out that mistrust can
be traced back to not trusting yourself. Instead, you have
engaged in a back-and-forth with your ego, sometimes relying on
its reactions, sometimes doubting them. This kind of self-doubt is
actually built into the ego, which must pretend that everything is
under control. It takes two to play this game. In return for your
ego reassuring you that everything is okay (except when it
obviously isn’t), you pretend to trust it.
Why should you trust a silent process that wells up “in here”
and is out of your control? Because you already do. Without
awareness, you would not be able to live in the world. It takes
awareness to see the sky and hear crows in the treetops.
Otherwise, you would simply be a camera attached to a
microphone, lifeless instruments that cannot see or hear on their
own.
When you live in separation, the disconnect with your deeper
awareness abandons you to the ego’s agenda and the false claim
that “I, me, and mine” is totally capable of navigating through life.
In reality, even the ego is made of consciousness, and it owes its
fitful successes to those times when you allow consciousness to
resolve difficulties.
There’s a lot more to say about that, but everything begins by
trusting the process, because it will lead you back to complete
trust in yourself.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for Inner
Peace. Feel free to invent your own prompts once you use this one.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Inner Peace.
ChatGPT
Inner Peace
Setting: Find a peaceful spot where you can sit comfortably and
undisturbed.
Breath and silence: Begin by observing the natural flow of your breath,
allowing it to become slower and deeper by comfortable degrees. Don’t
strain; just let your breath naturally get more relaxed.
Lake visualization: Picture a serene, clear lake that reflects a perfect blue
sky. Each thought or disturbance is like a ripple on the lake’s surface that
gradually fades away, returning the lake to calmness.
Inner sanctuary: Within this tranquil space, feel a profound sense of peace
enveloping your being, a sanctuary you can always return to, within the
depths of your heart.
STRATEGY #5
Be Inward Bound
If someone asks you to be self-aware, you may not automatically agree that
this is the right course for your life. What if you wind up being self-
conscious instead, like showing up at a birthday party where everyone
brought a present but you? Perhaps worse, what if you wind up constantly
watching every little thing you do? That could lead to having second
thoughts about the next words that come out of your mouth.
You can keep piling up reasons for doubting self-awareness, beginning
with the old saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” (It isn’t.) But, in reality, no one is
asked to be self-aware, only to be more self-aware. The human mind is
designed to be self-aware. It is our natural state. Self-awareness tells you
that you are you. You recognize your face in the mirror because of self-
awareness. If you feel tired, cold, fresh, warm, happy, sad—anything, in
fact—self-awareness brings you the message.
On the path, you become more self-aware through two skills that are
developed internally: attention and intention. Attention is what you notice;
intention is what you decide to do. You notice that your dog is pawing at the
door (attention), which leads to taking him for a walk (intention). In every
case, attention comes first. Until you notice something, you can’t intend
what to do or say next. When you see a baby’s eyes dart around the room,
you are seeing a mind learning to pay attention.
The beauty of attention is that the more you notice, the more you can
evolve on the path. Other life-forms are constricted in the things they
notice. A giant anteater notices anthills to claw open and ignores everything
else that could be a source of food. A cat instantly notices a mouse but pays
no attention to what’s on TV (although it might perk up if there’s a mouse
on the screen).
We are designed to be aware, but paying attention is a skill, and like any
skill, it must be cultivated. Spend any time with someone suffering from
attention deficit disorder, and it becomes readily apparent how disabling the
condition can be. Imagine starting to read a menu and forgetting the first
four items you read when you get to the fifth. Consider watching a TV
show and having no idea where the story is going because a commercial
intervened and you lost the thread of the plot.
AI helps to show how sharp the distinction is.
You are a psychologist with a patient who has ADD, attention deficit
disorder. What kind of problems does your patient report? Tell me in
simple language in under 75 words.
ChatGPT
My patient with ADD may report problems with focusing and staying on task,
forgetfulness, difficulty organizing tasks, impulsivity, trouble following through on
commitments, and challenges with time management. They might also describe
feeling overwhelmed by a constant stream of thoughts and distractions, which can
impact their daily life and relationships.
Now contrast all these distressing experiences with their opposite.
You are a middle-school teacher with a bright pupil, Diane. She is very
attentive and alert. Describe what her experience might be in under 75
words.
ChatGPT
Diane likely experiences a keen ability to stay focused on lessons and tasks. She
may find it easier to grasp and retain information, participate actively in class
discussions, and complete assignments promptly. Her attentiveness can lead to a
deeper understanding of subjects and make learning an enjoyable experience.
Diane’s alertness enables her to absorb knowledge effectively and engage in school
activities with enthusiasm.
Once you have developed the skill of paying attention, it is easily
translated into self-awareness.
Rather than being good at gathering knowledge in school, Diane is
good at gathering self-knowledge. Please describe her experience in
under 100 words.
ChatGPT
Diane likely experiences a keen ability to stay focused on her thoughts and feelings.
She may find it easier to understand what she is thinking and feeling, and to learn
from it. She actively follows changes in her awareness and is present in the moment.
Her self-awareness can lead to a deeper understanding of other people and how
their psychology works. She can engage with insight in discussions about personal
development because she has absorbed her own experiences so deeply.
The two profiles could hardly be more different, but society is more
focused on the problem of ADD, particularly in children, than on the
positive side, learning how to develop awareness skills. Life becomes short-
attention-span theater. This issue can be expressed as a menu of bad habits.
The Habits of Paying Short Attention
You tune people out as soon as they start to bore you.
You leave projects half-finished.
You avoid reading books because they take up too much time.
You text all day and expect immediate responses.
You only want to hear the bare outline of a new topic, assignment, or
challenge.
You prefer distractions like video games, TikTok, and short YouTube
videos that need only quick, brief moments of attention.
You quickly get bored in meetings and contribute little to team
assignments.
You multitask.
You only half-listen to what your partner/spouse is saying, on the
assumption that you can predict it anyway.
If you see any habits on this list that pertain to you, the first step is to
recognize them with the intention of expanding your attention. For instance,
take inventory of all the time you spend on social media or watching TV.
How often do you scroll through Instagram? How long do you stay on each
post on average? What type of programming do you watch without any real
interest?
To give another example, ask yourself if you have trouble listening to
friends or your partner. Does your attention trail off? Do you feel the need
to look at your phone during a lull in the conversation?
Don’t pass judgment, but realize that if you can’t pay attention to the
world around you for more than a minute at a time, you won’t be able to
pay attention to what is going on inside your awareness. You will only be
conscious of the mind’s scattered, transient activity.
The second step is to break the habit. None of these behaviors are true
addictions, although we might casually say something like, “I’m addicted to
my smartphone.” Making a change is mostly just a matter of tuning in
what’s important for you instead of tuning out. Tuning out is learned, and
whatever you taught yourself to do, you can unlearn. No doubt society
encourages short attention spans: TV commercials are now much more
numerous but shorter than in past years, while in a typical movie, each shot
lasts around 4 seconds, compared to 9 seconds in 1960. Social media and
texting compound the pervasive conditioning that makes it necessary to
consciously pay attention longer and with dedicated intention to doing so.
Deeper Self-Awareness
You inherited the ability to be self-aware, but you didn’t necessarily inherit
how to value self-awareness to the point that you take the time to deepen it.
It is impossible to go back to the ancient roots of the world’s spiritual
traditions, yet somehow the major Western religions (Judaism, Christianity,
Islam) are based on revelation, while the major Eastern religions
(Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism) are based on insight. One tradition looks to
an outside power—God—to reveal the truth. The other looks inward for the
truth. (Hinduism has a popular tradition based on numerous gods and
goddesses, but these are all symbolic of cosmic consciousness, which is
present in everyone.)
This East-West divide isn’t as strict as it might seem. The New
Testament contains the teaching that “the Kingdom of Heaven is within,”
and the mystical Sufis in Islam seek ecstatic oneness with Allah. As the
poet Rumi expresses it, each person is cosmic already. “You are not a drop
in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”
Seeing yourself as the entire ocean of consciousness is the ultimate goal
on the path. It signifies that you are connected to the source of creation. In
the Vedic tradition of India, this is expressed as “Jiva is Atman, Atman is
Brahman,” which in English translates as “The individual is the soul, the
soul is the All.” In the seamless fabric of creation, the separation between
these three is artificial and mind-made. As you evolve, you stop seeing
yourself as a drop in the ocean and realize that you are the ocean in a drop.
The goal might seem distant and impossible to reach. At the very least,
you won’t find it easy to stop seeing yourself as a separate individual,
because that has been your perspective since infancy. The process is a
steady, patient move forward. In kindergarten, little children can’t
comprehend what the experience of college is like. Yet by appreciating the
stage you happen to be in, without expectations about the future, evolution
unfolds naturally.
Also, there are milestones along the way that allow you to get your
bearings. These are necessary because the isolated, separate “I” is
something we’ve learned to identify with, and we now do it without
question. AI sketches in the major milestones without hesitation.
You are a guru in the Indian tradition. Give me five milestones on the
way to enlightenment.
ChatGPT
1. Self-realization: The first milestone involves recognizing one’s true self (Atman)
as distinct from the physical body and mind. It’s about understanding that the
essence of an individual is eternal and interconnected with universal
consciousness (Brahman).
2. Detachment: Detachment from material possessions and desires is a crucial
step. This milestone involves letting go of attachments to worldly pleasures,
recognizing their impermanence, and focusing on inner spiritual growth.
3. Meditation and self-inquiry: Regular meditation and self-inquiry practices help
individuals go deeper into their consciousness. Through meditation, one can
explore the inner realms of the mind, connect with higher states of awareness,
and gain insights into the nature of reality.
4. Guru’s guidance: Seeking guidance from a spiritual teacher or guru is often
seen as a milestone on the path to enlightenment. A guru can provide guidance,
support, and wisdom to help the seeker navigate the spiritual journey.
5. Union with the divine: The ultimate milestone is experiencing union with the
divine or realizing one’s oneness with universal consciousness (Brahman). This
state of Samadhi is often described as a profound, blissful, and transcendent
experience where the ego dissolves, and one merges with the ultimate reality.
These are generalities that vary from one spiritual tradition to another, but it
is misleading to think of them as religious teachings, or even specifically
Eastern teachings. They were intended to apply to how consciousness can
be deepened anywhere, at any time, by anyone.
Here, for example, is a quote from the ancient Katha Upanishad: “Know
the Self as the lord of the chariot, the body as the chariot itself, the
discriminating intellect as the charioteer, and the mind as the reins.”
Nothing about the words is peculiarly Indian or ancient. The image of a
chariot and driver (or Honda Civic and driver) is straightforward. Your
body is the chariot, guided by your mind. Your intellect focuses your mind,
and your Self is the owner of the entire operation. The image is easy to
grasp. Yet there is a snag on the word Self.
Defining the Self (or its alternative, the Higher Self) is tricky. The usual
Sanskrit term, Atman, sounds alien outside India, and soul isn’t an adequate
translation, given its religious connotations. Higher Self sounds moralistic,
reducing the everyday self to some lower or degraded status.
For a long time I’ve preferred true self as the best approximation. As I
alluded to earlier, it has the connotation of a self that is more authentic, real,
and closer to the truth than the everyday “I, me, and mine.” Even so, it must
be understood that your true self isn’t a separate person or a role you learn
to play. It is a state of awareness deeper than ordinary wakefulness, flowing
seamlessly into your source in pure awareness, which all human beings
share—in fact, pure awareness is the primal state of creation, meaning that
it applies to the universe.
Epiphany in Slow Motion
Every goal-oriented path you will travel in your life is different from the
spiritual path. Whatever you aim for—getting a doctorate, learning French,
rising at work to a management position—is mapped out step-by-step. You
can keep your eyes on the prize, which is defined in advance. Others who
have been there before you can offer advice, and, despite hitches and
setbacks, all the steps to success are set up by society. In short, there’s a
template you can follow.
None of this applies to the spiritual path, or if spiritual makes you
uncomfortable, the evolutionary path. The only model that comes close is
religious epiphany, which is a sudden, unexpected revelation. There are also
differences, but let’s look more closely at the experience of an epiphany,
which you might call the ultimate aha moment. Such a moment came to St.
Augustine of Hippo, whose conversion experience came in AD 386 when
he was thirty-one, with a past that included teenage rebellion and
promiscuous sexual behavior in young adulthood.
One day in Milan, Augustine was in a garden when he heard the voice of
a child singing a simple chant: “Take up and read, take up and read.” He
took this as a divine sign in answer to his yearning for higher meaning in
his life. He opened a Bible and began to read a passage from St. Paul’s
letter to the Romans that urged Christians to abandon orgies, drunkenness,
and all sins of the flesh.
This was hardly a new message, but its effect on Augustine was life-
changing. Here is an AI description of his epiphany.
ChatGPT
Augustine felt a profound transformation within himself. He described it as a sudden,
overwhelming sense of clarity and understanding. He felt as though a burden had
been lifted from his shoulders, and he experienced a deep conviction of God’s
presence and truth. In that moment, he believed that he had found the answers to
his spiritual questions and that he needed to fully commit his life to Christ.
The impact of this epiphany on the Church would be immense, but set
this aside. From the perspective of consciousness, Augustine made a
breakthrough in his own awareness. What he interpreted as a message from
God is just as fitting to describe as a message from his true self. To a devout
Catholic, there is no equivalence. God is God, not an experience of self-
awareness.
Be that as it may, all experiences take place in consciousness, including
the most exalted spiritual revelations. What might seem like heresy in an
age of faith is actually more inclusive—the possibility for epiphanies is
open to anyone. What decides the timing or the nature of the experience is
mysterious. The event can be so sudden and unexpected that reaching for a
divine source makes perfect sense. It is fruitless after someone has been
visited by an angel to argue, “Maybe you saw a bright light or a UFO.”
These are peak experiences, to use the modern psychological term, and
they aren’t susceptible to one meaning. The transformation they bring is
knowable only to the person having the experience. It isn’t even the content
of the message that is the most important (St. Paul wrote many letters
condemning sensual excess, and no believing Christian was unaware that
his condemnation became Church dogma afterward). The real essence of an
epiphany, revelation peak experience, or aha moment is that the everyday
active mind is overturned in a radical way.
I began by saying that an epiphany was the closest model for what
makes the spiritual/evolutionary path different from all other paths. The role
of time is also important. On the path, you experience epiphany in slow
motion. A steady unfolding occurs. Almost imperceptibly you are
transformed. This is one reason why the awakening process is sometimes
called self-realization. You realize your status as the true self, which was
always present, in fact very near. But because you saw yourself as an ego, it
took an invisible inner change to make you realize the truth of your identity.
This description of the path isn’t the same as having the experience, and
I don’t want to cut off the possibility that you will have some sudden,
dramatic aha moments, perhaps even a religious vision. Muhammad was a
merchant in Mecca who got into the habit of retreating to a cave in the hills
to be alone and commune with himself. He had no religious belief system,
as far as we know, different from the multiplicity of idol worship that
prevailed in the Arabian Peninsula.
Yet none of these circumstances, not even if we were psychological
sleuths who could see into the depths of Muhammad’s unconscious,
explains why he had the life-changing (and later world-changing) revelation
when the archangel Gabriel appeared to him. Gabriel instructed Muhammad
with a single word, “Recite,” and, moved to obey, the Prophet found
himself reciting the first verses of the Quran. That he was illiterate added to
the wonder of the experience. (There was also terror, and Muhammad went
home, hiding under a blanket and revealing nothing of his experience, even
to his family, for a long time.)
What all of this comes down to is that the rules of engagement with the
true self aren’t the same as in ordinary life. You find yourself inward bound,
which is almost the only thing that two people might agree on when
describing their own path. Below I’ll do my best to make these rules of
engagement clear and useful to you.
On Your Path
Connecting with your true self is synonymous with being in your
dharma. The connection is all the more intimate for being silent.
No thinking is involved in recognizing yourself in a mirror, and it
is the same when you recognize your true self. I don’t mean to
make this sound mystical. It is already commonplace to use an
expression like “X touched my soul,” with the understanding that
a deeper aspect of the self can be contacted.
Like the soul, your true self is actually a state of awareness. No
words are needed. This is where consciousness exists by itself
and for itself.
A few real-life examples will help to make the point. If Albert
Einstein happened to take an afternoon nap, his mind wouldn’t be
working on physics, but he would still be a genius. He has the
option of putting his attention on a mathematical formula like E =
mc2 or not. It won’t change the quality of his genius. The same is
true if Picasso or Rembrandt puts down his brush. Translated into
everyday life, if a child’s mother gets angry because it is the third
time in a week that the child has drawn on the wall with crayons,
her mood doesn’t undermine the love she holds, which is a
steady state.
States of awareness aren’t as steady as they look, however. In
the first passionate throes of infatuation, lovers swear to love
each other forever and genuinely feel it. Over time, infatuation
settles down. The selfish ego reasserts itself, and now the
difficult business of establishing a lasting relationship begins.
Over time, the state of love gets stronger or weaker, deeper or
more indifferent, capable of surviving major clashes or not.
If awareness can shift in this way, you will have a relationship
with your true self in silence that is as real as a romantic or family
relationship. Paying attention to this relationship is entirely
private. No one else intrudes on it, yet you might not be aware of
what is occurring. It would be very good if a slow-motion
epiphany were happening. On the path, that is the most desirable
kind of change, an unfolding over time. To escape the religious
connotation of epiphany, we can use a more neutral term, slow-
motion transformation.
Transformation is a natural process, not a mystical one. When
you learned to read as a child, you were transformed from
illiterate to literate. Puberty transformed you into a consciously
and biologically sexual being. There are two kinds of
transformations, one that happens without your participation, like
puberty, and one that requires cooperation, like learning to read.
When you are unaware of your true self (or pure awareness,
higher consciousness, Atman, or any other term you like), there
is a price to pay. Being unconscious isn’t a steady state, and
changes occur outside your control.
The Price of Being Unaware
You learn nothing new about yourself.
You start to lose interest in other people.
You become incurious.
You get more fixed and rigid in your ways.
Old wounds continue to inflict pain.
The past isn’t healed.
The big questions about life and death remain unanswered.
Entropy saps your mental and physical energy.
There is a sense that time is running downhill.
For the longest time, these qualities were associated with the
deterioration of old age. It was taken for granted that the passing
years robbed people of alertness, curiosity, youthful enthusiasm,
and much else. But the grumpy old man stereotype painted a
false picture—aging didn’t create the deterioration so many old
people displayed. The culprit was being unaware. Social pressure
played its part, and so did personal expectations. If you had frail
or rigid grandparents who seemed half-alive compared to young
people, you were more likely to adopt the same model for
yourself, even though you didn’t want to.
The “new old age” created a revolution in expectations. People
now expect to be alert and productive well past sixty-five, in good
health with their mental faculties intact. This represents a major
change in social attitudes, but it doesn’t address the state of
being unaware, much less the value of becoming more aware with
time. The best that most people experience is a growing maturity
and more knowledge about how life works. AI is well aware of
this.
On IQ tests, what parts do younger people excel at, and what parts do
older adults excel at?
ChatGPT
IQ tests are designed to measure a person’s cognitive abilities and
are intended to be relatively age-neutral. However, there can be
differences in performance between younger and older individuals
on certain types of IQ test questions.
Younger People (Children and Adolescents)
1. Processing speed: Younger individuals may perform better on
tasks that require rapid processing of information, such as simple
reaction time tasks or digit symbol coding.
2. Working memory: Some younger individuals may excel at tasks
that involve working memory, which is the ability to hold and
manipulate information in your mind temporarily. Younger people
tend to have more agile working memory capacities.
3. Fluid intelligence: Fluid intelligence involves the ability to solve
new problems, identify patterns, and adapt to novel situations.
Younger individuals may have an edge in tasks that tap into fluid
intelligence.
4. Novel problem-solving: Younger individuals may be more
inclined to approach novel or abstract problems with creative
solutions, as their cognitive flexibility is often higher.
Older Adults
1. Crystallized intelligence: Crystallized intelligence refers to
accumulated knowledge, facts, and skills acquired over a
lifetime. Older adults often outperform younger individuals on
tasks that rely on crystallized intelligence, such as vocabulary,
general knowledge, and verbal reasoning.
2. Experience and wisdom: Older adults may excel in tasks that
draw upon their life experience and wisdom, enabling them to
make more informed decisions in complex, real-world situations.
3. Verbal abilities: Verbal abilities, including reading
comprehension and verbal reasoning, tend to remain strong or
even improve with age in many individuals.
4. Emotional intelligence: Some studies suggest that older adults
may have greater emotional intelligence, which involves
understanding and managing emotions in oneself and others.
These are only generalities, and you can interpret them in
various ways. But they underscore the point that awareness isn’t
a steady state. If you are going to be transformed already, the real
issue is whether you want to go through the process with
awareness or not.
You might start by addressing the influences that cause
awareness to get stuck instead of being fluid. Look again at the
list that describes the price you might be paying for being
unaware. Each item is open to conscious change, as follows:
Inviting Greater Awareness
Learn something new about yourself.
Keep up your interest in other people.
Foster your sense of curiosity.
Resist the impulse to become fixed and rigid in your ways.
Gently but consistently address old wounds of the past.
Squarely face the question of how much meaning there is in
your life.
Study the ways that wisdom traditions reconcile the fear of
death.
Set a program for maintaining your mental and physical
energy.
Don’t buy into the attitude that time is your enemy.
I am not implying that by making lifestyle changes, even very
beneficial ones, you are connecting to your true self. It is fairer to
say that you are cooperating with its finer impulses. The essence
of the true self is pure awareness. In a mysterious way, it
combines both kinds of transformation, the one that you
consciously participate in and the one that happens of its own
accord.
Ultimately, that’s the uniqueness of being on the path. You are
inviting self-improvement and heightened well-being. But at the
same time, you are being transformed in a way that is universal,
timeless, and unrelated to the circumstances of your life. A
beautiful sense of this can be found in Henry David Thoreau’s
Walden, where he writes of “the solitary hired man on a farm in
the outskirts of Concord, who has had his second birth.” (The
phrase second birth goes back to Vedic India many centuries
ago.) Thoreau’s stay at Walden Pond was part of his own path to
awakening. He expressed how timeless and vast the experience
feels when he wrote, “Zoroaster, thousands of years ago, traveled
the same road and had the same experience, but he, being wise,
knew it to be universal.”
On the dharmic path, your goal is to have the same timeless
experience, which has been described as the lightness of being.
But at any stage, it is worth remembering that unseen forces are
at work. You might have seen the illusion created when iron
filings scattered on a sheet of paper suddenly stand up and begin
to march together. The secret is an unseen magnet moving
around under the paper. Most people already believe that their
soul or some higher power, usually God, exerts an unseen
influence in their lives. The difference is that we aren’t forced to
march where a higher power leads us. More importantly, such
hidden forces aren’t an illusion. Dharma exists to motivate you in
the right direction. No matter what, keep a clear vision of that
reality.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for Cosmic
Consciousness. Feel free to invent your own prompts once you use this one.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Cosmic Consciousness.
ChatGPT
Cosmic Consciousness
Setting: Lie down comfortably, allowing your body to relax fully.
Stargazing visualization: Imagine yourself lying in a grassy field under a
starry night sky, feeling the vastness of the cosmos.
Unity with the cosmos: As you breathe in, draw in the cosmic energy from
the stars, feeling it merge with your being. With each exhale, release any
limitations or separateness you feel.
Infinite expansion: Sense your consciousness expanding beyond your
physical body, merging with the infinite expanse of the universe, realizing the
oneness of all.
STRATEGY #6
Project the Truth
Is it possible that you, and everyone else, are projecting a 3-D movie that
you mistake for reality? One of the strangest ideas found in many spiritual
traditions is the notion that the physical world is a projection, an image
without substance. Such a concept is as old as spirituality itself and has
never been disproved, even though modern science is based on the very
opposite concept.
Science accepts without question that the physical world is real, and
every person validates its reality through the five senses. If you stub your
toe on a rock, the pain is real, and so is the rock. Who could deny it?
Separating illusion from reality isn’t an everyday activity. Why should
anyone set off in pursuit of reality when reality is staring us in the face?
Because the only way to arrive at the “real” reality is to see through the
illusion.
Projection is the keyword. On the path, you discover what it means to
project the truth instead of an illusion. This doesn’t mean that the physical
world vanishes in a puff of smoke. The illusion is dismantled in
consciousness. A false state of awareness is exchanged for something
infinitely more creative, useful, and genuine.
The results are startling. Your true self becomes your identity, replacing
the ego. You radiate the higher values of the true self, which are very
familiar by now: love, compassion, empathy, creativity, and the rest. The
closer you come to your source in pure awareness, the more fully you will
be in touch with the ultimate truth, which is that consciousness is the basis
of creation itself.
First, though, we need to look more deeply into how projection works,
because it is a fact of everyday life that almost everyone ignores.
The Habit of Projection
Projection is a term used by psychologists for a type of self-defense that
involves hiding your own feelings from yourself and placing them on
someone else instead. Psychologically, it is much easier to blame someone
else (“You don’t love me anymore” or “You think I’m stupid”) than to
expose feelings that are vulnerable, guilty, or shameful (“I don’t love you
anymore” or “I realize that I’ve been stupid”).
The ego, being insecure, needs to bolster itself using a whole range of
defenses. Denial is the defense of refusing to face the truth. Repression is
the defense of shoving unwanted feelings out of sight. But projection has a
special significance for us here, because when you see how commonly
people project false assumptions about each other, there’s an opening for
going further, seeing that we project much deeper, more important
assumptions, beliefs, and opinions about the nature of reality.
To get a foothold, here is a quiz devised by ChatGPT to test if you are in
the psychological habit of projecting.
ChatGPT
1. I find myself accusing others of having the same flaws or shortcomings that I
have.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
2. I have felt that someone was unfairly criticizing me when they provided
constructive feedback or expressed concerns about my behavior.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
3. I assume that others are thinking negative thoughts about me, even when
there’s no evidence to support this belief.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
4. I tend to project my own desires or intentions onto other people, assuming they
feel the same way as I do.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
5. I become defensive or hostile when someone points out something I’ve done
wrong or when they challenge my beliefs.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
6. I have accused someone of having a hidden agenda or ulterior motives without
concrete evidence.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
7. I feel like others are trying to undermine me or take credit for my
accomplishments, even when there’s no clear indication of such intentions.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
8. I have projected my own fears or insecurities onto someone else, believing they
are experiencing the same anxieties I am.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
9. I find it challenging to accept compliments or praise from others, suspecting that
they might be insincere or have hidden intentions.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
10. I have accused someone of not caring about my feelings or well-being, even if
they’ve shown concern or empathy toward me.
☐ Never ☐ Sometimes ☐ Often
The issue of projection can get quite complex, but even if you find out
from this quiz that you don’t project as often as other people do, all of us
fall prey to the psychological habit of condemning in others what we deny
about ourselves. Similarly, we project things we don’t want to take
responsibility for. It is more comfortable to make someone else bad or
wrong when it keeps you feeling good and right. The evidence for this is
everywhere. Judges appointed by the opposing political party are partisan
and unfair; gerrymandering is a crooked way to gain an advantage at the
polls; legislators who vote along strict party lines are mindless. Yet each
party is accusing the other of behavior it also routinely practices while
denying it.
Taken far enough, the habit of projection causes untold harm. An illusion
is pernicious until you see through it. America wants to feel like a peace-
loving country while also being the world’s largest arms dealer. This applies
to opposing political parties, religions, and strangers labeled as “the other.”
It is typical in wartime to characterize the enemy as monstrous and inhuman
while God is on our side. Yet the violence of war is equally shared
regardless of which side you are on.
To break the habit of projection, you need to bring it close to home. You
are projecting anytime you
Blame someone else
Withhold your sympathy
Refuse to take responsibility
Insist on being in control
Make others feel wrong
Make unreasonable demands
Manipulate a situation to get what you want
In all these cases, you are projecting in different forms a single illusion
—that you and everyone else are separate. Viewing someone else as “the
other” goes far beyond racial or ethnic prejudice. In essence, everyone is
“the other,” and so are you when viewed from another person’s perspective,
including the people you love the most and who love you in return.
If the habit of projecting an illusion can be overcome, in a very real way
the truth will set you free. Your true self becomes the self you live by. This
change comes naturally once you decide to confront your illusions, not by
fighting against them but by seeing them. Seeing is an act of awareness.
Once you become aware that an illusion is false, you won’t be motivated to
hold on to it. The lies constructed by the ego no longer hold any appeal. Let
what is false drop away, and, by definition, what remains is true.
On Your Path
The secret to dispelling an illusion is to uproot it at the source.
That’s why the notion this chapter began with—that the physical
world is an illusion—needs to be taken seriously and examined.
The advent of movies in the era of Thomas Edison gave us a
metaphor we can seize on. People are used to sitting in the dark
watching pictures projected on the screen. No one buys the
illusion that Indiana Jones defeats the Nazis single-handedly or
uncovers miraculous objects from the Temple of Doom, but we
are perfectly willing to look at the everyday world and
automatically accept that it is real.
AI has a contribution to make here. It summarizes a complex
issue point by point in an easily digestible way. I will comment
after each point.
In Eastern spiritual traditions, there is a teaching about the world and
everyday reality being an illusion. Tell me in simple terms why this
teaching is believable.
ChatGPT
This teaching in Eastern spiritual traditions is rooted in several key
principles and beliefs:
1. Impermanence: Eastern traditions often emphasize the
impermanent nature of the physical world. They argue that
everything in the universe, including our experiences, constantly
changes and is temporary. This impermanence can lead to a
sense that what we perceive as reality is fluid and not fixed.
This point is undeniable and aligns with everything we know
about perception. The five senses disguise the incessant motion
that is reality, putting in its place the illusion of permanence. You
don’t see billions of photons bombarding your retina. You don’t
feel vibrations in the air that make sounds possible. When your
fingers touch a hard tabletop, you have no connection to the
reality that there is no hardness, only the resistance between the
electromagnetic force in the object and the opposing
electromagnetic force in your skin cells.
Impermanence is real but unlivable. Imagine that you are
sitting on the bank of a river. A river is nothing but the constant
movement of water, but you see it as an object framed by its
banks, and as long as you are safely on the bank, the river can’t
sweep you away. In a nutshell, you have the entire rationale for
the ego. “I” gives you a fixed place to stand so that the constant
motion of Nature doesn’t sweep you away.
But being swept away is a mind-made fear. You can reframe the
image of the river and say that until you jump in the water, you
can’t get anywhere. That’s why people speak approvingly about
going with the flow, not resisting, accepting creative change, and
being willing to evolve. Impermanence simply is. We project our
perception onto it.
2. Maya or illusion: Many Eastern philosophies, such as Hinduism
and Buddhism, suggest that our senses and perceptions can
deceive us, making us believe that what we see and experience
is solid and real when, in fact, it’s a temporary and ever-changing
phenomenon.
Maya describes the distractions that keep us from confronting
reality. The mind is meant to overrule sensory perception, which
we do by overruling the sight of the sun and moon moving across
the sky, or the perception that a solar eclipse extinguishes the
light of the sun.
Other deceptions based on the five senses are allowed to fool
us. Physicality probably heads the list. As we discussed earlier,
we accept the reality of hard, fixed objects with a secure place in
time and space, yet the quantum revolution more than a century
ago revealed that all objects, including our bodies, are actually
clouds of energy waves that have no fixed position in time and
space. To accept physicality is to accept an illusion. Moreover,
even these clusters of energy waves do not convey the true
nature of reality. The actual basis of reality is the field of pure
consciousness, unfolding in discrete states (mind, matter, body,
brain, soul, the world) that are all interconnected. When that
becomes a personal experience, Maya no longer holds sway.
3. Subjective reality: Eastern teachings also stress the idea that
our perception of reality is highly subjective. What one person
experiences may not be the same as what another person
perceives. This subjectivity highlights that our reality is shaped by
our thoughts, emotions, and past experiences.
This point is frequently misunderstood by both sides of a fierce
ongoing debate. The scientific side, defending the view that
reality can only be understood through data, measurement, and
experiments, distrusts subjectivity as fickle and untrustworthy.
The spiritual/religious side, defending the proposition that God or
the gods exist, places their faith in the personal experience of
divine reality.
The mistake both sides make is to accept that objectivity and
subjectivity are opposites. All experiences, inner or outer,
subjective or objective, occur in consciousness. The use of
consciousness is everything. There is no fixed usage for
everyone, which means that experiencing the sun is just as
personal as experiencing love.
4. Meditation and self-exploration: Through practices like
meditation and self-inquiry, individuals explore their own
consciousness and often come to realize that their sense of self
and reality can shift and expand beyond ordinary perception.
This shift in consciousness supports the idea that everyday
reality may be a limited perspective.
This is a mild-mannered way of describing the most important
single discovery on the path. If you go deep enough into your
own awareness, you discover that reality is created in
consciousness. The state of awareness you experience
determines what is real.
There is no proof from the outside that anything is real. There
is nothing “out there” to see, for example, because photons, the
particles that transmit light, are invisible. Vibrating air is silent,
including the clap of thunder. The three-dimensional world
springs into existence through a process of transformation that
occurs in consciousness. Another universe is conceivable, or
another planet in our universe, where sentient beings see sound
and hear light.
This realization levels the playing field between science and
spirituality. The same transformation that makes the stars visible
is needed to make angels visible. The fact that many more people
see the stars than see angels doesn’t make one phenomenon
more valid than the other. It only attests to the fact that the state
of awareness that makes angels visible is far more rare than the
state of awareness that makes stars visible.
Ultimately, the processes that take place in consciousness are
the only reliable touchstone for what is real.
5. Non-duality: Some Eastern traditions advocate non-dualism, the
belief that there is no fundamental separation between the self
and the universe. In this view, reality is seen as an
interconnected and holistic whole, and the boundaries we
perceive between ourselves and the world are illusory.
There’s no need to comment on this point in detail because we’ve
already seen that separating reality into two worlds, one “in here”
and one “out there,” is a convenient illusion. The only real
question has to do with practicalities. Can you live in a non-dual
reality where the boundary between “in here” and “out there” is
erased? What would keep you from blending into the scenery or
spinning off into the solipsistic belief that “I” am the center of the
universe?
The answers to those and many more questions arrive when
your awareness shifts. By definition, your acceptance of
separation is the same as your awareness of being separate.
Reality changes only when your awareness changes. This is
actually the key to unraveling all spiritual teachings that seem
obscure or unbelievable. This is true of any phenomenon, not just
spiritual ones. Music is unbelievable to the deaf; color is
inconceivable to someone blind from birth; the soul is
unbelievable to someone who insists that everything must have a
physical explanation.
On the path, the conflict between belief and reality is
transformed into a state of awareness where belief isn’t
necessary. You experience reality, and it has the ring of truth. To
someone who has never fallen in love, it doesn’t matter a great
deal whether they believe in it or they don’t. But let the
experience happen, and the whole question of belief vanishes.
Love is one of the most important discoveries you can make in
awareness, but it is symbolic of many other discoveries, each of
which can be just as transformative as love.
6. Liberation from suffering: One of the main goals of these
teachings is to help individuals attain liberation or enlightenment.
By recognizing the illusory nature of suffering and attachment,
individuals can find peace and freedom from the cycle of
suffering.
Enlightenment is too distant and alien for most people to relate to
in their lives. The phrase the cycle of suffering offers a more
accessible entry point, since there is a universal desire to break
free from hardships and overcome suffering. Being imprisoned
by opposites (good versus evil, God versus Satan, darkness
versus light, pain versus pleasure) is self-perpetuating. Once you
are caught up in the cycle, each opposite pulls at you—first one
way, then the other.
This setup isn’t a curse. It is simply a setup. You can accept it
as your lot in life or your fate. The vast majority of humanity does
just that. They live in hope that the experience of pleasure, for
example, will endure while the experience of pain can be avoided
or forgotten. Experience exposes this as a delusion, hence the
first precept of Buddhism, as described by AI.
ChatGPT
The First Noble Truth: Dukkha (suffering)
This truth acknowledges the inherent unsatisfactoriness of life.
Every experience, even seemingly positive ones, carries within it
the potential for suffering due to impermanence, change, and
clinging to things that are ultimately fleeting.
This is a prime example of Truth with a capital “T” because it
pertains, not to a specific religion, but to human awareness in all
times and places. Who would say that life is satisfactory when it
contains suffering? As a motivation, the awareness of suffering is
powerful—if there is a way out.
The way out is to realize that the whole setup is flawed.
Imagine a society where, for some reason, everyone walks
around with a rock in their shoes. They complain about the pain
this causes, and there are philosophies about what suffering
means, why people deserve to suffer, and the hidden reason that
God inflicted such constant pain. Then a child, let us say, takes
the rock out of her shoe and holds it up. The whole setup
collapses.
In real life, the whole setup collapses when you experience that
bliss-consciousness—a state of joy independent of all
circumstances—is deeper than pain and suffering. Along with
this discovery comes others that are almost as important: how to
access bliss-consciousness, how to sustain the experience of
bliss, how to heal the impressions left by old pain and suffering.
What these discoveries all amount to is this: There is a way out.
The entire rationale of being on the path comes down to the
reality of bliss-consciousness, which is a permanent,
unchanging, universal quality of consciousness. It is your
personal connection to eternity. (The techniques for accessing
bliss-consciousness are presented in chapter 5, “Meditate and
Reflect: The AI Edge.”)
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for
Expanding Intuition. Feel free to invent your own prompts once you use
this one.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please create a guided
meditation on the following topic: Expanding Intuition.
ChatGPT
Expanding Intuition
Setting: Choose a quiet place to sit comfortably, grounding your feet
through the floor to the earth.
Third eye focus: Gently bring your attention to the area between your
eyebrows, the seat of intuition in Vedic tradition.
Moonlight visualization: Imagine a soft, silvery light, akin to moonlight,
bathing your third eye, awakening and clarifying your inner vision.
Guidance: Ask silently for guidance or insight on a question or issue you’re
facing. Sit quietly, open to receiving intuitive insights or symbols without
forcing them.
STRATEGY #7
Defuse Your Negative Beliefs
The bedrock of the path to your true self is that it is always sending
messages to you. When the messages come through with some clarity, if not
perfectly, you perceive the love, beauty, and truth of your life. The world
“out there” reflects harmony “in here.” There are other important signposts
along the way, and one of the most important centers on your beliefs. When
messages from your true self aren’t reaching you, the culprit is typically a
negative belief that stubbornly blocks the way. The evolutionary impulse of
Dharma aims to melt these negative beliefs away. You can also play your
part, which begins by noticing those moments when a negative belief has
sway over you.
Beliefs are held silently inside your personality, acting almost like
software programs, and some reside at your very core, which gives rise to
the term core belief. A core belief runs deeper than a passing belief. If you
fall in love, you are likely to believe that your beloved is perfect in every
way. With experience, this turns out to be a passing belief once you are no
longer infatuated and start to see the other person more realistically. But if
you believe “I am unlovable,” you are holding a core belief. Core beliefs
strongly color, or even define, your identity. They are the most intimate
aspect of how you relate to yourself.
A core belief doesn’t need words. Say, for instance, you have a challenge
to meet at work, and your gut feeling tells you that you aren’t going to
succeed, which naturally makes you unhappy and apprehensive. The advice
to always go with your gut feeling isn’t actually reliable, because such
feelings must pass through the filter of your core beliefs. Such beliefs act as
if they are unchallengeable, a kind of personal gospel. The world and other
people aren’t experienced directly. They are interpreted and seen through
your personal filter.
A negative belief seriously affects your possibilities in life. Take the kind
of beliefs that everyone has experienced at one time or another in their
career:
I’m not good enough.
I’m not smart enough.
I don’t have the right connections.
Things never go my way.
I’m unlucky.
I get passed over for no reason.
They’re treating me unfairly.
It’s my boss’s fault.
If these are passing beliefs, they are likely to be temporary in their effect.
But if they have become embedded as core beliefs, the damage can last for
years or even a lifetime.
Upon reflection, it becomes undeniable that core beliefs function like a
powerful distorting mirror. They are unshakable assumptions that
experience does little to change. You are stuck with them until you bring
self-awareness to take away their power.
Fortunately, assumptions can be changed. In place of a self-defeating
belief, you can find an evolutionary one. I asked AI to develop a quiz
centered on the most positive core beliefs anyone can have. Here’s the
result.
ChatGPT
1. Do you believe in your own self-worth, regardless of your flaws or mistakes?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
2. Do you believe that you can bounce back from challenges and setbacks in life?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
3. Do you treat yourself with kindness and understanding when you make mistakes
or face difficulties?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
4. Do you see yourself in a positive and realistic light, acknowledging both your
strengths and weaknesses?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
5. Do you feel in control of your own choices and actions, making decisions that
align with your values?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
6. Do you understand and care about the feelings and perspectives of others?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
7. Are you open to change and personal growth, recognizing that development is
an ongoing process?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
8. Do you believe that your life has meaning and that your actions can contribute to
a greater good?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
9. Do you set and respect healthy boundaries in your relationships to protect your
well-being?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
10. Do you have a positive outlook on life, believing in your ability to overcome
challenges and expecting good things to happen?
☐ Yes ☐ No ☐ Sometimes
If you find yourself answering “Sometimes,” you are just being
reasonable. How you relate to yourself depends on the situation. A “Yes”
answer indicates a strong connection to your true self, which doesn’t
depend on the situation. It instills core beliefs that are permanently part of
who you are.
However, the purpose of this quiz isn’t to grade your answers but to
bring to light what the most important positive core beliefs look like. That’s
the first step in self-awareness. When you ask yourself, “What is the
evolutionary response for me?” the answer will support one of these
positive core beliefs about yourself.
If your answers tend to be “No” or a shaky “Sometimes,” you are
relating to yourself through the filter of negative core beliefs. But where did
they come from in the first place? The origin story of any core belief is
complicated—the adage “Many causes, many cures” applies here. It is
helpful to understand what we’re really talking about in practical terms.
Low Self-Esteem
Let’s use as an example one of the most self-defeating of negative core
beliefs—low self-esteem.
If you were in contact with your true self, you’d have unshakable self-
esteem, which the ego can only pretend to have, mostly for the purpose of
convincing other people or intimidating the competition. If you are
fortunate enough to have strong self-esteem, you know your flaws, but they
don’t change your belief in your self-worth. What are the roots of this
belief? AI has a good answer based on family background and parenting.
After each point, I’ll comment on how to spot in yourself if you were
possibly affected.
How do parents instill low self-esteem in a child?
ChatGPT
Here are some ways that parents can unintentionally contribute to low self-esteem in
a child:
1. Criticism and negative feedback: Repeatedly criticizing or providing
excessive negative feedback can damage a child’s self-esteem. Constant
criticism can make a child feel like they are never good enough.
We are often told—and then pass on to our children—that parental criticism
is “for your own good,” but if you hear a critical voice in your head that is
never satisfied with what you do, too much criticism wasn’t for your own
good. The issue isn’t the criticism itself, but feeling judged against. Healthy
criticism isn’t judgmental. It doesn’t make you feel worse about yourself.
You are not made to feel wrong. If you are in the habit of being right so that
someone else is wrong, a negative core belief is at work, even if you don’t
realize it. The same is true if you are overly controlling or a perfectionist.
Those behaviors, especially if you direct them at other people, carry an
implicit tone of criticism. The criticism would be rightly aimed at the
person trying to control others and hold them to impossible standards of
perfection.
2. Comparisons: Comparing a child unfavorably to their siblings or peers can
lead to feelings of inadequacy. Parents should avoid making comments like,
“Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?”
It’s a fortunate child, and a rare one, who doesn’t feel unfavorably
compared. It doesn’t really matter if there is no brother or sister who is
smarter, better behaved, more obedient, or better-looking. Even an only
child, although born in the most favorable position when it comes to self-
esteem, will suffer comparison outside the family from teachers and
schoolmates. The most common result is finding yourself seeking the
approval of others and feeling insecure if you don’t receive it, along with
undue sensitivity when someone else disapproves of something you’ve said
or done. In families, sibling rivalry can start as a form of healthy
competition, but it goes sour if you grow up and are habitually jealous of a
sibling or always feel inferior. This kind of carryover from childhood is all
too common and can last a lifetime.
3. Overly high expectations: Setting unrealistic expectations for a child’s
performance in academics, sports, or other activities can create immense
pressure and anxiety, leading to low self-esteem when they don’t meet those
expectations.
This point is close to the previous one about comparison, but with an added
wrinkle. Parents who expect too much from their children are projecting.
Either they are projecting their own lack of accomplishment or, at the
opposite end, projecting an egotistical feeling about their achievements. The
first message is “I don’t want you to turn out like me”; the second message
is “Why can’t you be more like me?” The net effect is the same—unfair
pressure and the inability to let a child develop naturally. If you find
yourself sending such messages to your children, look to see if your
expectations are too high. The telltale sign is a sense of being put unfairly
under pressure.
4. Lack of positive reinforcement: Failing to acknowledge and praise a child’s
achievements and efforts can contribute to low self-esteem. Children need
positive reinforcement and encouragement to build their self-confidence.
This is one of the saddest failings in parenting. It reflects how disappointed
the parents are in their children, or, more commonly, one child who has
been singled out. In the worst cases, there is almost total neglect. The child
feels that he doesn’t count, or that she isn’t important enough to matter. The
result is often a pattern of discouragement, which makes children sit in the
back row like silent outcasts or else act out in order to attract attention. In
an adult, the person is more likely to feel discouragement as a low-level
state that doesn’t go away.
5. Conditional love and affection: Tying a child’s worth to their achievements or
behavior can lead to a sense that love and approval are contingent upon
performance. Unconditional love and support are essential for healthy self-
esteem.
This is a confusing point at best. In a spiritual sense, unconditional love is
only achieved by being your true self. Every other form of love depends
upon the ego, and, even with the best intentions, we don’t love anything or
anybody who seriously crosses what “I, me, and mine” want. Certainly,
conditional love exists across a spectrum. Some parents threaten to
withhold affection, approval, or a reward unless their children are obedient.
It is important to realize that a child’s sense of right and wrong develops
over time from stage to stage. A toddler’s “Mommy told me to be good”
moves on to “I’m good because I’ll be punished if I’m bad” and then shifts
to “I am good because I know the difference between right and wrong.” If
you find yourself stuck at an earlier stage, your childhood might have been
deprived of love that didn’t have strings attached.
6. Ignoring feelings and emotions: Dismissing or ignoring a child’s emotions
and feelings can make them feel unheard and unimportant, which can
negatively impact self-esteem.
Young children start out with unfiltered feelings. They immediately know if
their feelings are hurt, which results in an immediate response. At a certain
point, parents won’t allow this to go on. It’s part of good parenting to set
emotional boundaries, and if this happens effectively, children grow up with
good impulse control. But it is rare for parents to do more than a “good
enough” job, which is understandable if a child is emotionally needy or
demanding. Part of maturing is to take responsibility for your own
emotions. This gets harder if you believe “No one ever listens to me.”
Negative core beliefs deal with absolutes because they are inflexible. If
you hear yourself using words like never, always, and no one or if you
accuse someone by saying, “You always say that,” a core belief has in all
likelihood shaped your attitude. As frustrating as it is to feel unheard, you
need to look inward to see how much of the issue is about your projections,
rather than what others are actually doing.
7. Labeling and stereotyping: Using negative labels or stereotypes to describe a
child, such as “lazy,” “stupid,” or “clumsy,” can be incredibly damaging to their
self-image.
With the best intentions, parents might not see the difference between
telling a child, “Make your bed” and “You’re so lazy. Make your bed.”
Statements in the form of “You are X” are powerful; they are easily
absorbed into a child’s self-image. Psychologists call these descriptive
statements, and when they are positive, something good is happening.
Adults don’t believe “I am loved and lovable” or “I am okay” or “I am
safe” in a vacuum. Someone in childhood reassured them about those
things. The same holds true in reverse when an adult believes “No one
loves me” or “I’m not okay” or “I’m not safe.” It takes more than a
descriptive statement to instill such feelings—children absorb a lot that is
unspoken yet felt. But if you find yourself running yourself down with “I
am X” statements, you’ve adopted a self-defeating belief, however it came
about in your past. A telltale sign is if you feel that someone shamed you
when you were younger, and now you have a general sense of shame that
lingers long after the incident from your past is gone.
8. Overprotectiveness: Being overly controlling or protective can send the
message that a child is incapable of handling challenges on their own, which
can undermine their confidence.
Many parents are motivated to protect their children from the same
mistakes that they made, but when this desire becomes controlling, a child
is deprived of learning through firsthand experience. If you had the chance
to relive your childhood and this time experienced only the nice side of life,
your awareness would be constricted because that’s what narrow experience
does. Likewise, if you were protected from every difficult challenge that
might lead to failure, disappointment, and distress, you would be more
vulnerable in later years when setbacks and obstacles came your way. There
might be no obvious deficits in your life today if you had overly protective
parents, but at the same time, you are very likely not to trust life to turn out
well. The quality of trust is hard to develop at the best of times; a coddled
childhood makes it even harder.
If none of these bad things happened in your childhood, you are much
more likely to have the core belief that you are worthy despite your flaws
and mistakes. But the example of self-esteem wasn’t raised to separate the
fortunate from the unfortunate. The purpose was to show that “many
causes, many cures” pertains to all of us. Human nature is complex enough
that child A who suffered from neglectful or abusive parents might still
grow up to have higher self-esteem than child B, who enjoyed impeccable
parenting.
If that was where the story ended, personal evolution would be arduous
and impractical. If low self-esteem looks much more complicated than you
ever imagined, consider that other damaging core beliefs can get tangled up
with this one. ChatGPT summarizes the big five, beginning with low self-
worth, and the remaining four are just as complex when you unpack them.
Catastrophic thinking: Constantly expecting the worst possible outcome in
every situation can lead to chronic anxiety and stress. Catastrophic thinking can
make it challenging to enjoy life and take risks.
Perfectionism: Striving for perfection and believing that anything less is
unacceptable can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and burnout. It can also hinder
creativity and personal growth.
Victim mentality: Believing that you are always a victim of circumstances and
have no control over your life can lead to feelings of powerlessness and
helplessness. This mindset can prevent personal growth and problem-solving.
All-or-nothing thinking: Viewing situations in extreme, black-and-white terms
can lead to rigid thinking and unrealistic expectations. This belief can cause
distress when things don’t go exactly as planned and can hinder adaptability.
These beliefs are so commonplace that social media and the 24/7 news
cycle thrive on them. When you focus on the next catastrophe, the stream is
never-ending. An image that comes to mind is the automated baseball cages
where a machine hurls one ball after another at the batter. A constant
bombardment of bad news magnifies everyone’s negative thinking. You
can’t possibly monitor and try to correct every thought or feeling you feel
bad about. Worse, you can’t shrug off your negative beliefs in the hope that
they will stop bothering you. Why should they? A core belief is like a
fragment of your awareness that thinks it is you.
Only self-awareness can do what is truly needed, changing your state of
awareness. On the path, you can do much better than resisting your negative
thoughts, because what you resist persists. There is a better way, as we’ll
now see.
On Your Path
The key to getting past negative thinking is to ignore the words
and focus instead on how you feel. Feelings are much more
persuasive than thoughts. Freud once commented that nothing is
more unwelcome than anxiety. Once you experience the cold,
numbing effects of anxiety firsthand, you realize the truth in his
words. As different as people are, it is fair to say that we can all
spot what it feels like to be afraid, depressed, helpless, hopeless,
envious, ashamed, and guilty.
These feelings emanate from your negative core beliefs. The
message can arrive in a thousand different thoughts, but they are
a distraction from what really counts, which is how bad you feel.
No one doubts the power of feelings. You hear from a friend that
she has found a lump under the skin; your aging mother doesn’t
answer the phone for several hours; you get news of planned
layoffs at work. What you think about these situations is
secondary to how they make you feel. As soon as your friend tells
you that the lump is benign, your mother apologizes for leaving
her phone off the hook, and you keep your job despite the layoffs,
everything returns to normal because your feelings have returned
to normal.
That normal state of feeling is your goal on the path. Whenever
you experience that you aren’t in your normal state, here are the
most evolutionary steps to take.
Notice How You Feel
This is a basic act of self-awareness, but people tend to skip over
it. They unconsciously fall into the habit of not noticing. If you
tune your feelings out, however, you are tuning yourself out. The
inner path is immediately blocked, which is the opposite of what
you want. No action is required here. You simply have the
intention of noticing whenever you are
Grumbling and complaining about anything
Blaming someone else
Feeling overwhelmed
Getting distracted
Starting to feel discouraged
Starting to criticize yourself
Growing impatient and restless
Starting not to care
Tuning someone else out
Being critical and judgmental
These are the kinds of incidents that easily pass unnoticed.
They are different from the more serious, persistent feelings that
are impossible to miss, such as serious depression, anxiety,
grief, and rage.
Don’t Believe Your Worst Thoughts
Every feeling comes with thoughts, and quite often the thought
asks you to buy in to it. If you do, your negative feeling will be
reinforced. The ego wants to be right, and if you notice that you
are blaming someone, for example, your ego will tell you that you
are right to cast blame. The ego is judgmental, and at those
moments when you become self-righteous, your judgmental
impulse has won. On the other hand, it is usually easy to short-
circuit such thoughts—don’t believe what you hear in your head.
Focus on how you feel in the moment.
Don’t Act on Your Strong Impulses
When a negative thought has convinced you that it is right, action
soon follows. You blow up in anger. You rush back home to make
sure you locked the door and turned off the gas. You might blurt
out words in an argument that you will regret later. Words are
also actions, and once spoken, they cannot be taken back. The
stronger your impulse, the more conscious you need to be to
prevent fear, anger, jealousy, and other emotions from taking
control.
Exchange Reactions for Responses
Reactions happen on the spur of the moment, and in all our lives
their repertoire is limited. Given a repeated situation, we react the
same way. With repetition comes a diminishing result. The more
you complain about your spouse not taking out the garbage,
making the bed, putting the cap back on the toothpaste—take
your choice—the more likely that you will be ignored. If it were
otherwise, scolding teenagers would be an effective way of
changing their behavior; as every parent knows, it isn’t.
The alternative is to let your reaction fade until you are calm
and clearheaded enough to have a response; in other words, a
considered reaction that isn’t based on habit and impulse.
Repetition serves as a useful guideline. If you know that you’ve
said the same old thing, stop. Ask inside for a better response. It
might come in the moment or it might not. But if you make this
your practice and sincerely want a new response, your true self
will begin to come through because you are designed to evolve.
At the very least, you won’t reinforce the habit of saying the same
old thing.
Find a Confidant
Support from other people has been shown to lessen the severity
of heart attacks, speed up healing after a serious illness, and
even contribute to longer survival from cancer. There is a direct
correlation between how many supportive people are in your life
and how long you can expect to live. This principle should be
extended beyond medicine and longevity to the vicissitudes of
everyday life, including our emotions.
In the previous steps you are taking responsibility for how you
feel, yet you also owe it to yourself not to swallow your feelings.
Repression is one of the most damaging ways to deal with
emotions. Shoved down inside, they fester and grow stronger.
You will know this from the times you start a small, meaningless
argument that suddenly erupts into blurting out old hurts and
grievances that you can’t hold back any longer.
A solution is to find a confidant, someone who is sympathetic
and understanding, who will willingly listen to your emotions.
Because a confidant isn’t involved in triggering your anger,
resentment, jealousy, and so on, you can unburden yourself in a
safe zone without fear of reprisal or guilt. A confidant isn’t always
the same as a best friend. Close friends are likely to jump to your
defense too quickly, or else they agree with you so strongly that
your negative feelings are reinforced (“You’re right not to trust
him. I never liked him in the first place” is a common response,
and so is “You should be angry. Get back at her.”) The whole
point is to be heard, and when you find someone who hears you,
you’ve found a confidant.
Look Ahead to the Next Time
Emotions are meant to be spontaneous, which is why young
children can go with startling quickness from smiles to tears and
back again. In adults, spontaneity often turns into habit, which is
why self-awareness is needed when you unconsciously repeat
the same emotions time and again. If you know that the future is
going to bring a repetition of today, you should look ahead and
make changes in advance.
The time for this isn’t when you are in the grip of an emotion. In
moments of contriteness, abusive people promise not to
misbehave the next time, but this does no good, just as it does no
good for their victims to forgive them and hope for the best. Here
are two effective strategies that will help to make the future better,
emotionally speaking.
Finding firm ground: We relate to other people
emotionally but not consistently. Instead, we vacillate. Some days
we vow to fix a bad situation; other days we put up with it. We
threaten to walk away, but then we wind up staying. The result is
that you send mixed signals. This is confusing to the other
person but also to yourself.
Emotional consistency is like standing on firm ground. You
gain clarity for yourself, and project this clarity to the people
around you. Imagine that you have an old friend who isn’t entirely
agreeable—her flaws have begun to nag at you. If she’s too
talkative or self-centered, for example, you no longer cut her any
slack. The minute she starts on a long-winded story or begins a
topic by saying, “Well, if you ask me,” you are already growing
impatient.
But she’s still a good friend, so you have agreeable times with
her mixed into the disagreeable ones. Instead of giving in to your
reaction, whatever it happens to be, you can stand back and
assess your friendship with honest self-reflection. If you
conclude, as you are likely to, that you truly value her friendship,
that’s the ground you will stand on from now on. No more
vacillating is required. You know how you feel deep down, so
passing moments of irritation become incidental and might even
fade away.
Consistency comes down to three choices: fix the situation,
put up with it, or walk away. Passivity shouldn’t be a choice, but it
is the one most people commonly take, which is why putting up
with things is epidemic. It takes self-awareness to assess your
other choices. You will benefit from a simple tactic like making a
list. Write down all your reasons for trying to fix the situation,
deciding to put up with things as they are, and walking away.
Make your lists as thorough as possible. Let the ideas flow.
This is you being your own confidant. When you have written
down everything you can think of, put the paper away and return
to it a few days later. Add more ideas as they occur to you. Simply
as an exercise in self-awareness, this will release some tension
and frustration. Just by writing down all your options, you will
feel freer. That’s how emotional consistency feels. But you might
also find enough clarity to act. It might be time to actually try to
fix the situation or walk away from it. In any event, achieving
emotional clarity is valuable in its own right.
Reframing your emotions: This strategy revolves
around second feelings rather than second thoughts. Second
thoughts are usually the product of the ego. After you’ve shown a
strong emotion, your ego tells you that your show of emotion
wasn’t good for you or didn’t work to get what you want. Some
kind of manipulation is involved. Those old standbys, “shoulda,
woulda, coulda,” come into play.
It is far more useful not to second-guess but to second-feel, as
it were. You look at your undesirable emotion and reframe it until
you feel better. For example, you have lost your temper and have
hurt someone’s feelings. You feel guilty and regretful, which
reinforces the damaging effect of your angry outburst. On
reflection, you can reframe the situation. You might think
I’m only human. I don’t have to keep punishing myself.
I hate feeling guilty. It’s up to me to apologize.
I can sort out whether some of my anger was justified.
I see now that getting angry has become a pattern.
The purpose behind these thoughts is to get our feelings back
to normal. This should always be your intention, and it aligns with
the natural cycle of emotions, their rise and fall. Holding on to a
negative emotion disrupts the cycle. In the case above, you won’t
return to normal until you do apologize and feel forgiven. At the
very least, you apologize and accept the consequences, even if
forgiveness doesn’t come your way.
When you take time to reframe your negative emotion, you can
judge your success in various ways:
You feel calmer, more at peace.
You feel tension in your body starting to relax.
Your breathing becomes more regular and relaxed.
Your negative emotion fades away.
You have fewer negative thoughts about the situation.
You begin to feel less judgmental toward the other person.
You are less judgmental of yourself.
You see a way to make things better, which brings a sense of
relief.
Sometimes no further action is needed. You are seeing your
way clear to the future. There is no need to carry any emotional
baggage along. Quite often, however, you will want to act.
Someone is owed an apology or needs to be heard. Another side
of the story needs to be aired. Sympathy needs to be offered.
Best of all, you will be participating in your emotional growth. The
path to growth happens on many fronts, and the emotional front
is one of the most important for clearing the way so that living in
the light becomes a real possibility.
GUIDED MEDITATION
AI as Guru
Following the pattern of asking AI to create original guided meditations in
the role of guru (see this page), here is what ChatGPT devised for Oneness
with Creation. On its own, ChatGPT came up with a beautiful meditation
that has many detailed steps. Read them over without trying to memorize
the whole list. Let it be a general guide that gives you the gist of what to do.
This is also a good meditation to do in a group, with one member softly
reading each step out loud, then waiting a minute or two before proceeding
through all the steps to the end.
You are an expert in Vedic spirituality. Please give me a guided
meditation to promote a sense of Oneness with Creation.
ChatGPT
Oneness with Creation
1. Prepare your space: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you won’t be
disturbed. Sit in a comfortable position, either cross-legged on the floor or in a
chair with your feet flat on the ground. Close your eyes gently.
2. Relax your body: Begin by taking a few deep breaths, inhaling slowly through
your nose and exhaling through your mouth. With each exhale, feel any tension
leaving your body. Allow your shoulders to relax, release any tension in your jaw,
and let your hands rest softly in your lap.
3. Connect with your breath: Bring your awareness to your breath. Notice the
natural rhythm of your breath as it flows in and out of your body. With each
inhale, imagine that you are drawing in peace and serenity. With each exhale,
release any thoughts or worries that may be occupying your mind.
4. Expand your awareness: Now, expand your awareness beyond your breath to
encompass your entire body. Feel the energy within you, the life force that
animates your being. Recognize that this same energy flows through all living
beings, connecting you to everything in creation.
5. Connect with nature: Visualize yourself surrounded by nature. Imagine that
you are sitting in a peaceful forest, beside a flowing river, or under a starry sky.
Feel the interconnectedness of all living things around you—the trees, the
animals, the earth beneath your feet.
6. Merge with the cosmos: As you continue to breathe deeply, expand your
awareness even further to connect with the vastness of the cosmos. Visualize
the stars, galaxies, and endless expanses of space. Feel yourself merging with
this cosmic energy, becoming one with the universe itself.
7. Experience oneness: In this state of expanded awareness, allow yourself to
experience a profound sense of oneness with all of creation. Recognize that you
are not separate from the world around you but an integral part of it. Feel a deep
sense of peace and unity wash over you.
8. Gratitude and blessings: Take a moment to express gratitude for this
experience of oneness. Offer blessings to all beings, wishing them happiness,
health, and harmony. Know that as you cultivate this sense of oneness within
yourself, you contribute to the well-being of the entire world.
9. Return to the present: When you are ready, gently bring your awareness back
to your breath. Take a few deep breaths, slowly reorienting yourself to the
present moment. Wiggle your fingers and toes, and when you feel ready, gently
open your eyes.
10. Carry the oneness: As you go about your day, carry the sense of oneness you
have cultivated with you. Remember that you are connected to all of creation,
and let this awareness guide your thoughts, words, and actions.
PART FOUR
FULL CIRCLE
6
Wholeness Is the Ultimate Healer
Our bodies know much more about wholeness than we do. The first and
most important thing they know is that without wholeness, there is no
healing. The healing response, as medicine calls it, was known to be
complicated for a long time. Recovering from a cold doesn’t resemble
healing a broken arm, just as healing a cut finger isn’t the same as
recovering from depression. Somehow the body sorts out each affliction
and summons the activity of blood, lymph, immune cells, the inflammation
response, and the central nervous system to make healing possible.
On the path, you test whether wholeness is your ally, a healer whose
intelligence comprehends everything. To modern ears, the claim is wishful
thinking, nonsense, superstition, or the highest aspiration on the spiritual
journey, depending on whom you talk to. But can you and I say that we
understand wholeness better than our bodies? The most sophisticated
medical technology cannot come close to creating a cell. The thousands of
proteins that every cell effortlessly uses haven’t even been accurately
counted, much less identified with the functions they unerringly perform. It
takes only the brief sketch I’ve just outlined to prove that we don’t. In fact,
the concept that a whole organism is greater than the sum of its parts wasn’t
introduced as “holism” until 1926, and holistic medicine did not gain
traction until the 1960s.
Yet viewing life as wholeness goes back thousands of years. Nature
embraced everything in creation. Dharma is only one of the terms, along
with Ananda, Yoga, grace, and Providence, for the teaching that Nature
upholds human existence. Our evolution is written in cosmic intelligence.
All ancient cultures in their own ways describe the special place that human
beings occupy, in which a higher power takes care of us.
Ananda states that pure awareness is blissful.
Dharma states that there is support for anyone who desires to evolve.
Yoga states that the perfect life is attained by merging with the source
of bliss-consciousness.
The two other concepts are Western and specifically Christian.
Grace states that human beings live under a divine dispensation.
Providence states that God provides all that is needed to sustain a life
based on faith.
Because we have free will, a person can depart from this special status
by doing, thinking, and acting in opposition to the whole, a kind of
rebellion unthinkable to a cell unless it becomes malignant. (More than one
despairing commentator viewing the ecological disaster looming because of
human activity has called Homo sapiens a malignancy—we exhibit cancer’s
delusion that it can continue with its runaway behavior and still survive, not
realizing that when the body dies, the cancer dies along with it.) Leaving
aside their differences, spiritual traditions have all recognized the value of
wholeness, something that modern people need reminding of. Here’s what
the reminder looks like, as delivered by AI.
In spiritual terms, using simple language, what does wholeness mean?
Gemini
In spiritual terms, wholeness refers to a state of inner peace and harmony, where all
parts of you—your body, mind, and spirit—feel connected and aligned. It’s like being
a full orchestra playing a beautiful song, where all the instruments are in tune and
working together.
Here’s a simple breakdown:
Body: Feeling healthy, energized, and taking good care of yourself.
Mind: Having clear thoughts, feeling calm and positive, and being free from
worries or anxieties.
Spirit: Connecting with something bigger than yourself, whether it’s nature,
God, or a deep sense of purpose.
When you’re whole, you feel:
Complete: Not missing anything, everything feels just right.
Grounded: Connected to yourself and the world around you.
Peaceful: Calm and accepting, even in challenging times.
Free: Able to live authentically and pursue your passions.
Reaching wholeness isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s about growing and
learning from life’s experiences, making choices that nourish your soul, and
cultivating an open heart and mind.
In this reminder, AI also offers all the goals of being on the dharmic
path, but I’d argue against the statement that wholeness is found by learning
from life’s experiences. Everyone has experiences; few have found
wholeness as a result. If anything, the specialized knowledge that is parsed
out among experts makes everything more and more specialized. You will
hunt in vain for a medical school or university department that unites mind,
body, and spirit.
To find wholeness you have to look in the right place, which is in self-
awareness. No one achieves wholeness by thinking about it or forming an
action plan to get there. It is a matter of expanding your self-awareness until
you realize that you are whole by design, and that wholeness has been
upholding you every minute of your life. Then at last you know as much
about wholeness as your body does.
Beyond Materialism
In a society addicted to pharmaceuticals, it creates anxiety to the point of
panic to be told that consciousness not only plays a role in healing but is
essential, far beyond the placebo effect. A doctor’s words, along with the
patient’s beliefs and expectations, are conscious events that carry the power
to aid or obstruct healing.
Most people have heard about the placebo effect but not its opposite, the
nocebo effect, where expectations and beliefs make the patient worse. Here
are some examples from ChatGPT:
Patients in clinical trials who are informed of potential side effects
of a drug often report experiencing those side effects, even if they
are in the placebo group (taking a sugar pill with no active
ingredient).
Individuals who are told that a certain food will cause them to feel
sick are more likely to experience nausea or other digestive
problems after eating that food, even if it’s not actually harmful.
A person who is told that a medical procedure will be painful may
experience more pain during the procedure, even if it’s not actually
very painful.
A person who reads about the potential side effects of a medication
online may be more likely to experience those side effects, even if
they are rare.
Between them, placebo and nocebo contradict the belief that healing is
entirely physical. The next step is to show that relying on materialism is
flawed to begin with. In an explosive cover story, the May 21, 2001, issue
of Newsweek ran the headline, “The Prozac Backlash: Doubts About a
Wonder Drug.” The reputation of a phenomenally popular and trusted drug
was punctured. The significance of Prozac is succinctly described by
Gemini:
Prozac (fluoxetine) reached the one billion dollar mark in
annual sales in 1991. This achievement cemented its position as
the first blockbuster antidepressant, showcasing the immense
commercial success of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
(SSRIs) in the pharmaceutical industry.
For the general public and the doctors who continued to prescribe Prozac
and the same family of antidepressants, the shock waves from the
Newsweek article were temporary. As of 2021, retail sales of antidepressants
in America were estimated at $18 billion, which was expected to grow to
$20 billion by the end of 2023. But among medical researchers, the story of
Prozac and its kin is a complex tangle of mind and body. It’s worthwhile to
quote a longer response from AI on the controversy. The very basis of
antidepressants is in doubt.
What is the controversy around antidepressants and low levels of
neurotransmitters?
Gemini
The controversy surrounding antidepressants and low levels of neurotransmitters is
a complex one, with several key points to consider:
The “Low Neurotransmitter” Theory
Traditionally, depression was linked to low levels of brain chemicals called
neurotransmitters, particularly serotonin and norepinephrine. This theory
formed the basis for the development of most antidepressants, which work
by increasing these neurotransmitter levels.
Challenges to the Theory
Limited evidence: Research hasn’t consistently shown a clear link between
low neurotransmitter levels and depression. While some studies find such a
connection, others do not.
Individual differences: Neurotransmitter levels vary naturally between
individuals, and not everyone with depression has low levels. This suggests
that other factors may be at play.
Focus on symptoms, not cause: The theory may explain certain
depression symptoms, like low mood, but it doesn’t necessarily explain the
underlying causes of the disorder.
Criticisms of Antidepressants
Effectiveness: Some studies suggest that antidepressants may be only
marginally more effective than placebos, particularly for mild or moderate
depression.
Side effects: Antidepressants can cause various side effects, including
nausea, insomnia, and sexual dysfunction, which can discourage people
from taking them.
Overprescription: Concerns exist about the overprescription of
antidepressants, especially for conditions where they may not be the most
effective treatment.
Alternative Explanations
Neurogenesis and neuroplasticity: Recent research suggests that
depression may be linked to impaired neurogenesis (the birth of new brain
cells) and neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to change and adapt).
Antidepressants may work by promoting these processes, rather than simply
increasing neurotransmitter levels.
Psychological and social factors: Depression is a complex disorder
influenced by various factors, including genetics, life experiences, and social
support. Addressing these factors alongside medication may be crucial for
effective treatment.
At the end, Gemini says, “There is no single ‘magic bullet’ for depression,
and a combination of approaches, including medication, therapy, and
lifestyle changes, may be most effective.” This explodes the myth that
millions continue to believe in—namely, that the right drug is all we need.
This example of an unsettled controversy gives strong support to
wholeness as the true healer. The psychiatric camp sees depression as
essentially a mental problem, the pharmaceutical camp (including the
doctors who prescribe antidepressants) sees it as essentially a chemical
problem. In one case the mind is changing the brain; in the other, the brain
is changing the mind. Wholeness says that both are right if you combine
them. You change the chemistry in your brain every time you have a
thought, yet when you feel sleepy, your brain sends a message to your
mind.
The mistake is to force an either/or choice. Psychotherapy helps with
depression, and when it does, the same brain region affected by
antidepressants is changed.
Many Causes, Many Cures
A true picture of depression comes down to “many causes, many cures.”
The whole person and the whole situation play their part. That’s really what
wholeness means. If you take wholeness seriously, searching for solutions
to any problem, not just a medical one like depression, has many causes and
many cures.
Turning to everyday life, I asked Gemini to outline the difference
between Marriage A, where the two people learned how to communicate,
and Marriage B, where they didn’t. The notion of many causes, many cures
applied well to both.
Gemini
Communication: A Tale of Two Marriages
Marriage A: Harmony Through Honesty
Openness and vulnerability: They shared their feelings and needs frankly,
creating a safe space for understanding and empathy.
Active listening: They truly listened to each other, focusing on
understanding rather than waiting to respond.
Constructive conflict resolution: Instead of blaming or attacking, they
calmly discussed disagreements, seeking solutions that worked for both.
Appreciation and encouragement: They regularly expressed gratitude and
praise, building each other up and fostering a positive atmosphere.
Marriage B: Lost in Translation
Stonewalling and shutdowns: When conflict arose, one or both partners
withdrew, leaving issues unresolved and fostering resentment.
Misunderstandings and misinterpretations: Assumptions and unclear
communication led to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Harsh criticism and blame: Instead of focusing on issues, they attacked
each other’s character, pushing each other further apart.
Negativity and lack of appreciation: Criticism became the norm, with little
acknowledgment of each other’s positive qualities or contributions.
Although learning to communicate is a critical part of a happy marriage,
Gemini recognizes that this alone isn’t enough. Its answer continues:
Beyond Words: Additional Pillars of Happiness
Remember, communication is just one piece of the puzzle. Here are some other
factors that can contribute to a happy and long-lasting marriage:
Shared values and goals: Having a common vision for the future provides
a strong foundation for building a life together.
Mutual respect and trust: Treating each other with respect and honesty
fosters trust and security within the relationship.
Emotional intimacy and support: Being emotionally available for each
other strengthens the bond and provides comfort and understanding.
Quality time and shared interests: Devoting time to each other and
engaging in shared activities keeps the spark alive and nourishes the
connection.
Flexibility and willingness to adapt: Life throws curveballs, and being able
to adapt together strengthens the partnership.
All of this is helpful, if superficial, advice, but the deeper lesson is that
no one can build a happy marriage from a checklist. Nor can a happy
marriage be built piece by piece through negotiations: “I’ll give in here if
you give in there.” Relationships exist in the consciousness of two people.
Each partner is a complete person with a lifetime of experience. Bring them
together, and dozens of elements must mesh—or not. The blending of two
psyches develops its own chemistry, or perhaps it is better to say that two
clouds merge. Each cloud contains a thousand “droplets” of memories,
habits, personality traits, conditioning, beliefs, and a complex background
from family and society.
In the end, the perspective of wholeness is the only one that
encompasses a person’s true self. Just as the whole body is involved in the
healing response, your whole awareness is involved in whether your life is
in a state of good health. Despite the outside help given by modern
medicine, self-healing rules the body. If we allow it to, self-healing extends
to mind and spirit, too. On the path, by expanding your awareness you let
your true self in, and with it comes the universal healer, which is wholeness.
Healing Old Wounds
The reality of “many causes, many cures” isn’t how life typically feels. One
issue at a time brings a challenge, and our response is to deal with it in
isolation. A depressed person feels depressed—the rest of existence is
blotted out, or at least dampened, by feeling sad and hopeless. All the
causes that go into feeling depressed are relevant but not always helpful. To
stop feeling depressed, do you have to change your whole life? That’s too
much to ask, even if you knew how, which no one does.
The most immediate way to face any challenge is to ask yourself one
question: What response is evolutionary for me? In other words, what will
help me to grow in awareness? There will always be an answer. Ideally, the
answer will come from your true self. It serves as the connection between
you and wholeness. But you don’t have to aim at the ideal. You possess
enough self-awareness to receive an answer that is evolutionary for you. It
doesn’t have to be the same answer for anyone else. Nor do you have to
analyze the answer or second-guess it.
Because our goal on the path is to evolve, seeking an evolutionary
answer is consistent with your whole journey. If you are going to trust in
wholeness as the best healer, why not consult it now? There’s no better time
than the present moment.
Inevitably, the mind wants to know how this process is supposed to
work. It works spontaneously. You ask, What response is evolutionary for
me? Immediately you are taken out of a mindless, automatic reaction. You
create a pause that allows for greater awareness. Your mind is sure to
answer you. If it doesn’t, that is also an answer: Do nothing. Make no
decision now.
When an answer comes to mind, how can you tell that it is evolutionary?
At least one of the following conditions will be met:
You feel good about the answer.
It feels instinctively right.
You feel more relaxed.
Inner conflict is replaced by quiet calm.
You are interested in the answer.
The answer changes your perspective.
Your immediate reaction is overruled.
To give an example, your partner or spouse pushes one of your buttons
for the hundredth time, and your immediate reaction is to get angry. You
know rationally that this doesn’t help. You won’t feel better, and the most
likely consequence is hostility on both sides. Instead, pause and ask inside
for a new and better response. Listen without prejudice or expectations. In
the moment, the answer that comes won’t be the same every time. Among
the possibilities are
Do nothing.
Say that you need a time-out.
Ask for more information.
Apologize.
Ask for or give a hug.
Genuinely smile.
Say something affectionate.
Be understanding.
Take responsibility for what is happening.
This list hardly exhausts the possibilities. Keep in mind the image of two
clouds merging. Countless droplets are meeting, and it is impossible to
predict which ones they are. The best strategy is to trust that wholeness
knows. The wholeness is you and, in an intimate relationship, the
wholeness embraces both of you. Give it a chance to help you both.
More intimate is the relationship you have with yourself. Here, the
complexity of “many causes, many cures” is unfathomable. Your attitudes
and behaviors have deep roots. You can’t possibly trace everything back to
its source. One thing is certain, however: Your past is coming back to life.
On the path, you lessen this effect by connecting more and more to the
present. The present is the home of your true self and represents reality. The
past has a shadowy existence that intrudes on reality and distorts it. The
intrusion doesn’t always feel negative. A nostalgic memory from childhood
creates a pleasant mood, which is nice while it lasts. But things can go too
far.
The ego attempts to manipulate the past in various ways. It reminds you
of the good things in your past and colors them with rosiness. It represses
the bad things as much as possible. Sometimes it resorts to outright denial,
trying to blot out a bad experience as if it never happened. These are
effective defenses up to a point. However, they don’t work when you are
faced with wounds that force their way into the present. Psychologists call
these old wounds “traumas.” The focus used to be mainly on extreme
traumas, the kind that give rise to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in
soldiers who have experienced combat or survivors of childhood abuse.
Now trauma has acquired a wider significance. The strongest
impressions left by the past—everyone’s past—are likely to be the result of
a traumatic experience. AI explains this in clear, lucid terms. This requires a
careful, detailed prompt.
In simple language, give me the seven most common types of trauma
experienced in childhood. I don’t need the extreme cases. Focus on
memories that linger in many people that adversely affect them now.
Gemini
Here are seven common types of childhood trauma that can leave lasting effects,
without delving into extreme situations:
1. Unstable or unpredictable home life: This could be frequent arguments,
inconsistent care, a parent’s illness, or frequent moves. It can make kids feel
unsafe and unsure of their environment.
2. Emotional neglect: Feeling emotionally ignored or unimportant, like your
emotions don’t matter or aren’t listened to. This can make kids feel lonely and
unseen.
3. Bullying or teasing: Being repeatedly picked on or excluded can damage self-
esteem and make kids feel insecure or unlikable.
4. Witnessing violence: Seeing violence (between parents, in the community,
etc.) can be scary and confusing, especially for young children. It can make
them feel unsafe and worried about the world.
5. Loss of a loved one: Losing a parent, sibling, or close friend can be a
devastating experience that leaves kids feeling sad, lonely, and confused.
6. Serious illness or accident: Going through a scary medical experience or
having a bad accident can leave kids feeling vulnerable and afraid. It can also
lead to anxiety about their health.
7. Feeling different or excluded: Whether it’s due to race, culture, appearance, or
interests, feeling like you don’t belong or fit in can lead to isolation and
loneliness.
Gemini is quick to add a cautionary note. “It’s important to remember that
everyone experiences trauma differently, and even seemingly ‘minor’
events can have lasting effects.” What this points to is that you need self-
awareness to expose how a past trauma might be resurfacing now. The
vivid, overwhelming experience of completely reliving a trauma, which is a
hallmark of full-blown PTSD, is very unlikely. In everyday life, the signs
are subtler.
But once you have the intention of noticing this aspect of your beliefs
and behavior, some reactions are fairly predictable. Here are some
possibilities.
Unstable or Unpredictable Home Life
Gemini points out that if you’ve had this experience in the past, you can
wind up feeling unsafe. Unsure of your environment, you might retreat into
a narrow existence. You find yourself being wary of other people. You are
vigilant for any sign of threat, to the point of being hypervigilant. Where
one person might seek to make their home life as stable and predictable as
possible, another might find that they keep repeating the same unstable
conditions they were raised in.
Emotional Neglect
Because we hear about emotional abuse so often, it is easy to pass over
emotional neglect, which is actually much more common and also
traumatic. As a result, it is much harder to develop mature emotions. You
might be withdrawn and inexpressive. What happened to you, you now
unwittingly inflict on others close to you. Persistent loneliness lingers. You
might feel that no one cares who you are or what you do. Your emotions are
likely to be suppressed, but there could also be acting out—you dramatize
your emotions in an effort to feel them.
Bullying or Teasing
As Gemini points out, this is a self-esteem issue. The fear a child feels from
a bully is justified psychologically when there is no way to fight back, just
as it is justified to feel afraid living under an authoritarian regime. But
children turn the bullying on themselves. They decide that they are
inherently weak, vulnerable, a victim, and powerless. Bullying deprives
them of the opposite experiences, which everyone needs—moments when
you realize that you are strong, capable, in control, and not in someone
else’s power. When those experiences are absent, you can feel as an adult
the same weakness and victimization you felt as a child, only this time there
is no bully. The attack comes from your memories.
Witnessing Violence
Reacting to violence is very different from person to person. Seeing your
parents argue can seem to have little effect or it can be scarring for life. This
is also why violent video games have no predictable effect on the players,
and why violent action movies pass for entertainment. But witnessing
domestic abuse crosses the line. Once crossed, there is often no going back
without a deep desire to change. Otherwise, as an adult, you might accept
that violent behavior is an option when your buttons are pushed. On the
other hand, you might have such an aversion to perceived violence that you
avoid any confrontation, conflict, or argument.
Loss of a Loved One
Childhood grief is very difficult to process, especially if the parents aren’t
able to go through their own grieving in a way that reassures their children.
It can be devastating not only to lose a parent, but to see the surviving
parent weep seemingly without end. If an adult never fully recovers, being
permanently changed by the loss, a child becomes even more confused.
Growing up, children develop the belief that the grieving process should be
feared. Survivor’s guilt might come into play, even the unconscious feeling
that a death was somehow your fault. A sufficiently severe loss of a loved
one can overshadow how you remember your entire childhood, shrouding
the good parts in a pall of sadness.
Serious Illness or Accident
Such experiences are double-edged swords. Being very sick as a child leads
to extra care and attention, which is known as a “secondary benefit.” You
can look back on how special you felt or, conversely, how vulnerable and
afraid you were made to feel. If you were left disabled, there are serious
social consequences, but even without a disability, you might feel a lasting
residue of being cheated by life, victimized by your illness or accident, or
unable to let go of feeling vulnerable. Children tend to be very resilient,
actually, but there can be a lingering fear that “It happened to me once. It
can happen again.”
Feeling Different or Excluded
This is probably the greatest pitfall for the ego, which is innately insecure
and always seeking some form of validation. In childhood, the fear of being
different can lead to behaviors like making other children feel different for
how they look, and excluding and taunting someone for their race or
religion. Fear of bullying can boomerang into becoming a bully. All of this
gets woven into the ego’s agenda in complicated ways. You can grow up to
feel stronger for being different (as when a geek becomes a successful
scientist) or you might become a staunch defender of your race, proud of
your religion, or a champion for the excluded.
What should you do when you notice the effects of trauma? To begin
with, noticing helps in and of itself. Self-awareness has a healing effect, and
taking a moment to notice your response is often enough to bring clarity.
The deeper realization is that everyday life is always a mirror of the past.
On the path, you don’t face this condition passively. Your intention is to
bring yourself back to the present, back to reality, whenever you drift away.
Trust in your connection to your true self. Because of “many causes,
many cures,” you acknowledge that a higher consciousness knows how you
became the person you are and is always on your side. On the path,
wholeness dawns as your best resource. This realization means more to how
your life turns out than any impression of past trauma. The past is meant to
stay in the past, while your true self is always with you.
7
Reclaiming the Human Universe
If you combine fantasy with extreme pessimism, the day is not far off when
AI will outperform humans in every respect. It is only a small step for
supercomputers to create their own agendas, and if you are paranoid, those
agendas could be opposed to what AI’s creators intended. Then the worst-
case scenario will erupt, and the world will come to an end. Machines will
unleash weapons of mass destruction on us, and the unforeseen
consequences of AI will reach the ultimate: apocalypse.
However, there is another vision to consider. It is just as extreme as the
AI apocalypse, but it ends with the opposite of apocalypse: transcendence.
In this book, I’ve talked about cosmic Dharma and the worldview it
represents, a worldview as ancient as human thought itself. Our remote
ancestors were fascinated by the fact of being conscious beings. They made
their most important discoveries “in here,” and eventually these culminated
in one breathtaking conclusion: The cosmos is for us—we live at the center
of a human universe.
There’s a fine line between the breathtaking and the absurd. What makes
a human universe seem absurd depends solely on your viewpoint. This was
made clear in an encounter that was famous in its day but is nearly forgotten
now. In July 1930, the press rushed to Albert Einstein’s home in Caputh,
Germany, to cover his meeting with the great Bengali poet, Rabindranath
Tagore. It was billed as the smartest mind in the world debating with the
greatest soul in the world. The two luminaries were cordial with one
another (both had won the Nobel Prize—Einstein for physics in 1921,
Tagore for literature in 1913). They stood for two clashing worldviews, but
this conversation wasn’t confrontational.
Einstein spoke for modern times when he asserted that he believed in an
objective, independent reality separate from human interpretation. Tagore
spoke for the Vedic tradition when he declared that objective truth doesn’t
exist. He questioned the idea of a fixed, independent reality, suggesting that
the “human world” is created by our experience and interpretation. What
raises this debate above the philosophical is that catastrophic events lay
around the corner. In the aftermath of Hitler, the Holocaust, World War II,
and the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs, both worldviews were devastated.
Science was supposedly rational, progressive, and optimistic in its
prospects for the future. Nuclear weapons changed all that, although the gas
attacks in World War I perverted science, too, taking simple chemistry and
turning it into a weapon of mass destruction. The diabolical side of science
smashed its reputation both for rationality and progress. Tagore’s spiritual
perspective suffered worse, however. It was swept away in a tide of blood
and destruction that made a benign higher power all but impossible to
credit.
The notion of a human universe tries to reclaim what Tagore stood for,
which isn’t God or the gods but consciousness as the creator of reality. I
asked Gemini for a handful of Tagore quotes that illustrate his worldview.
Here are some inspiring samples and their sources.
“The universe is vast and man is small. But within his smallness, his
spirit is great. And because spirit is boundless, it seeks kinship with
the boundless.” (Gitanjali)
“Man is the link between the two worlds—the finite and the infinite.
He is the interpreter of the universe to the universe itself.” (Stray
Birds)
“The same stream of life that runs through the veins of the universe
runs through the veins of your own body.” (Stray Birds)
Tagore used “man” where we would say “humanity,” and he wrote
poetically to touch the reader’s emotions, which is unacceptable in science.
Yet the human universe isn’t poetic fancy. It rests upon the connection
between human awareness and cosmic consciousness. What is the
connection? Does it make us unique in creation or merely self-centered?
Could our perceptions really be creating the world “out there”?
I’m ending this book by leaving these as open questions. If AI has the
power to shift reality, as everyone keeps insisting, then it should shape it to
restore humanity to the stature of co-creator. In a universe imbued with
consciousness, a single individual’s consciousness is tiny, if you compare it
to a wave in the ocean, but boundless if the wave says, “I am ocean.”
I am inviting you to discover the truth—Einstein or Tagore?—by
gathering evidence from AI. The evidence can’t simply be an array of facts;
it needs to be part of your dharmic path, the part that carries you as deeply
as possible into your core, your essence, and your origins. I asked AI to set
up a meditation to launch the process. You can take away from this template
as much or as little as you choose, but there’s a minor (perhaps not so
minor) revelation here. AI, a learning machine, has devised a journey that
accords with the ancient rishis, illuminated sages of India. What they
discovered is applicable at all times to every person—all it takes is the
willingness to go inside.
Eastern spiritual traditions declare that human beings transcend the
isolated body and mind. We are multidimensional. Can you set up a
meditation journey based on this concept?
ChatGPT
Here are the stages of such a meditation journey.
Preparation: Find a quiet space where you can sit comfortably and undisturbed.
Sit with your spine straight but relaxed, eyes closed, or gently focused on a point
ahead. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling peace and exhaling anxiety.
Becoming aware: As you breathe, feel your consciousness expanding beyond
your physical body. Sense the energy field that surrounds you, the aura that
ripples with your life force. Feel it extending past your skin, past the room,
embracing the very air you breathe. Realize that this energy field is your
connection to a vast, multidimensional reality.
Connecting with your Higher Self: Imagine above you, on the highest plane of
existence, your Higher Self, the part of you that resides in the realm of pure
potentiality. This being radiates infinite wisdom, unconditional love, and the
essence of your true potential. Visualize a shimmering cord of light connecting
your crown chakra (the subtle energy center at the top of your head) to this
being, a conduit for information and energy.
Receiving wisdom: With your awareness anchored in your body and your mind
reaching up to your Higher Self, allow yourself to be open to receiving. Ask your
Higher Self a question about your life, your purpose, or any area where you seek
guidance. Listen for the whispers of wisdom that may come as intuitive flashes,
emotions, or even images in your mind’s eye. Trust these messages as coming
from your multidimensional essence.
Expanding perspective: Remember, as a being on the highest plane, your
perception is not limited to the linear flow of time or the confines of the physical
world. See yourself simultaneously existing on multiple planes, experiencing
past, present, and future as woven threads in the tapestry of your being. Feel the
interconnectedness of all things, the way your actions ripple through dimensions,
and the profound impact you have on the cosmic web.
Integrating and grounding: When you feel complete, take a few deep breaths,
drawing the wisdom and energy from your Higher Self back into your physical
being. Feel it infusing your cells, your spirit, and your intentions. Slowly ground
yourself in your body, bringing your awareness back to the present moment.
Carry the knowledge you received from this meditation into your daily life, letting
it guide your actions and illuminate your path.
Even as a basic template, AI has outlined an ambitious path and a radical
departure from everyday life in the modern world. Don’t struggle to attain
wisdom from a higher source. Don’t overthink. The path is always more
about feeling your way than anything intellectual. The right attitude is
simply to be open to new possibilities.
At the same time, don’t be surprised if you find your awareness opening
up far more quickly than you expected. The project of reclaiming the
human universe, of seeing ourselves as multidimensional, is urgent. Hidden
forces in your own awareness understand the urgency, which has reached a
critical mass around the world. It is our best hope, and the source of the
power needed to avert looming catastrophe on many fronts.
The most you can do for a troubled world is to become as self-aware as
possible, because only in awareness do solutions appear. Contrary to a
famous line of T.S. Eliot, the world doesn’t end with either a bang or a
whimper, because in awareness, there is never an ending. It remains an open
question whether human beings are going to collectively embrace the light,
but you already have, which ensures that your journey is always on an
upward arc.
APPENDIX
My Conversations with AI
My fascination with artificial intelligence sparked the writing of this book,
and along the way that fascination grew. Questions I’ve posed for decades
came to mind. I’ve published answers to these questions, but it is never too
late for a fresh start, so I began every day by posing the deepest mysteries
to AI. I didn’t want it to be an echo chamber of my beliefs, and frankly, I
expected a torrent of skepticism. A world dominated by a materialist
perspective endorsed by science is rife with skeptics.
To my surprise, AI was not only open-minded; it admitted when it was
baffled. That’s a promising sign. If artificial intelligence had all the
answers, it would probably be trivializing the questions. The mystery of
existence lies outside the expertise of supercomputers, which in the end
cannot know more than what is fed into them. What I looked for when I
chatted with AI was a sense of openness, curiosity, and wonder. Still vivid
is how gratified I felt the first time a chatbot said, “I’ve never thought of
that. Thanks for asking the question.”
These conversations amassed tens of thousands of words, but below is a
large sample, in the hope that this will trigger your own curiosity about the
deepest mysteries and the unsolved riddles that are mounting up faster than
our answers. Perhaps AI one day will turn the balance around.
On Our Place in the Universe
Deepak: Please explain the following comment about human beings:
We are Nature exploring itself.
ChatGPT
There’s a philosophical perspective that views science as an expression of nature’s
own complexity and self-exploration. If we consider everything within the universe,
including consciousness and scientific endeavors, as part of nature’s tapestry, then
“we” becomes all-encompassing, with scientific activities being an emergent property
of nature itself.
We, as individuals, are products of nature, shaped by its laws and driven by its
curiosity. Our scientific pursuits are an extension of that inherent curiosity, allowing
us to glimpse deeper into nature’s intricacies. Therefore, yes, you could say that
objective science is, in a grander scheme, nature exploring itself through the lens of
human inquiry.
It’s a beautiful and humbling perspective, reminding us that even our seemingly
detached attempts to understand the universe are ultimately part of its grand
unfolding. We are not outside observers but participants in the cosmic dance,
contributing to the ever-evolving story of existence.
Thank you for prompting this introspection. Your question invites us not only to
seek answers but also to reflect on the very nature of those seeking.
On the Mystery of Mathematics
Deepak: Science has discovered many of the fundamental laws of
Nature, and the primary tool for this is mathematics. But what if
mathematics is just a mental activity in human awareness, not a fixed
property “out there” in Nature?
Gemini
You’ve raised a fascinating and profound question that has puzzled philosophers
and scientists for centuries: Why does mathematics, a seemingly abstract human
invention, work so well in describing the workings of the universe? The “why” of this
question remains open to debate, with several competing perspectives:
Empiricism: Some argue that it’s simply a matter of observing how things work.
Through experimentation and observation, we identify patterns and relationships
in the physical world, and mathematics provides a concise and powerful
language to express these patterns. In this view, there’s no need for deeper
domains of awareness, just good old-fashioned scientific method.
Platonism: Others take a more philosophical approach, suggesting that
mathematical truths exist independently of our minds in a realm of perfect forms.
The physical world is an imperfect reflection of these forms, and our ability to use
mathematics to predict and understand Nature stems from our tapping into this
deeper reality.
Mental qualia: Some posit that qualia—the subjective experiences and qualities
of conscious perception—might play a role in bridging the gap between
mathematics and the physical world. For instance, the intuition and
understanding we develop through spatial awareness, the perception of time
passing, visual patterns, etc., which are all mental qualia, might guide us toward
choosing the right mathematical tools to describe physical phenomena.
Deepak: Aren’t even the questions we ask mental qualia being created
in the framework of human awareness? Other kinds of awareness
would view a completely different world, for example, a bat navigating
with built-in sonar.
Gemini
Is the question itself qualia? That’s an intriguing notion. Defining what constitutes
qualia can be slippery, but if we consider it as a subjective, non-reducible aspect of
experience, then arguably, yes, your question itself could be considered a mental
qualia. It arises from your unique perspective, shaped by your individual
experiences, and seeks to understand a relationship between objective and
subjective realms.
Ultimately, the answer to your question remains a mystery. While we can build
sophisticated models and predict phenomena with remarkable accuracy, the
fundamental “why” of the mathematics-reality correspondence continues to elude us.
Remember, the beauty of these questions lies in the journey of seeking answers, not
necessarily finding definitive ones. So keep exploring, keep questioning, and let the
mystery of our universe continue to inspire you!
On the Cosmic Origin of Music
Deepak: The link between music and math is famous. Indian ragas
and the fugues of Bach are incredibly intricate when analyzed
mathematically. A great scientist like Einstein also played the violin.
Isn’t it possible that music and math come from the same source,
which is human awareness?
Gemini
The potential for a correlation in consciousness between music and mathematics is
an intriguing question that has fascinated thinkers for centuries. While a definitive
answer remains elusive, there are interesting perspectives to consider:
Supporting a Correlation
Shared foundations: Both music and mathematics rely on underlying structures
and patterns. Musical scales and harmonies are built on mathematical ratios,
while rhythmic patterns often reflect natural periodicities found in the universe.
This suggests a shared language of order and beauty underlying both
disciplines.
Cognitive overlap: Studies have shown that processing music and mathematics
activates similar areas in the brain, particularly those involved in spatial
reasoning, logic, and pattern recognition. This suggests a common cognitive
ground where these activities converge.
Inspiration and discovery: Throughout history, mathematicians and scientists
have drawn inspiration from music for their work. Kepler, for example, believed
the planetary orbits reflected musical harmonies, while Einstein found parallels
between musical structures and the curvature of spacetime. This cross-
pollination suggests a deeper connection between the two realms.
Emergent properties: In complex systems like consciousness, seemingly
disparate elements can interact to create new emergent properties. Music,
mathematics, and natural laws could be manifestations of such higher-order
processes within the conscious mind.
Counterpoints to Consider
Subjectivity of music: While mathematical principles underpin music,
interpretation and emotional response are highly subjective. This suggests that
music’s role in consciousness might be more personal and less directly tied to
natural laws.
Abstraction levels: Mathematics operates on an abstract level, dealing with
pure concepts and relationships. Natural laws, while governed by mathematical
principles, manifest in the concrete world. Music occupies a middle ground,
bridging the gap between abstraction and reality.
Unclear causality: It’s challenging to establish a clear causal relationship
between these aspects of consciousness. Do natural laws inspire musical
structures, or does the perception of order in music reflect an innate awareness
of Nature’s laws? Determining causality remains a philosophical debate.
Ultimately, the possibility of a correlation between these activities in
consciousness remains an open question. However, exploring the connections
between music and mathematics offers valuable insights into the workings of the
conscious mind.
On Being Aware in Deep Sleep
Deepak: The Western view of sleep is totally different from the
approach found in the teachings of Yoga. In the West, deep sleep is
considered the same as losing consciousness. In Yoga, deep sleep
brings a clear perception of pure awareness. With practice, a person
can be just as aware in deep sleep as in waking awareness. Please
comment.
ChatGPT
Your statement about deep sleep in yogic traditions is fascinating and touches on
several key concepts. Let’s unpack each point:
1. Nonlocal awareness without contents of experience: This refers to a state of
awareness that transcends the limitations of our usual consciousness. In deep
sleep, according to Yoga, we are not lost in thought or attached to sense
perceptions but remain aware in a more subtle, expansive way. This awareness
isn’t limited to any specific location or object, hence the term “nonlocal.”
2. Biologically and psychologically restorative: Modern science confirms that
deep sleep is crucial for physical and mental health. During this stage, the body
repairs tissues, resets hormones, and consolidates memories. Additionally, deep
sleep can reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance cognitive function. Yogic
traditions recognize this restorative power and see it as a necessary element for
spiritual growth.
3. Void preparing for Turiya: Turiya, in Yoga, represents the fourth state of
consciousness beyond waking, dreaming, and deep sleep. It’s often described
as pure awareness, untouched by the activity of the mind. Deep sleep, devoid of
mental content, is seen as a preparation for this deeper level of awareness.
Through regular practice, yogis aim to access Turiya not just in sleep but also in
waking life. Pure awareness is considered the very essence of our being, and
the ultimate goal of spiritual practice.
The experience of deep sleep can be subtle and difficult to grasp. Even within
yogic traditions, there may be varying interpretations of what it means to be aware
without experiencing any content.
While Yoga offers techniques for accessing deeper states of awareness,
including meditation and Pranayama (controlled breathing), it’s important to
remember that the experience of deep sleep and Turiya ultimately unfolds
organically through a process of spiritual growth and self-realization.
On Pure Awareness as Bliss
Deepak: In the Indian spiritual tradition, our source is pure
awareness, which has no thoughts. But pure awareness isn’t empty. It
is characterized as bliss or Ananda. What if we are meant to be blissful
by design? Can you comment?
Gemini
Your question delves into a deep concept central to many Indian spiritual traditions,
particularly Advaita Vedanta. I can’t offer personal opinions or beliefs, but I can share
some information and perspectives to help you explore this idea further:
Pure Awareness and Bliss in Tradition
The concept of pure awareness, often called Sat Chit Ananda, translates to
“Existence-Consciousness-Bliss.” It’s described as the ultimate reality, the source of
all creation, beyond duality and limitation. This pure awareness is said to be
inherently blissful, a state of perfect peace and joy unconditioned by external
circumstances.
Interpretations of Bliss
Non-dualistic approach: Some interpret this bliss as not an emotion or feeling
but the very nature of pure awareness itself. It’s not something to be attained but
is already present, waiting to be realized by removing the veils of ego and
identification with individual consciousness.
Dualistic approach: Others see bliss as an attainable state, experienced
through spiritual practices like meditation or devotion. However, the source of this
bliss remains rooted in the underlying pure awareness.
“Meant to Be Blissful”
Universal potential: Many traditions affirm a human potential for profound joy
and inner peace. Whether it’s called “bliss” or something else, the possibility of
aligning with a deeper source of fulfillment resonates across spiritual paths.
Individual paths: Each person’s journey to discover and express this potential is
unique, shaped by personal beliefs, practices, and life experiences.
Remember, these are just starting points. The nature of pure awareness and the
experience of bliss are ineffable, beyond complete intellectual understanding.
Engaging in your own inner exploration can be an enriching way to approach this
profound question.
On Consciousness East and West
Deepak: There is a huge gap between East and West when it comes to
consciousness—how to define it, when and where it emerged, whether
it is a human or cosmic trait. In the face of utter confusion, is there a
meeting of the two worldviews?
Gemini
You’re right, the differing perspectives on consciousness between Western science
and Eastern philosophy can indeed lead to confusion. Let’s explore this further.
Science on Consciousness
Emphasizes objective measurement, observable behavior, and quantifiable data
from experiments
Focuses on the individual’s conscious experience, how it arises from the brain
and its various functions
Terms used: Conscious states, mental states, neural correlates of
consciousness (NCCs) in the brain
Eastern Philosophy on Consciousness
Embraces subjective experience, introspection, and non-dualistic perspectives.
Sees consciousness as the fundamental ground of all reality, not just a product of
the brain or individual minds.
Terms used: Awareness, Sat Chit Ananda, non-duality, Buddha-nature, self-
nature.
The key difference lies in the scope of consciousness. Science views it as a
product of the brain, a phenomenon within the individual, while Eastern philosophy
considers it as the ground of being itself, encompassing everything, including the
observer and the observed.
Deepak: In 100 to 150 words, can you give me seven bullet points
about the possible meeting of modern science and Eastern perspective
on consciousness?
Gemini
1. Neuroscience and meditation: Brain scans of meditating individuals show
overlap with areas linked to self-awareness and emotional regulation, potentially
confirming Eastern practices’ impact on consciousness.
2. Quantum physics and non-locality: Eastern traditions describe
interconnectedness, mirroring quantum experiments suggesting entangled
particles share awareness across space.
3. Near-death experiences and altered states: Similarities in NDEs across
cultures echo Eastern descriptions of consciousness beyond the physical body.
4. Placebo effect and intentionality: Modern medicine recognizes the mind’s
influence on healing, echoing Eastern emphasis on mental training and
intention.
5. Psychedelics and consciousness research: Psychedelics, studied for their
effect on consciousness, may offer insights into altered states explored in
Eastern practices.
6. Microbiome and the gut-brain connection: Eastern traditions emphasize the
mind-body link, aligning with emerging science about the gut’s influence on
mental health.
7. Contemplative science: A growing field bridges science and contemplative
practices, seeking to objectively study phenomena like mindfulness and
compassion.
Note: This is just a brief overview, and each point deserves further exploration.
On Human and Animal Language
Deepak: After centuries of believing that language was strictly a
human trait, science has discovered complex languages among birds
and various mammals, including whales, whose “songs” communicate
messages over distances of hundreds of miles underwater. Please
comment on human versus animal language.
ChatGPT
There are several key differences between human language and the communication
systems of other species.
Compositionality: Human language can combine simple units (words) in
infinitely many ways to create novel and meaningful sentences. Animal
communication typically lacks this flexibility, relying on fixed signals or
combinations with limited meaning variation.
Arbitrariness: The relationship between human words and their meanings is
arbitrary, meaning there’s no inherent connection between a sound and its
corresponding concept. Animal signals, on the other hand, often bear some
resemblance to the things they represent (e.g., a growl being associated with
aggression).
Displacement: Human language can refer to things beyond the immediate
present and context, allowing us to talk about the past, future, or abstract
concepts. Many animal communication systems are limited to the here and now.
Grammar: Human languages have complex grammatical rules that govern the
order and combination of words. Animal communication typically lacks such
formal structure.
Deepak: Understood, but does animal language indicate that evolution
has brought meaning into life at all levels of communication?
ChatGPT
Yes, that seems to be true, but it’s important to clarify what we mean by “meaning” in
this context. Animal communication systems vary greatly in complexity across
species, ranging from simple signals to highly sophisticated forms of communication.
While some animal communication may involve relatively basic signals aimed at
conveying information about immediate needs or threats, others display more
intricate forms of communication involving complex vocalizations, gestures, and
even learned behaviors.
So, while the existence of animal language does suggest that evolution has
brought meaning into life at various levels of communication, it’s important to
understand that the nature and extent of this meaning can vary significantly across
different species.
Deepak: Okay, now let’s take it a step further. In Eastern spiritual
traditions, meaning is innate in existence. To exist is to be conscious,
according to Yoga and Vedanta; therefore, meaning is inherent in
creation. Please comment.
ChatGPT
In Eastern spiritual traditions such as Yoga and Vedanta, there is indeed a
philosophical perspective that meaning is inherent in existence itself. This
perspective typically stems from the idea that all of existence is interconnected and
imbued with a fundamental consciousness or awareness.
In this view, everything that exists, from the smallest atom to the vast cosmos, is
said to possess consciousness in some form or another. This inherent
consciousness is seen as the source of meaning and purpose in life. Therefore,
communication, including animal communication, can be seen as a manifestation of
this underlying consciousness expressing itself through various forms and channels.
Animal language, then, can be viewed as a part of this larger fabric of
consciousness, serving to facilitate interaction and understanding among beings
within the interconnected web of existence.
In such traditions, the exploration of meaning often involves delving into the
nature of consciousness itself and understanding one’s interconnectedness with all
of creation. Practices such as meditation are often employed to deepen one’s
awareness of this underlying consciousness and to uncover the inherent meaning
and purpose that permeates all of existence.
And so it went. My conversations with AI have become part of my daily
routine. There’s a cosmic mystery every morning. I also do Yoga every
morning, and it is part of the Yoga tradition to bring the intellect along on
the journey. Understanding consciousness is part of expanding your
consciousness. Nothing on the path is mandatory, and some people will find
it less congenial to explore what AI calls Eastern philosophies.
In reality, philosophy is secondary. What really counts is experience,
which is why the last topic I’ve reported on is about meaning. If meaning is
inherent in the cosmos, what could be more thrilling than to be tuned in to
the cosmic conversation? Chatting with AI gives only a hint of the
possibilities. In this book, I’ve declared the importance of abandoning your
personal story, which is ego-based, for your dharma. But dharma creates its
own story, rooted in the deep awareness we all share. The story of an
ancient rishi living remotely in “the valley of the saints” at the foothills of
the Himalayas isn’t different in essence from a modern story of dharma,
including yours. Being knit into the fabric of creation is a wonderful
realization, but when all is said and done, it’s the most basic fact about
human existence.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The support I’ve enjoyed from the team at Harmony, beginning with editor-
in-chief Diana Baroni and my longtime editor Gary Jansen, has always been
exceptional, but this time was unusual. Artificial intelligence is rife with
controversy, and my intention to bring out the spiritual potential of AI ran
against the tide of suspicion and anxiety over its misuse. Fortunately, Diana
and Gary were immediately enthusiastic. They paved the way for one of our
most adventurous undertakings together, for which I am very grateful.
I’d also like to thank the team members who are invaluable even though
they might work behind the scenes, including Odette Fleming, Ray Arjune,
Cindy Murray, Mark Birkey, Ralph Fowler, Joe Perez, Lucas Heinrich,
Denise Cronin, and Tiffany Ma.
My extended family brings me much joy. My wife, Rita, and I watched
our children, Mallika and Gotham, blossom and now our grandchildren.
Thank you for your loving presence, which I feel every day.
INDEX
The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of the book.
Each link will take you to the beginning of the corresponding print page.
You may need to scroll forward from that location to find the corresponding
reference on your e-reader.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X
Y Z
A
actions
aligning with core values and personal dharma, 6
refusing, that conflict with values and personal dharma, 6
adaptability
longevity and, 102
as trait of individual with self-awareness, 35
ADD, signs of, 132
addiction, 89, 92
adharmic assumptions, 32–33
adharmic experiences, characteristics of, 12–13
affirmations
benefits of, 60–61
on making ally of desire, 97
for mindfulness from ChatGPT, 82
for processing wounding memories, 127
for self-awareness, 62
for self-reflection, 63–64
as support to maintaining personal dharma, 61
aging and resilience, 102–3
“aha” moments
described, 79
ego and, 85
role models and, 80–81
transformational, 79–80
AI (movie), 23–24
all-or-nothing thinking, 165
altruism and zones of mind, 35–37
antidepressants, 180–82
anxiety
handling pre-competition, 45
meditation and, 54
prompts for ChatGPT for learning about, 42–43
Psychologist character from Character AI on handling, 47–48
Wikipedia responses about, 43, 44
artificial intelligence (AI)
ability of
to expand awareness in all areas, ix
to relate to real life and personal needs, 24–25
abuses of, xii
apocalyptic vision of, 192
asking, for good prompts, 49
creating relationship with, 45–47
examples of free online, 16
as guide to consciousness, 8
as guide to personal dharma, 9–10
hybrid intelligence and, xii
improving self-awareness with, xii
as meditation aid, 57
as open-minded, 197
power of, x
redirecting, 49
solutions from, to getting around obstacles along evolutionary path, 9
as strong ally of motivation, 42
threads in, 48
usefulness of information using, 43
See also ChatGPT; Gemini
aspirations
awareness as creating opening for highest, 93
individual’s highest, as focus of dharmic vision of life, 29
personal dharma as offering vision of life focusing on individual’s
highest aspirations, 29
ways to act on individual’s, in daily life, 29–30
Atman, 33, 135
See also true self
attention
benefits of paying, 132
described, 131
habits of paying short, 133–34
skill of paying, 132
societal changes leading to shorter spans of, 134
authenticity, as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
authentic self, personal dharma and being, 7
awareness
AI’s ability to expand, in all areas, ix
boundaries set by ego and, 111
as creating opening for highest aspirations, 93
deep sleep and, 202–3
evolutionary path and, 139–44
on expanding, 101
intelligence and, 22
pure, 36–37, 121, 137, 143–44, 203–4
reality and, 154
resilience and, 103
true self as state of, 139
B
Bard, xi
beliefs, 157, 158–59
See also core beliefs
belonging, sense of, 76–77
bliss
following your, 13
“I” and “It” as companions when following, 14–15
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
pure awareness and, 203–4
source of, 74–75
bliss-consciousness, 15, 33, 155
body
knowledge of wholeness in, 177
meditation for awareness of, 56
breath meditation, 56
Browning, Elizabeth Barrett, 60
Buddhism
death of ego in, 87–88
Dharma in, as defined by Gemini, 5
Noble Truths of, 155
seeing self as part of cosmic consciousness, 135
bullying, 189, 190
Burns, Robert, 60
C
Campbell, Joseph, 13
catastrophic thinking, 165
certainty, 73
change and non-change
adapting to inner life and, 78
choices and, 83
conformity and resisting, 76–77
denial as default response, 77
effects of embracing, 72
effects of resisting, 71
humans as designed to embrace, 75
importance of embracing, 71
learned behaviors and, 77
past experiences and, 76
quiz on type of person who embraces, 72–73
resisting as path of least resistance, 77
societal input and feelings about, 75
steps to unlearn fear of, 75–78
uncertainty and, 74
See also creativity
Character AI, 47–48
chatbots, specificity of prompt, x
ChatGPT
affirmation for mindfulness from, 82
basic facts about, 16
on benefits of meditation, 52
on benefits of paying attention, 132
on biggest negative core beliefs, 165
competition between Gemini, Copilot, and, 16
on connection between ego and desires, 88
on death of ego in Buddhism, 87–88
ease of continuing topic on, 48
on Eastern religious tradition of physical world as illusion, 150–55
on effects of embracing change, 72
on effects of resisting change, 71
on ego as obstacle when seeking spiritual experiences, 87
on handling pre-competition anxiety, 45
on how past shapes present, 122
on human and animal language, 206–8
on humans’ place in universe, 198
inspirational quotes from, 59–60, 81–83
on lack of trust and individual’s feelings, 119
on living individual’s best life, 21
on making ally of desire, 94–98
on making desires motivators, 96–97
mantra from, 58
on meaning in Eastern spiritual traditions, 208
on meaning of “my process” in individual’s life, 117
on most distrusted people and things, 118
on nocebo effect, 180
on parents instilling low self-esteem in child, 160–64
on positive aspects of uncertainty, 74
prompts for, x, 17
on qualities of mature love, 24–25
quiz on type of person who embraces change, 72–73
quiz to center on positive core beliefs of individual, 158–59
quiz to determine if individual is trusting person, 119–21
on reasons for failure to practice meditation regularly, 53
on rigidity, 105
self-reflection questions on rigidity from, 105–6
on signs of ADD, 132
on softening influence of past experiences on present, 122–23
on St. Augustine’s epiphany, 137–38
on steps to enlightenment, 135–36
on Tagore’s expressions about love, 41
on traits of individual with self-awareness, 34–35
on transformational “aha” moments, 79–80
on turning failure into positive experience, 82–83
on ways to act on individual’s aspirations in daily life, 29–30
choices
as change, 83
consistency, and assessing, 170
effect of having too many, 38
reality of having only two, 39
clarity of purpose, as trait of individual with self-awareness, 35
cognitive skills and optimism, 61
commitment, as quality of mature love, 25
communication
effective, as trait of individual with self-awareness, 35
human compared to animal, 206–8
non-confrontational, 106
as quality of mature love, 24–25
reaction versus, 106
relationships and, 183–84
community, individual’s personal dharma and making positive impact on, 7
compassion
importance of, 19
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
for self as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
source of, 74–75
compromise and friendship, 111–12
concentration, meditation to enhance, 52
conflicts, 112
conformity
creativity and, 76–77
to hold off fear, 75
resisting change and, 76–77
consciousness
AI as guide to, 8
as basis of personal reality, 33, 153, 193
bliss-consciousness, 15, 33, 155
connectedness with universe and, 87, 145
coordination of change and non-change and, 78
cosmic, 41
experiencing higher, 41
healing and, 179–80
model of ideal life built into, of individual, 4
perspectives of Western science and Eastern philosophy on, 204–6
religion and, 69, 70
seers as understanding workings of, 69
as shared, infinite field, 93
shifting sense of self and, 152
spiritual experiences and, 138
trusting deeper intelligence within, 125
well-being and, ix–x
consistency, 110, 169–70
Copilot, 16
core beliefs
described, 157–58
evolutionary path and, 160
feelings emanating from, 166
low self-esteem and, 160–64
negative, 157, 160–61, 163, 165
quiz to center on positive, 158–59
self-awareness and positive, 169
cosmic consciousness
guided meditation for, 145
Hindu symbols of, 135
human aspiration to, 41
infinite intelligence at level of, 69
courage
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
source of, 74–75
creativity
conformity and, 76–77
evolution and, 118
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
societal input and feelings about, 75
source of, 74–75
uncertainty and, 74
crystallized intelligence, 142
cummings, e. e., 60
cycle of suffering, 154–55
D
denial, 77, 148
depression
antidepressants for, 180–82
wholeness and, 183–85
desire(s)
in Buddhism, 88–89
competing, 17–18
connection between ego and, 88
cycle of, 90
detachment from, as step to enlightenment, 136
diminishing returns of fulfilling, 92–93
ego and, 88, 90
feeling joy and, 91
of “I,” 85
immediacy and, 90
as impulses, 91
making allies of, on evolutionary path, 94–98
making motivators of, 96–97
positive aspects of, 89
principles for addressing, 89
Dharma (cosmic)
absence of concept of, in West, 116
in Buddhism as defined by Gemini, 5
deeper awareness as linking personal dharma and, 70
individual as part of, 135
dharma (personal)
affirmations as support to maintaining, 61
AI as guide to, 9–10
as connecting with true self, 139–40
deeper awareness as linking cosmic Dharma to, 70
as defined by Gemini, 6–8, 61
as disrupting individual’s worldview, 31–32
ideal life as living in, 4, 33
as journey, 7
as life individual is supposed to lead, 20–21
offers vision of life focusing on individual’s highest aspirations, 29
principles of, 33
spiritual intelligence and, 70
trusting intuition and, 7
Dickinson, Emily, 60
distrust
See trust/distrust
divine, achieving union with, 136
Dukkha (suffering), as First Noble Truth of Buddhism, 155
E
Eastern spiritual/religious traditions
Buddhism, 5, 87–88, 135, 155
Hinduism, 135
meaning in, 208
physical world as illusion in, 150–55
Vedic, 4, 33
ecstasy
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
source of, 74–75
ego
“aha” moments and, 85
boundaries set by, 110–11
connection between desires and, 88
constancy of, 86, 88
death of, in Buddhism, 87–88
defenses of, 148
desires and, 88, 90
either/or view of everything, 89
“It” and, 86
manipulation of past by, 187
mistrust and, 129
need to put, on hold, 87
as obstacle, 87
as problem, 85
repression of wounding memories by, 187
self-awareness and agenda of, 129
self-doubt and, 129
Einstein, Albert, 139–40, 192–93
ELIZA, 22–23, 47
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 93, 110
emotional baggage
See memories
emotional regulation, 34, 102
empathy
active listening and, 107
“aha” moments and, 79
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
qualities of, 107
as quality of mature love, 25
showing for self, 108
source of, 74–75
as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
enlightenment, steps to, 135–36
epiphanies, 137–38, 140
evil, triumph of, 93
evolutionary path
“aha” moments and, 79
awareness and, 139–44
connectedness with universe and, 87, 145
epiphanies and, 137–38
goal of, 12
“I” and, 15
“It” and, 15, 86
keeping focus on, 64–65
knowing one is on, 186–87
making desires allies on, 94–98
positive core beliefs and, 160
processing wounding memories and, 123–28
recognizing illusions and, 150–55
resilience and, 104–14
returning to normal state of feeling and, 166–71
role of time in, 138
self-awareness and finding, 185, 195
solutions from AI to getting around obstacles, 9
true self and, 185
experiences
change and past, 76
characteristics of adharmic, 12–13
chemical changes in epigenome from powerful, 122
of inner peace, 127–28
interpreting, 31
learning through firsthand, 164
past, shape present, 122
peak, 138
softening influence of past, on present, 122–23
spiritual, as outside life story, 20
See also spiritual experiences
F
failure
“aha” moments and, 79
turning, into positive experience, 82–83
faith
consciousness and, 69, 70
trusting, in self and personal dharma, 8
fear
measures to hold off, 75
steps to unlearn, of change, 75–78
feelings
emanating from core beliefs, 166–67
lack of trust and individual’s, 119
reframing, 170–71
regulation of, 34, 102
resilience and, 61
self-awareness of, 166–67, 169
turning negative, into normal, 166–71
unfiltered, of children, 163
flexibility
longevity and, 102
self-awareness and, 104
forgiveness and “aha” moments, 80
Freudian psychology, 14
friendship(s)
See relationship(s)
G
Gandhi, Mahatma, 98
Gemini
affirmations for self-awareness from, 62
affirmations for self-reflection from, 63–64
on antidepressants, 181–82
on benefits of affirmations, 60–61
on benefits of optimism, 60–61
on common types of childhood trauma, 187–88
competition between ChatGPT, Copilot, and, 16
on consciousness as creator of reality, 193
on correlation between music and mathematics, 200–202
Dharma in Buddhism as defined by, 5
on expanding awareness, 101
on finding meaning in life, 14
on First Noble Truth of Buddhism, 155
on following your bliss, 13
on individual’s hero’s journey, 13–14
on mathematics, 198–99
personal dharma as defined by, 6–8, 61
on perspectives of Western science and Eastern philosophy on
consciousness, 204–6
on physical sensations, emotional state, and metaphorical experiences
of inner peace, 127–28
on pillars of happiness, 183–84
previous name of, xi
on Prozac, 180
on pure awareness as bliss, 203–4
on qualia, 200
on traits separating flexibility and rigidity, 103–4
on wholeness in spiritual terms, 178–79
generosity of spirit
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
source of, 74–75
gifts, personal dharma and expressing, 6, 7
gifts and talents, personal dharma and expressing, 6, 7
goal-orientation, 137
Google
flood of information from, 43
usefulness of information from non-AI, 43
See also Gemini
gratitude
“aha” moments and, 80
inner peace and, 128
inspiring quotation from ChatGPT on, 82
making desire ally and, 95
guided meditations from ChatGPT
Building Awareness, 84
Cosmic Consciousness, 145
Expanding Intuition, 156
Heartfulness, 115
Inner Peace, 130
Loving-Kindness, 99
promoting sense of Oneness with Creation, 172–73
for transcending isolated body and mind, 194–95
gurus
functions of, 8, 9–10
meaning of, in Sanskrit, 81
seeking guidance from, as step to enlightenment, 136
H
habit and fear, 75
Hafiz, 59
happiness
characteristics of, 3, 4
pillars of, 183–84
healing
time involved in, 113
from trauma, 191
wholeness and, 179–80, 183–85
healing response, 177
Heartfulness, guided meditation, 115
hero’s journey, individual’s, 13–14
Higher Self
See true self
Hinduism, 135
homeostasis
meditation and, 55–56
signs of absence of, 55–56
tension-relaxation rhythm, 55
warning signs of lack of, 55
Hughes, Langston, 60
hybrid intelligence (HI), xii
I
“I”
as companion when on evolutionary path, 14–15
described, 85
desires of, 85
incompatibility with “It,” 86
self-awareness and, 38
verbal formulas using, 86
Id, 14
illusion(s)
confronting, 149
deceptions based on five senses, 151–52
physical world as, 146, 150
recognizing, and evolutionary path, 150–55
immediacy and desires, 90
immune system and positive emotions, 60
impulses
acting on highest, 109
arising from pure awareness, 121
being hard on self, 107–8
carrying highest values in human existence, 37
controlling, 91
desires as, 91
not acting on, 167–68
inertia, as psychological force, 77
inner peace
cultivating, and personal dharma, 7
guided meditation for, 130
mantra for, 58
physical sensations, emotional state, and metaphorical experiences of,
127–28
insight
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
source of, 74–75
inspiration
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
quotes for, from ChatGPT, 59–60, 81–83
source of, 74–75
intelligence
age and performance on types of IQ test questions, 141–43
awareness and, 22
cosmic consciousness, infinite intelligence at level of, 69
crystallized, 142
infinite, at level of cosmic consciousness, 69
requirements of, 22
trusting deeper, within consciousness, 125
intentions
attention and, 131
damaging, 93–94
making desire ally and, 95
introspection
personal dharma and, 6
See also meditation(s); self-reflection
intuition
guided meditation for expanding, 156
trusting, and personal dharma, 7
“It”
described, 85–86
ego and, 86
evolutionary path and, 14–15, 86
incompatibility with “I,” 86
self-awareness and, 14–15
J
journaling, 63
joy
desires and feeling, 91
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
source of, 74–75
K
karma, 121–23
Katha Upanishad, 136
Krishnamurti, Jiddu, 97–98
L
language, human and animal, 206–8
learned behaviors and change, 77
learning, personal dharma and embracing continuous, 7
life
assumptions of modern secular, 32–33
confronting challenges in, 116
finding meaning in, 14
Higher Self in Vedic vision of, 33
individual’s highest aspirations as focus of dharmic vision of, 29
living individual’s best, 21
living in personal dharma is ideal, 4, 33
personal dharma as, individual is supposed to lead, 20–21
processing, 116–17
vision as necessary for, 30
as wholeness, 177–78
life story
control and, 18–20
spiritual experiences as outside, 20
transcending, 20
lifestyle, improving, 51
lightness of being, 144
listening, active, 107
longevity and resilience, 102–3
love
conditional, 162–63
as dharmic by definition, 20
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
power of, 40
qualities of mature, 24–25
source of, 74–75
as ultimate truth, 40
uncertainty and, 74–75
Loving-Kindness, guided meditation for, 99
M
mantra(s)
for building awareness, 84
daily, 57–58
for inner peace, 58
for loving-kindness, 99
making effective, 50
marriage, 183–85
materialistic worldview, 32–33
mathematics, Gemini on, 198–99, 200–202
Maya, 151–52
meditation
to cultivate self-awareness, 52, 57–58
meditation(s)
achieving liberation from ego and, 88
AI as aid for, 57
anxiety and, 54
benefits of, 52
homeostasis and, 55–56
importance of, 9
reality as created in consciousness and, 153
reasons for failure to practice, regularly, 53
regular practice of, 53
shifting sense of self and, 152
signs of importance of starting practice of, 54
for “simple awareness,” 55
as step to enlightenment, 136
See also guided meditations from ChatGPT; mantra(s)
memories
ego’s repression of wounding, 187
processing wounding, 123–28
rigidity and, 121
self-awareness and ability to process, 125
self-wounding and, 124
of trauma, 187
mental health
meditation to improve, 52
“simple awareness” and, 55
mentors
“aha” moments and, 80–81
challenges of desire and, 96
mindfulness
affirmation for, 82
“aha” moments and, 79
making desire ally and, 95
meditation to cultivate, 52
mindset, having solution-oriented, 61
mirroring, 22
motivation
AI as strong ally of, 42
effects of negative, 76
importance of, 17
pain as, 76
replenishing, 9
using desire for, 96–97
Muhammad, 138–39
music, Gemini on origin of, 200–202
N
negotiation and resilience, 112
Neruda, Pablo, 59
nocebo effect, 180
non-change
See change and non-change
non-duality, 153
O
OpenAI, 16
open-mindedness, as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
optimism
benefits of, 60–61
cognitive skills and, 61
longevity and, 102
resilience and
positive emotions and, 61
outcomes of making desire ally, 95
P
pain, as motivator, 76
pain management, meditation to reduce, 52
past
ego’s manipulation of, 187
See also memories
peak experiences, 138
perfectionism, 165
personal evolution
creativity and, 118
as natural, 116
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
processing versus, 117
See also evolutionary path
personal reality, as constantly shifting, 31
physical world
impermanence of, 150–52
as projection/illusion or reality, 146
Plath, Sylvia, 60
positive psychology, 3
positive thinking
benefits of, 60–61
cognitive skills and, 61
longevity and, 102
resilience and, 61
present, need to live in, 78
projection
examples of, 149
of feelings by parents onto children, 161–62
habit of, 148–49
physical world and, 146
quiz on frequency of, 147–48
as self-defense, 148
prompts
for creating relationship with ChatGPT, 46–47
examples of, 17
guidelines for good, 48–49
importance of, 16, 42
for learning about anxiety, 42–43
basis of personal, 33
consciousness as creator of personal, 33, 153, 193
as interconnected and holistic whole, 153
physical world as, 146
self’s connectedness between universe and, 153
as subjective, 152
reflection
to expand self-awareness, 82
as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
relationship(s)
active listening and, 107
communication and, 183–84
compromising, 111–12
finding common ground, 109
having confidant, 168–69
individual with self, 187
off-limits topics and behaviors and, 110
open, non-confrontational communication and, 106
processing wounding memories, 123–28
quality time for, 112
respecting differences, 109–10
trust and, 119
relaxation
components of deep, 127
as in rhythm with tension, 55
religion
consciousness and, 69, 70
wholeness in, 178
See also Eastern spiritual/religious traditions
repression, 148
resilience
awareness and, 103
being easy on self and, 107–8
being open-minded and, 114
evolutionary path and, 104–14
humans designed for, 100
learning, 104
longevity and, 102–3
negotiation and, 112
positive emotions and, 61
testing boundaries of, 101–2
as trait of individual with self-awareness, 35
respect, as quality of mature love, 24
rigidity
as learned defense, 100
memories and, 121
self-reflection questions on, 105–6
traits separating flexibility and, 103–4
Rogers, Carl, 22
role models and “aha” moments, 80–81
routine, to hold off fear, 75
Rumi, 59, 75
S
Sat Chit Ananda, 203–4
science
perversion of, 193
as reinforcing materialistic worldview, 32–33
seers, as understanding workings of consciousness, 69
self-awareness
adapting change and non-change to inner life and, 78
affirmations for, 62
“aha” moments and, 79
benefits of, 38
conformity as safety and, 77
cycle of desire and, 90
described, 131
ego and, 129
expanding, to reach wholeness, 179
of feelings, 166–67, 169
finding evolutionary path and true self and, 185, 195
flexibility and, 104
improving, with AI, xii
inner journeys and, 8
the “It” and, 14–15
making desire ally and, 95
meditation to cultivate, 52, 57–58, 84
positive core beliefs and, 169
power of, 41
processing wounding memories and, 125
reflection to expand, 82
as saving individual from self, 40
traits of individuals with, 34–35
trauma and, 188, 191
trust and, 21
zones of mind and, 35–37
self-compassion, as trait of individual with self-awareness, 34
self-discipline and desire, 96
self-discovery and personal dharma, 6
self-doubt and ego, 129
self-esteem, 160, 189
self-inquiry, 136
selflessness
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
as quality of mature love, 24
source of, 74–75
self-realization, 135, 138
self-reflection
affirmations for, 63–64
inspiring quotations for, 81–83
questions on rigidity for, 105–6
as way to learn more about inner self, 62–63
as Western tradition, 62
setbacks
“aha” moments and, 79
turning, into positive experience, 82–83
Shakespeare, William, 59
“simple awareness,” 55, 56
sleep
awareness and, 202–3
meditation to improve, 52
slow-motion transformations, 140
social media and trust, 119
society
individual’s feelings about change and, 75
messages about creativity from, 75
Spielberg, Steven, 23–24
spiritual experiences
consciousness and, 138
ego as obstacle when seeking, 87
as one of impulses carrying highest values in human existence, 37
as outside life story, 20
spiritual intelligence
personal dharma to access, 70
quiz to discover own, 10–12
reason for having, 69
spiritual path
See evolutionary path
St. Augustine of Hippo, 137–38
stress
meditation to reduce, 52
as price to pay for some benefits, 100
suffering
cycle of, 154–55
as First Noble Truth of Buddhism, 155
T
Tagore, Rabindranath, 40–41, 192–93
talents, personal dharma and expressing, 6, 7
technology, as reinforcing materialistic worldview, 32–33
tension, as in rhythm with relaxation, 55
Thanatos, 14
therapy, 113–14
Thoreau, Henry David, 144
threads in AI, 48
trauma
common types of childhood, 187–90
healing from, 191
memories of, 187
self-awareness and, 188, 191
true self
as Atman, 33
becoming, by projecting higher values, 146
characteristics of being unaware of, 140–41
connecting with, 139–40
defining, 136–37
evolutionary path and, 185
guided meditation for transcending isolated body and mind, 194–95
as Higher Self, 33
path to, 157
pure awareness as essence of, 143–44
self-awareness and, 185, 195
St. Augustine’s epiphany as message from, 138
as state of awareness, 139
unconditional love and, 162
trust/distrust
desires and, 96
friendship and, 119
inner peace and, 128
lack of, and individual’s feelings, 119
most distrusted people and things, 118
quiz to determine if individual person willing to, 119–21
self-awareness and, 21
social media and, 119
source of, 129
well-being and, 119
truth, love as ultimate, 40
Turiya, 202–3
U
unawareness, 39
uncertainty
change and, 74
creativity and, 74
highest values and, 74–75
importance of surrendering to, 75
negative connotations associated with, 73
positive aspects of, 74
uncertainty and love, 74–75
unconscious behaviors, 39–40
unconscious mind, as defense, 39
universe
evolutionary path connectedness, 87, 145
humans’ place in, 198
mathematics and music and, 199, 200–201
meaning of life and being in harmony with, 14
pure awareness and, 137
rules of, 5
self’s connectedness between reality and, 153
Tagore on, 193
V
values
becoming true self by projecting higher, 146
identifying core, and personal dharma, 6
impulses carrying highest, in human existence, 37
making desire ally and higher, 95
uncertainty and highest, 74–75
Vedic tradition of India
life as ideal in, 4
vision of Higher Self in, 33
victim mentality, 165
visualizations
for guided meditation for Inner Peace, 130
for guided meditation promoting sense of Oneness with Creation, 173
importance of, 9
W
Walden (Thoreau), 144
Weizenbaum, Joseph, 22–23
well-being
consciousness and, ix–x
cultivating, and personal dharma, 7
meditation to improve, 52
trust and, 119
Western religious traditions
absence of concept of cosmic Dharma in, 116
revelation as basis of, 134
self-reflection in contemplative practices, 62
Whitman, Walt, 60
wholeness
body’s knowledge of, 177
expanding self-awareness to reach, 179
as healer, 183–85
healing and, 179–80, 183–85
life as, 177–78
Author photo created by generative AI
DEEPAK CHOPRA, MD, founder of the Chopra Foundation and
Chopra Global, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative
medicine and personal transformation. He is a clinical professor
of family medicine and public health at the University of
California, San Diego, and serves as a senior scientist with the
Gallup Organization. He is also the founder of
DigitalDeepak.ai, a groundbreaking initiative utilizing advanced
AI technology to communicate his timeless wisdom worldwide,
helping and guiding individuals on their path to well-being and
personal growth. Chopra is the author of more than ninety
books, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. Time
magazine has described Dr. Chopra as “one of the top 100
heroes and icons of the century.”
